Working couples and housework

whatatwit

The actual cleaning by itself doesn't take long (honestly).
The time consuming bit is clearing all the carp away so you can the surfaces to clean.

Getting a cleaner doesn't solve the problem of putting stuff away or throwing it away.

MrsE_2

Penelope_Penguin wrote: »

In that case, have you looked at how much you each take home after work expenses (travel, work clothing, extra expenses for lunches, gifts for work colleagues, work lottery, etc, etc).

You might find that your post-expense hourly rate is such that your life will be happier and less stressful if one (or both ) of you goes PT

Just a suggestion; I'm lucky enought to work PT and love the time I have alone in the home :j

But apart from lunches you would still have all the other work expenses working part time:huh:
You may still have lunches too depending on hours.

MrsE_2

Snuggles wrote: »

I would love to do this! It's not an option for OH due to the nature of his job, but my employer is very flexible. I would love to go down to four days a week, I could use that day to get all the chores done, so that the weekend is entirely for me and OH to spend time together - that would be wonderful! I've just never seriously considered whether we could justify giving up that bit of income.

Are compressed hours an option?
5 days work over 4? Earlier start & later finish & minimum lunch break but 1 day a week free to do housework......

evil_grrrl666

I usually just lurk around on the forums but am compelled to answer on this thread...

Really? I'm the only one in a working couple who's stuck with the house work without help and hating it? I mean I love my husband dearly but he just refuses to help out.. he'll do the odd "manly" job like some heavy lifting, diy, etc. but that doesn't come up so often.. the old feminist "just make him/refuse to continue" type approach doesn't work at all.. I'd rather do it than have a big fight about it I suppose.

Anyway, back on topic

My time saving consists of:
- clean bathroom sink / toilet / shower while i'm in there anyway. Whenever I have a few minutes in the morning do one of the things
- do the weekly shop after work during the week. Saturdays are just soo busy I'd take forever and I hate queueing. Usually it's Tuesday as Monday evenings are very busy as well. I'd like to try online grocery shopping but I buy the meat from the (fresh) asian meat counter at Asda near my office. Don't think they sell that online.
- I have a steam press for the ironing - only just bought it so not fully used to it yet but since I can do it sitting down in front of the TV I don't hate it so much anymore, and it takes less time also. (Add to that I don't really iron anything except shirts so buying non iron shirts is a great way of reducing this time as well.. )
- Do bits of washing up that can't go in the dishwasher as I do the cooking (I have a table top one so all the pots and pans still need to be done manually).
- leave really dirty pans to soak overnight

And that's about it, reading and learning after having just discovered the flylady site...

artybear

evil_grrrl666 wrote: »

I usually just lurk around on the forums but am compelled to answer on this thread...

Really? I'm the only one in a working couple who's stuck with the house work without help and hating it? I mean I love my husband dearly but he just refuses to help out.. he'll do the odd "manly" job like some heavy lifting, diy, etc. but that doesn't come up so often.. the old feminist "just make him/refuse to continue" type approach doesn't work at all.. I'd rather do it than have a big fight about it I suppose.

A..

At the mo my OH works full time and I have just finished writing my MA dissertation. Whilst job hunting now, I take on about 70% of the chores and cooking but even then that is me making an effort to do it before my OH gets there. It just would not be accepted in this household that one person does more than the other if they were both working pretty much equal hours.

I dont buy into the concept that men 'cant' or 'wont' do housework and in fact with many of my friends who complain about their OH's not helping, it is because they themselves say men cant clean or cook and dont want them 'mucking things up'. Men are perfectly capable of looking after themselves and I personally think women belittle them so much they are then stuck in a role of being childish helpless creatures.

So to the lady I posted above I would have that argument and point out you are an equal person, it is not your duty to look after a man and everyone in a family should pull their weight.

*rant over*

To the OP I think organisation is the key, we tend to try and keep on top of things through the week, i.e tidying before bed and keeping on top of the washing. On Saturday mornings we have an hour of both blitzing the house, i.e clean bathrooms, deep clean kitchen, hoovering and dusting. Then we either go to the shops, or more likely online shopping. We also tend to batch cook at the weekend so that minimal cooking and washing up is needed in the week.

HTH:)

evil_grrrl666

artybear wrote: »

I dont buy into the concept that men 'cant' or 'wont' do housework and in fact with many of my friends who complain about their OH's not helping, it is because they themselves say men cant clean or cook and dont want them 'mucking things up'. Men are perfectly capable of looking after themselves and I personally think women belittle them so much they are then stuck in a role of being childish helpless creatures.

So to the lady I posted above I would have that argument and point out you are an equal person, it is not your duty to look after a man and everyone in a family should pull their weight.

The thing you say about belittling might be true in some cases, I've seen it happen, though not in our house! In fact if he did the cleaning etc. he'd probably do a better job than me.. He has done but it took a visit from his mother to vacuum the house to make it look nice for her..

Anyway I don't want to take over this thread, perhaps I should post my own about how to have the argument (been there, done that, always ends in tears and usually mine because nothing ever changes) I mean I don't care about breaking out of traditional roles for the sake of being some sort of "modern woman". But then I shouldn't be working. SO back on topic, working part time could be a great option for the OP if you can afford it.

heretolearn_2

It can be really hard but you just have to be realistic about what you can do.

OH leaves the house at 5am and gets home at 7.30pm Mon-Friday. And works 10-6/7 on Saturdays. I leave the house at 8am and get home between 6.30-8pm, and do about 3-4 hours on a Sat. Guess what. Other than cooking and loading up the dishwasher once, we do absolutely zero housework during the week. So what.

We do the laundry at the weekend, don't iron till we need it, it's not much effort that way. Bins are emptied every Saturday.

Other than that we just try to basically keep things a bit tidy. I'm the slobby messy one so I have a couple of small areas where I totally slob out (floor my side of the bed for example) but try to keep myself in check elsewhere.

And then once a fortnight we have two cleaners come in and blitz us for two hours (they are not through an agency, they are two local ladies who are friends) and it costs us £24 a go. Worth every penny! Get a cleaner if you can, kick OH !!! into gear about not making a mess, and try and relax and enjoy life a bit more. We do awful hours right now but it's not our whole life.

neas

it only takes 30 mins each day from both of you to tidy up a front room, and to make beds etc. So long as you keep things tidy while you live there i.e. not throw things on floor then its alot easier.

If you have no time for houswork.. what about general property maintenance oO as houses need to be repaired and upgraded time after time...

solongmarianne

I hhave a cleaner, who comes once a week for 3 hours, £21. she strips beds, washes, tumbles and re makes 2 beds, also whips round bathroom, hoovers throughout and polishes, and generally makes things look neat. this means on a weekend i can relax with my child and do the bare minimum of husework. Ok you may think you cannot afford to have a cleaner, but my time is precious and i cant "afford" not to have one. she comes on a friday, so its nice for the weekend. and I am by no means rich or well off, but I found if i cut out my glossy mags and my posh coffees on way to work, it covers her wages, a small price to pay for not being upto my eyeballs in washng at weekend xx

Snuggles

MrsE wrote: »

Are compressed hours an option?
5 days work over 4? Earlier start & later finish & minimum lunch break but 1 day a week free to do housework......

Yes, I could do compressed hours, and it's something I've given quite a bit of thought. My job is mentally very tiring, and I'm not sure how I would manage with longer days (and obviously even less time on an evening). There are also some weird rules around compresed hours which I do find off-putting, such as you end up owing time to the employer for bank holidays etc.

But the idea of having an extra day to get stuff done at home is very attractive, so I haven't ruled it out.