Buyers' Remorse not shifting

hedgehopper_2

Hi all

As you may have seen from my other posts, I'm trying to do all I can to get over the feeling that we made a mistake with our first purchase. It isn't working. It seems like we'll need to spend an obscene amount of money to make the place even close to what I'd be happy with, and even if we do, we still hate the area.

Before anyone has a go at me for making a stupid decision please don't because I do this to myself on a daily basis. We bought at a time when my partner and I had just had some very traumatic family news and I think we were more affected by it than we realised. It meant we didn't do as much researching as we should have done.

We also made the (in hindsight unwise) decision that many buyers do of choosing a less-nice area for more space. This has backfired on both fronts: the 'less-nice' area has turned out to be desolate, crime-ridden and depressing, while the space we thought we needed has proven too much for us; we can't even afford to furnish it properly.

I can't describe how depressed this is making me. We saw some very nice places in better areas for the same money that we rejected on the grounds of lack of space, and now it seems incomprehensible that we made this decision. I cry almost every time I come home.

The only way I can come to terms with this is to move on to 'phase 2' of our strategy and try and figure out what our options are if ANYTHING in terms of getting away, but I fear it's going to be impossible.

Can anyone please advise me on what to do? Is it ever possible to sell up very quickly and not end up penniless as a result? I am desperate to get out of this situation and prepared to lose something as long as we can live somewhere we don't hate?

We ploughed virtually all our savings into this place, but my only glimmer of hope is that we are actively quite keen to move somewhere smaller - anyone else done this and immediately down-sized? I think that is probably the only way out right now.

Thanks all

PS Please be gentle.

reissgirl

Sorry to hear your story. It sounds like putting it back on the market is your best bet and cutting your losses. How long was it on the market before you bought it?

pinkteapot

It'll be ok in the end, honestly. I know it's hard to see that now. I agree that based on what you've said here, it's sounding like selling may be the best option.

Whether you can sell it and not end up penniless depends entirely on what you can get for it. If you can sell for what you paid for it, you'll lose out on your selling and buying fees, removal costs etc. Only you know your finances; if you decide you definitely want to sell you need to work out what the minimum you'd be prepared to take for it is, and speak to some agents about whether that's feasible. Look at what you've got now in the bank, what the costs of selling will be (EA fee, mortgage redemption fee, solicitor...) and how much you need to walk away with.

If the area is that bad I'm not sure you want to spend all the time and money doing the house up. You can change the house however you want, but you can never change the location.

Would you consider selling and then renting? You can then take some time, deal with what's been going on family wise and get your finances straight again after this experience. And there's no danger of you rushing into another decision.

The only caveat I'd add to the above is... How long has it been since you moved in, and since the family news? I wonder if to some extent the way you're feeling is a reaction to the stress of dealing with what's been happening in the family and the stress of the house purchase process.

How does your other half feel about the place?

EDIT: Just seen that your first post about this was the 21st? You said there it's early days in the house. Not sure exactly when you moved in but the first month or so in our new place I was all over the place at times. Still getting that way a bit as we're now having work done and I want it over with. Moving is a BIG life upheaval and it takes time to settle down. Try giving it a few months there before deciding - it sounds like it's not been long at all(?).

mlz1413

I think you blaming the house and area for all your problems - you know you are depressed and believe that moving will resolving all your problems. Really? surely moving will just mean you are depressed in a different home and area.

I would write down all the things right and wrong with your life / home / work etc etc. Get your OH to do the same. Then discuss some of the big issues and best ways around them, talk to other people as well.

As all your outlook is very grime at the mo I would suggest maybe looking at moving out for a while, can you stay with family for a month so you don't go home and cry - maybe some time away could help?

smiler92

Hi There

I bought my current property about 5 years ago with my then partner. Having sold my previous house and then rented for approx 12 months - we looked around several properties - all in reasonable areas but all needing some degree of modernisation. They were all around the top of our budget but we could have slowly done the work ourselves but they all had generous size rooms and were in well liked areas. Each one I liked the look of - my ex decided it was either too much work or too much money blah blah blah. (I say this as I was the main breadwinnder and he had long periods of not working - not because he couldnt find work but he had a terrible back problem for someone so young lol)

Anyway we ended up buying a rabbit hutch in a good location but it didnt need much doing (in his opinion). Six months later we split up!

Anyway the point of my drivel is that 5 years later - I have never really felt at home here! I have re-done the kitchen/bathroom/plastering/flooring etc but the house is too small to do much with. There is no storage so I have to stack boxes in my bedroom etc

Things arent moving very quick at the moment in my area but I hope to be putting it on the market early next year.

If you can - I would seriously think about selling it - even if it takes a while to shift - at least you might see light at the end of the tunnel.

Good luck :beer:

Astara

It's difficult but I see you're in London and even if it's a not so good area it might become an up and coming area. When I moved into my flat I thought this street seemed dark and treeless, well it was December and then I got mugged in my street. It wasn't my first choice of area. Always loved my flat though and now I'm moving and really don't want to go. My area has up and come and now all I can see are all the trees...It often depends what frame of mind you're in. When you're in a negative frame of mind it will seem bleak and when you're feeling more positive you will see the benefits of more space.

jangor_2

I am so very sorry you find yourself in this predicament. I do hope that as it is early days for you, you will soon start to feel better about the house and not quite so overwhelmed and unhappy.

I am not sure my story will help or not but I moved out of my comfort zone and moved into an unknown area, having bought a house I genuinely thought would be right for me. Unfortunately on moving in day everything went wrong, chunks of plaster fell from the walls, the lights failed to work, the boiler broke down etc. etc. From my first day I took an instant dislike to the property but although I put the house on the market the following day I had no luck selling. I therefore decided to spend some money on the important issues, i.e. had the property rewired, replaced the guttering, had the boiler repaired and overhauled and painted every room cream. After a year I didn't feel any different and decided to rent the property, which I did for a short period, whilst renting myself. I then put the house back on the market (empty) and finally completed in August this year. Not sure this helps much at all but just wanted you to know that it does happen and this was my way of dealing with a house I disliked.

I do hope things work out for you.

hedgehopper_2

Astara wrote: »

It's difficult but I see you're in London and even if it's a not so good area it might become an up and coming area.

Thanks. Yup, our view while we were looking was 'it's in London, it's zone 2 and 10 minutes' to a tube; we'll never have trouble selling it' and I think there is some truth in that. We now realise that actually being further away from the tube would have been more pleasant, but lesson learnt I guess. What surprises me is that there are virtually no local amenities or shops closer than 15 minutes' walk (we don't drive) and tbh I didn't even think that was possible in London which was why I didn't research that too deeply.

It's also NEAR a trendy area and it is actually true that most of our neighbours are recently moved-in and (like us) were priced out of the nice bit. For that reason I do have some hope that the feel of the area will change and already has to some extent - we at least have nice, youngish neighbours who want to help improve the area.

Tbh, this is the main thing making us think we should stick it out a bit longer at the moment - having nice neighbours has been the one thing keeping us sane!


(don't want to say exactly where it is as I'm scared of identifying myself or offending others who live there!)

hedgehopper_2

mlz1413 wrote: »

I think you blaming the house and area for all your problems - you know you are depressed and believe that moving will resolving all your problems. Really? surely moving will just mean you are depressed in a different home and area.

Of course I'm depressed, but the new start that this should have been would have been enough to jolt me out of it, had we made the right decision on the place! (I know how my own mind works).

It was partly the move itself that made me depressed as I found it so unbearably stressful. So generally speaking I agree with you that I should probably wait until I'm on a more even keel before making any major decisions on this. But I fear that the 'bad decision' has put me in a place were I will simply be unable to beat the depression. I'm going to talk to my doctor about pills on Monday.

hedgehopper_2

jangor wrote: »

Unfortunately on moving in day everything went wrong, chunks of plaster fell from the walls, the lights failed to work, the boiler broke down etc. etc. From my first day I took an instant dislike to the property

You poor thing. This was actually very similar to what happened to us, and I think led to our 'instant' feeling of having made a mistake. The day we moved in, certain things in the house were not as they should have been (we are now actually in a legal dispute with the seller on top of everything else) and that made it almost impossible to feel positive about it.

[qupte]Not sure this helps much at all but just wanted you to know that it does happen and this was my way of dealing with a house I disliked.[/QUOTE]

Helps just to know you can empathise, so thanks. I'm really sorry to hear about your experience and really hope you're somewhere you like better now.

hedgehopper_2

pinkteapot wrote: »

Would you consider selling and then renting? You can then take some time, deal with what's been going on family wise and get your finances straight again after this experience. And there's no danger of you rushing into another decision.

Yeah, definitely. The stress of buying even without selling on top of that almost(?) caused me a nervous breakdown, so I would not want to ever be in the position of being in a chain.

Tbh, because I had never imagined being in this predicament, I don't really know what happens when you sell up and don't immediately re-buy. What would happen mortgage-wise if you didn't get what you paid for it? I think on top of everything else we paid too much for this place.

We have only been here a week, although we have had the keys longer.

My other half is less sensitive to the bad decor then I am, but agrees that the area is dreadful. Over all though I think he would much rather give things a go than I am so don't even know if moving is an option