In way over my head :(

tink28

Hi

This is going to be long... sorry

Just thought I'd start a new post and say hi.... and to try and get some support from you fab people

I've been reading some of the diaries and I honestly don't know how you guys manage to stay so positive!

I'm in debt (£25k give or take) - I am trying to deal with it by myself as my husband doesn't know - well he knows about £10k of it.... but its my stupidity that got me where I am...

Was going thru a rough stage in relationship about 2.5yrs ago... applied for a credit card just to see if I would get accepted... biggest mistake I ever made. The 'rough patch' took me on shopping sprees to cheer myself up... before I knew it I'd spent most of the limit on my card. Took a low interest loan to pay it off, which I did. Then spent on it again!
Took yet another loan to combine the CC and loan.... but then spent on the CC again after paying it off (yes I know!!)
Got a 0% balance transfer..... yup you've guessed it! Spent on both cards

Now I owe money to friends and family as well as these companies.
Got made redundant in Apr but am working now and have fallen behind on loan and cc payments. I have contacted the companies asking for lower payments to no avail!

I'm at my wits end! I really don't know how to deal with this.... I'm literally surviving each month with no money and I can't take much more!

Any advice would be great!! I have called CCCS today to find out about DMP... but have to wait to speak to a counsellor on Monday. But I have the threats of debt collection now and I dont know what to do - obviously I dont want people coming to my house!

Any other advice on how to deal with this situation would be great because at the moment I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel!

Sorry for the rant but you all seem to know what you're doing and you all seem supportive x

I have also done an SOA as advised on another thread
Monthly income after tax................ 1600
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1600

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 722.5
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 68.5
Electricity............................. 30
Gas..................................... 30
Water rates............................. 13.5
Telephone (land line)................... 20
Mobile phone............................ 35
TV Licence.............................. 18
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 20
Internet Services....................... 10
Groceries etc. ......................... 150
Petrol/diesel........................... 30
Car Insurance........................... 27.5
Other travel............................ 40
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 7.5
Buildings insurance..................... 5
Contents insurance...................... 5
Life assurance ......................... 10.7
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 30
Total monthly expenses.................. 1273.2

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...
Mortgage...................... 168000...(722.5)....
Total secured & HP debts...... 168000

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Credit Card....................5750......50........27
Credit Card....................2500......50........18.9
Loan...........................11850.....232.......18.9
Joint Loan.....................11000.....115.......7.8
Total unsecured debts..........31100.....447.......


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,600
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,273.2
Available for debt repayments........... 326.8
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 447
Amount short for making debt repayments. -120.2

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -168,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -31,100
Net Assets.............................. -199,100

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi, just read your post and wanted to send you a bit of support. Your story will be very similar to lots of other people on here (myself included) so try not to be too hard on yourself. There will be a way out, it might not be easy, but I am sure other people will be along with some sound advice.

Looking at your SOA, it seems very tight and there certainly isnt much room for cutting back. I think you need to be brave and come clean with your husband. Having read the stories on here DMP isnt an easy option and I think you need his support.

Good luck with it all, just remember that that you have faced up to things and made a start which is always the hardest bit.

annibee

Hi Tink,

Sorry to hear you are feeling overwhelmed by everything. I would suggest talking to your oh as you really cant work out budgets and stuff if your dealing with the deception of all this. He will stand by you because he is your husband and he undoubtably loves you but you need to be honest!

So sit down explain all - dont expect him to write you a cheque hell prob be pretty miffed but once its off your chest i guarentee youll be able to cope better with the payments.

Hope you feel better soon and work stuff out xx

annibee

Can i just say the other reason you need to tell him as because your married it will affect his credit rating and such especially if you go through dmp plus they will need all his details too and will take that into consideration x

nekosuki

annibee wrote: »

Can i just say the other reason you need to tell him as because your married it will affect his credit rating and such especially if you go through dmp plus they will need all his details too and will take that into consideration x

Annibee's right, the joint loan you have will have created a financial association between the two of you which means your credit status will affect his and vice versa.

Also, if he's unaware of most of your debt, does he think there's a surplus of money each month?

Hang in there, DFW is a reservoir of great advice.;)

tink28

Thanks guys

I have thought about telling him a million times but I bottle it! The thought of it actually makes me feel physically sick!! - he isn't really that understanding!

I guess I am just trying to put it off as much as possible and deal with it myself altho deep down I know there will come a time when he finds out - cos of the credit etc. Our mortgage is due for renewal next yr - towards the end of the year and thats whats worrying me the most - incase my stupidness will affect that!!

I spoke to CCCS and explained he doesn't know about it so they didnt take any of his details - they've done it as my own debt...

annibee

I know its hard. When I found out how much my oh was in debt i was angry, upset and annoyed.....for about ten mins! Then i sat down with him and worked out what we can do as a family to sort this out. I know it must be scary but hes going to be more annoyed if you dont tell him and then he finds out (which he will especially if you go down dmp route.) I cant imagine how hard it must be keeping all this to yourself!

I really hope you sit down and talk it through because you will feel so much better and you might find you can work through it all yourselves

nicnoo99

Hello,
I'm of the same opinion as the others that you'll need to tell your husband, particularly if your mortgage is up for renewal - it'll come out during the process, I'd imagine. And you say he knows about some of it, so it's less of a leap than if he thought you were completely debt free.
He may also be of help - it sounds like you pretend the credit card spending isn't real, always spending up to the maximum after paying it off, but if he's keeping an eye on you then it'll become harder to kid yourself that it's ok - does that make sense?
On a more practical note, are you sure that your SOA is correct? You've only put one income on there, but you seem to have a whole household-full of expenses - is that right?
Best of luck - it'll be tough, but you can do it.

tink28

Hi, the SOA is correct as 'my spending' - thats just what I personally pay and my income.

I will try and pluck up the courage to tell him soon (or just pray I will the lottery this weekend).
I dont pretend the spending isn't real anymore, I guess I did when I first got them - it was always "ah well it can be paid back later" but now later has come :'( ... I dont have the cards anymore so its just trying to pay it all back. But of course the interest doesn't help at all... I've written to the companies and asked them to freeze the interest for a while even if its 6 months just to get myself back on track but nobody wants to help.

One things for sure - I will NEVER take out credit again... argh

dancingfairy

Hi - I'm just wondering how things are split between you in terms of expenses - for example why you are paying the whole mortgage, half of the mortgage it's huge, gas and electric look a bit high if just half, groceries again looks a bit high if just half.
At the moment though I don't see how you can shave 120 a month off that - especially as you don't appear to have anything listed for clothes, car maintenance, tax etc but obviously we need you to clarify re how the regular bills are split before we can comment further.
df

moriarty888

How about selling some of the stuff that you bought? Now's a good time of year to sell clothes as people are looking for winter wardrobes. It'll help with telling your husband if you can show that you are willing to give up some of the stuff that you bought. If his reaction is like most peoples it will be "what did you spend it on!?" So selling some of it will help you both.
Start thinking of positive ways to up your income and get this debt dealt with. Your salary is quite respectable so once CCCS have helped you come up with a reasonable repayment plan you'll be well on the road to recovery.
Good luck!