In way over my head :(

dancingfairy

Have just noticed you replied to the fact it is just your expenses but depending on what your partner is paying out it might not necessarily be fair for you to be paying all of the mortgage on your own and you are linked - I guess the mortgage is in joint names? and you have the joint loan so you do need to pull together on this one.
df

tink28

I'm not paying the mortgage on my own... thats just half!!!
Everything on there is half - but maybe I over-estimated on shopping...

Pollycat

Hi
I'm just wondering about your SOA.

You just have one lot of income in in there.
Does that mean your OH doesn't work/get any benefits or have you excluded his income totally because you're trying to deal with the debts without him knowing?

If he does work, what about the expenditure in your SOA?
Are they total household ones or just your portion/half?

I can't work it out because some of the expenditure seems low for a household (£13.50 pmwater rates) but other items are high - even for 2 people e.g. TV licence @ £18.00 pm.

Before people can give advice on your SOA, I think you need to explain whether the amounts shown are for the household or just your contribution.

Good luck.

tink28

OK I will look at the SOA again... but yes I have excluded OH's income and the expenditure is half the total....

dancingfairy

Hi - the options I can see are as follows:
1) increase your income by over 120 a month (you're 120 short at the moment + clothes, car tax, maintenance etc).
2) do some kind of dmp with one of the debt charities but then you will default on the joint loan
3) speak to husband re taking a mortgage holiday and hammering those debts
4) potentially an IVA ( I know nothing about these so can't advise on this).
5) go bankrupt

These appear to be the main options - hopefully CCCS can steer you through the maze but hopfully that will give you some options ot think about.
Good Luck
df

Pollycat

tink28 wrote: »

OK I will look at the SOA again... but yes I have excluded OH's income and the expenditure is half the total....

TV licence too high - £145.50 per year, so your portion should be £6.06 not £18.

Council Tax - is this for 10 instalments or 12?
Have you checked that you're in the right band?

£50 (or in reality £100) per month for landline, internet & Sky is way too high - especially as your mobile is £35 pm. Is Pay as you Go an option?

You can't afford £30 per month on presents.
Can you talk to friends and relatives and ask if you can just do token gifts?

How do you pay for groceries?
If on C/C, dig out your bills and work out exactly how much you spend.
£300 for just 2 people is very high.
My average monthly spend (and that includes odd trips to shops to buy milk, bread etc) over the last 53 months is less than £170 for 2 adults at home all day.
We eat very well and that includes wine.

Check out the Old Style board for tips on meal planning, bulk cooking etc.

Start keeping a spending diary to see if you are frittering away cash on magazines, costa-lot coffees etc.

Unfortunately, a lot of the ways for you to cut your spends will need input & help from your OH.

I hope you can find the courage to admit the extent of your debt to him and even more I hope that he can understand and be prepared to help you deal with your debt.

You might find that he is more receptive if you can present him with a way forward i.e "this is my problem and this is what I've done to start to sort it out and this is what I hope you can help me with" rather than saying "OMG, I'm in such a mess, I don't know what to do".

Good luck

pinkteapot

You need to tell him, and you need to look at the SOA together. You're married - it's a partnership so it's not a case of my finances/your finances anymore. Maybe he can help you get out of debt faster by using some of his spare cash each month (if he has any) and then you can both start saving again for the future together sooner. It's going to take a long time to clear that level of debt and you can't do it without telling him. For one thing, he'll wonder where all your money's going.

I agree with PollyCat that if you have a plan for how to get out of debt when you talk to him, it'll really help. Don't try and blame him (you said the spending sprung from a relationship bad patch) - that's water under the bridge now. Further down the line (much further) you can revisit why the debt happened and how to stop it happening again in the future, but the whys don't matter in that initial conversation as it'll be a shock for him.

SuzySu

Tink, you do really need to tell him. He will find out at some point but at least you can show him that you've taken responsibility for it and are doing something proactive about it.

Rather than saying "...actually we owe this much" you can say "....the figures look like this, and this is what I'm doing about it".

He will be annoyed/upset etc but as pinkteapot says, it IS a marriage...for better AND FOR WORSE. Once you start being able to discuss this with him, your stress levels will plummet.

bluejeans53

I was in a similar situation to you, struggling on on my own. Decided to tell my OH, he went ape :eek: for about an hour, then calmed down and said right, lets sort this out. He less money savvy than me, but we sat and and worked things out, what could go and stay.

BELIEVE YOU ME AN HOURS WORTH OF RANTING WAS WELL WORTH THE OUTCOME. Now I can say we cant afford it, instead of missing a payment on something to do DH wanted to do, so he would not find out we could not afford it because of debt.

Its living hell, I know exactly where you are, chews the H*LL out of you.

Take Care, hope you find the courage to tell

tink28

OK Maybe this is a bit more accurate!

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1600
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1600

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 722.5
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 68.5
Electricity............................. 15
Gas..................................... 15
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 13.5
Telephone (land line)................... 10
Mobile phone............................ 35
TV Licence.............................. 6
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 10
Internet Services....................... 5
Groceries etc. ......................... 75
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 30
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 27.5
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 40
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 7.5
Buildings insurance..................... 5
Contents insurance...................... 5
Life assurance ......................... 10.7
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 30
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1131.2

Asset
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 230000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 230000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 168000...(722.5)....0
Total secured & HP debts...... 168000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Credit Card....................5750......50........27
Credit Card....................2500......50........18.9
Loan...........................11850.....232.......18.9
Total unsecured debts..........20100.....332.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,600
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,131.2
Available for debt repayments........... 468.8
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 332
[FONT=&quot]Amount left after debt repayments....... 136.8[/FONT]