Does your partner now EXACTLY what you owe?

elantan

i think if you have a plan of action sorted out then it will help confirm to him you are serious about tackling the problem..not just hoping he'll fix it ..i think you should tell him so many people on here have had weights lifted off their shoulders through telling

Mike_St_Helens

Mine dis and didnt.. Or chose not to... It was only one afternoon and I was bricking it.. yet again. andsaid thet.. 'we have NO money left now you know, nowhere..

It then dawned.

moozie_2

SkintMonkey wrote:

I've had lightbulb moments before (how many do you think one person can have?), but today was really the turning point for me.

Never again.....

I would be interested to know how you went about telling your other half, did you just sit them down and come out with it....?

Well, can I be the first one to congratulate you on getting there! It's not easy to reach that point of realisation and admit to yourself that you have been going wrong somewhere so well done from me! Bene there so know just how it feels

For me, the right time came when my OH started talking about buying our first place together. He was happily telling me all his plans, really excited on the prospect of us owning a place together (we rent at the moment) and being able to make it our 'own' with our taste. I just couldn't bear it and had to cut him up and tell him. Not the best timing but, if I had waited for that, I'd still be waiting now :rotfl:

Things have changed so much since then. We talk about money soooo much more and we have the same goals and aspirations. I hope things work out the same for you when you choose to tell your partner. Only you can decide the where and how though

Red_Fraggle_3

Being the person that wasnt told - isn't great :-( Sorry but I believe people don't say not because they don't want someone to be hurt they don't want the fallout - (sorry if any one thinks I'm judging I'm not - just know the feeling

SkintMonkey

I was just doing the washing and I suddenly thought that if I tell my hubby then that will probably help my spending no end. Although I'll hate this too, I imagine that once I tell him about my debt, he will be inclined (as anyone would) to take a closer interest in my spending and I can imagine a lot more of 'do you really need that' or 'can you afford it' - now he is so sweet he says, 'go on love treat yourself you deserve it'!

I will hate being monitored, but maybe that is what I need.

I know he will be so disapointed that I hadn't told him about this much sooner.

newleaf

My husband has no debts and is the model consumer, pays his CC every month and has savings. He is very savvy about money. I came into the relationship with huge debts that carried on getting bigger. He knew, and was never pushy, just quietly suggested I could get better deals elsewhere. I had my LBM in May and came clean about the extent of my debt, he wasn't at all surprised, and he has been hugely supportive. I know he could and would pay it all off tomorrow If I asked, but they are my debts and I will pay them off myself.

lightatendoftunnel?

It was my husband that helped me have my lightbulb moment and face up to the problem. I have been struggling for years attempting to sort it out. Nver wanted to bother him with it and just ended up making it worse. I had a terrible moment in May when i recieved a big bill i couldnt manage. My husband made me sit down and tell him every last penny. It was some of the hardest days of our relationship. But the relief and the support was well worth it. I have now faced up to my debt and moving forward in getting rid of it. It was the best thing i could have done although very scary at the time.

pms

I have been with my BF nearly 11 months and we live over 300 miles apart. The 1st time we spent more than 2 days together (December 2005) about 6 weeks after getting together, he opened up to me and told me he had been made bankrupt and didnt want to go into a relationship with me not knowing the truth. I just cried and then told him everything about my financial situation.

He has been nothing but supportive, we both have to watch our spending, it sound wierd but having someone in a similar situation as me has made us closer and he understands what I have gone through.

System

My wife knew it was a lot but we never added it up. What she didn't know however, was how it was eating away at me, how the debt occupied every single minute of every day.

frugglewump

I'm not sure.
I've told him, but I don't know if he remembers since I'm just left to get on with it.