Ruined by bankruptcy and still haunted nearly 3 years later

FIGHTBACK

Im about a year into the 4yr BRO so 3 to go.I got discharged after a year in 2009 but the BRO runs for another 3 years.I tried to contest it as it was a gross injustice but they took full advantage of my low state and forced me to sign it.Apparently the OR have/or had a BRO annual quota so I was cannon fodder for that list.I have no IPA,they tried to force me to sign one but I refused as Im self employed and have no contract of work etc.I just cannot build up enough energy and a decent head of steam to really get going with my life and moneywise I have enough to scrape by,it's only an existence.So every day,week,month,year rolls on and on and I never get anywhere or do anything.No social life,holidays,just a deep rooted sense of shame and loss.I know what I want and have a plan to get there,but I can never regain the passion,feelgood,self belief,energy,confidence and finance necessary to get there.Things were turning round for me really well a few years ago,then the BR happened and it was like being nuked.The BRO is the fallout which just continues to linger and continues to hold me back.Without my self belief I really don't exist.

confused76

fightback perhaps this website will be of help to you:

http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/index.php

it's something you can work through in your own time. i hope it helps x

FIGHTBACK

Many many thanks to everyone on here for your input and help,it's much appreciated.

debtinfo

FIGHTBACK wrote: »

Apparently the OR have/or had a BRO annual quota so I was cannon fodder for that list.

Without trying to make you feel any worse as i can see that what you need is somehelp to get back on track and as the others have suggested it seems that you have more deep rooted problems than simply the bankruptcy and need to talk to someone to work through these.

Having said that i just wanted to correct the above as it is not accurate, for the other posters that come to the site. Each office does have a target for BRO's, this is based on the public funding that the IS receives for its investigation work. The IS actually has more cases suitable for a BRO and always has done, than it has the funding to pursue. Every year many cases are dropped simply because the resource is not there for them. They take forward the ones that they feel in their vast experience will best pass the scrutiny of the court. IE someone may have done some thing that they consider to be relativly minor such as continuing to trade for to long because all of the evidence is clear and the allegation is clear and so would easily pass the court. A more serious charge of say deliberatly defrauding customers may be dropped if the evidence is not quite there to prove the allegation, its all about what the OR can show to the court and be sattisfied that it would pass

FIGHTBACK

It was a case of taking a small 4 figure sum which was used for basic living needs,and itemised accordingly post bankruptcy.Mortgage,council tax,water,gas etc,all itemised and accounted for,which I was then punished for.I received no advice post BR from anyone,not the OR,not the Trustee,no one,I'm not a lawyer and I'm paying the price and am being punished accordingly.It is a punishment and nothing less.The OR knew I was weak,broken and couldnt defend myself in court so they ruthlessly persued me to sign the BRO.Where the hell were my Human Rights? of course,I don't have any.
The BR and OR has created all the problems,it's been a domino effect,it's ruined my life as I simply can't raise my spirits enough to get to where I want to be for all the reasons I've posted.

Darnit_2

Fightback, I looked at your other posts, coupled with your name suggests you are hell bent on "getting even" or justice or whatever you think it is. I can't help thinking this really isn't going to help you. No amount of writing letters and legal action will make you feel better in yourself and get your social life back on track, which is what you need. People, meaning, hope, love. You have to find a way to accept, deal and move on from your situation.

Why don't you research cognitive behavioural therapy, and counceling. It might help you see that what needs to change is your thought processes to get you out of this depression. There are so many enjoyments you could be having in life that cost very little, but not when you are this angry. I hope you can see that people are trying to help you, none judgemental. I feel for you right now, I really do, but you don't need pity or sympathy, you need proper health advice and a sensible progressive gentle plan to rebuild your life.

Best wishes...

FIGHTBACK

I see where you're coming from Darnit but I'm not trying to get even,I simply can't afford to fund a legal fight.I was an easy option for the OR in their BRO quota target and fell victim.My case was clear cut and simple in their eyes and I could'nt defend myself as I was worn down and broken with little energy so they effectively had a gun to my head.Now I'm paying the price and am bearing the punishment as I still have to follow all the rules of being a bankrupt.And that's the problem,which is why with a massive BRO I cannot put it all behind me,it's constantly on my file,on record.It eats away at me,knowing that I can't move on etc.I want to rent a place in a new area but guess what? I can't get a place to rent unless I pay the full 6 months upfront which I can't afford so I'm stuck where I am.Everytime I want to do anything I know I can't as I can't afford it or don't have the confidence.The few social things Ive been invited to I've turned down as I can't be bothered to lie and pretend everythings all okay.I'm also sick of making excuses for myself.I can't build anything up with work etc,as I'm not allowed credit.All I want more than anything else,is to wake up and actually feel good and have something to look forward to rather than the illusion of life that's haunted me for 4 years and the ground hog day of which I constantly play a part.
Sorry to bore you all and many thanks again for all your kind words of input,I won't irritate you again I promise!

Amnesty

Look mate,you`re not irritating you`re just a normal person that`s been through a world of !!!!,thought that going BR would be an end to it all,then got handed what is basically the equivalent of a 4 year prison sentence and all for an amount which was basically peanuts.I don`t blame you for being !!!!ed off.Credit isn`t everything.I don`t know your past but get back in touch with your friends,they know you`ve had a bit of a mare so will understand you not been around,just tell em you`ll be suprised what even a bit of banter can do to lift things.As for Facebook,well people only post what`s good so don`t go thinking everybodies life`s perfect cos it`s not.When you`ve got your mojo back by all means challenge the judgement against you.Another thing is I allways think that someone who is self employed has the ability to think outside the box and the guts to stand on there own two feet so I know you have that strenth,ability and character to get you through.I think you said that you`re not on an IPA which is great as in my opinion is a farce that I will openly be posting about very soon(GRRRRRR).Most important thing is look after yourself and don`t let anybody judge you it`s only money(ask the Northern Rock!).

FIGHTBACK

Thanks Amnesty,for an entire year,the whole BR thing ate me up,it rolled on and on,one thing after another,cross questioning,made to feel like a criminal.Then the BRO was the final nail,just as I thought I was through the ordeal I was then smacked down again.To this day I'm still exhausted from it all and am considering ordering up some Prozac to give me a lift,it might be just what I need to give me that vital lift.

lilibet1

Oh dear what a pickle eh. My way of thinking would be that at least you know what your future is regarding the br. You know what has happened and you can if you want to put it behind you. Forgive me if im wrong, but are you saying you had a bro for using credit after BR? I may have got that wrong. Everyone of us has made mistakes, either on purpose or by accident. All i can say to you is that you didnt do anything wrong on purpose and you know that, it doesnt matter what anyone thinks. Go out there grasp life, see someone to help you if you need to and catch up with friends, join a group. Im starting a CAB volunteering course to try and put something back into something that is helping me. Why dont you do something similar. I hope this helps.

xxx