Buyers' Remorse

hedgehopper_2

Couple of things!

(1) How do you know if it's genuine 'remorse' or just not settling in as quickly as you'd hoped/reaction to change?

(2) Does anyone here have any non-horror stories about making a real mistake with a purchase and either coming to love the place or moving on quickly without too much pain and suffering?

My partner and I mentioned the "r" word after dancing around it for some time last week, and we're hoping it's just early day nerves. I think our main regret is the commonest one of all (we realised too late we could have spent a lot less) but also has to do with the area; although we love the road itself and it is a nice 'enclave', we hate the surrounding bits and the only good thing we can find to say is that transport links are very good and you can get out quickly! (again not really such a trivial point, we picked the area initially due to ease and affordability of transport into work, which IS good)

Believe it or not, I am really trying to focus on the positives here.

But I'm struggling. Can anyone help? How long should we 'give it'? I should add that this is our first purchase and so we are still reeling at the sheer vastness of the sums of money involved, and the apparent lack or correlation between this and how (un)happy we are. We both rented quite late into life and I think got used to being able to live in nice areas with plenty to do - in this case it isn't worth 'looking around' for stuff locally - there simply isn't anything worth looking at closer than a 20 minute walk away (again not bad by many people's standards, but we're used to having it all on our doorstep).

Are we just spoilt people who need to get used to compromise?

Help!

poppysarah

Have you unpacked everything?
Have you both eaten lots of chocolate?
Have you had a house warming? (invite only friends who'll be nice about it - invite the honest gits later!)

hedgehopper_2

Hi Poppy - not really no, still very early days.

Big part of the problem is the amount of work that needs to be done and the fact that we need to buy quite a lot of furniture but can't afford to get it all in one blow-out, so it feels very empty and sparse. It'll take months at the very least. Yes, we budgeted for some furniture, but not everything the house will ever need.

I might get some chocolate in though.

poppysarah

Chocolate and a cup of tea. Taken at least once daily.
And look on freecycle for some furniture. There's some good stuff sometimes!

westlondonbuyer

Have you unpacked all your pictures, books, photos and ornaments? People usually leave these till last, whereas they're the first things you should put out as they're the things that personalise a place and make it *your* home, not just a box.

As soon as you can (obviously you need to recover some energy and spare cash after the move) try and repaint throughout - paint is relatively cheap and has an amazing effect on rooms and on your psyche.

If you can't afford to change your flooring for a while, buy rugs - if budget is an issue, Ikea is your best bet as ever - to cheer the place up. Again, floors are large expanses and changing them just a little bit makes the space feel instantly more cheerful.

Try to get to know your local area - every weekend, make it a project to try a new pub/takeaway/shop/park. I see you're in London: it's a great temptation to hang out in your usual haunts here, don't do it, try new places locally.

Every time you get a big, long build-up anything (buying your first home...getting married...retiring) there's a danger of anti-climax once the initial excitement wears off. Don't even think about moving on until you've spent at least a year in your new place.

When_is_the_reset?

We decided to buy a house well under the maximum we could afford. The house is nice and on a nice street but the wider area is not so good. Me and my wife did start to think that it may have been a mistake shortly after moving in but now (6 years later) we have had no problems at all and like the convenience of it.

But we do still have the 'shall we move' discussion and we probably will when the prices come down a bit (IMHO). Regretting the sums of money involved is the way it is with house prices now - just goes to show that you can rent in a nice area but have to buy in a cheap one.

I also think that every nice area seems to have a not-so-nice one close by. You need to spend a lot of cash to find a nice area away from everyone else!

rosyw

I really do feel for you! When we bought my current home I called in the day before completion to check a few bits and pieces, went back to the house we were leaving and sobbed! I HATED the new house, it was too small, too dark, etc., and I couldn't work out what I'd liked about it in the first place!! We decided to make the best of it for the time being and move on in a year or so. 22 years later I am still here, but selling up as OH has passed away (hopefully move in 3-4 weeks), and I LOVE the place. I will probably weep buckets the day I leave. We spent the first couple of years doing the place up how we wanted it, and by the time it was ready to sell on, we didn't want to leave. Just give yourself some time, get the feel of the place, sort out the furniture as and when you can, but give it a chance, you may be surprised! Good luck.

hedgehopper_2

Thanks guys. There are things I do love about the place - the house itself has the potential to be perfect for us once we've got it sorted but I suppose I hadn't really thought about life in the interim period while it is going to feel a bit shabby/cold/empty.

The whole problem with the area should be offset by the fact that we could get a 3 bed instead of a 1 bed for the same price, literally just one tube stop down the line. And given that I hope to have kids pretty soon, that's no small consideration.

I just have to keep focusing on these things!

RabbitMad

Empty rooms are great for "christening";)

hedgehopper wrote: »

And given that I hope to have kids pretty soon, that's no small consideration. !

Doozergirl

Ebay is amazing for furniture and if you are in London, it's even better because there is so much choice! If you see something you like in a shop you can put in the shop and the name of the item into ebay and it will come up.

I'm not worried about having second hand stuff at all and the thing with it anyway is that you go there with the cash, so if you don't like it, you don't take it - not that it's happened to me, I've been pleased with all my purchases. I have a proper designer sofa which cost £4500 new and I paid £500 for it. It's great Oh, and I have a John Lewis kitchen - ex-photshoot, luxury upgrade units it cost me £500 (which is the price of one unit!) Everything I buy for less allows me another beautiful object. I won't pay full price for anything - always searching for online codes even when I've seen stuff in a shop I will google to see if it's being sold cheaper elsewhere.

There's so much Ikea stuff it's unbelievable and a lot of it is less than a year old. I live in the middle of nowhere - it's all Ikea and Next furniture but there are really exciting pieces in London and even if you have to hire a van you can get a few bits in one day and still save a fortune.

Even if you put in 'table' and order it according to distance from your house and select 'used' items, you'll be surprised at what you find.

The project may take you some time to fix up the whole house but do keep going with it - little and often to keep your spirits lifted. And work on one room at a time so that there is at least one place you can be that is 'you' and then work your way around the house.

Bronnie

hedgehopper wrote: »

Hi Poppy - not really no, still very early days.

Big part of the problem is the amount of work that needs to be done and the fact that we need to buy quite a lot of furniture but can't afford to get it all in one blow-out, so it feels very empty and sparse. It'll take months at the very least. Yes, we budgeted for some furniture, but not everything the house will ever need.

I might get some chocolate in though.

It is early days!

Break the project down into manageable steps. Close the doors on the empty rooms for now and concentrate on making your bedroom and lounge warm , comfortable and welcoming places on a shoestring. My first priority was always to get my bedroom (sanctuary!) sorted.

Not " having it all" was the way most people started when I bought my first home, it's only been in recent past that FTB have expected to have a "show home" immediately. Use ebay locally and freecycle to pick up bits and pieces for your home at very little cost to tide you over and fill the gaps. With a bit of imagination you can work wonders.

I cannot emphasise enough, that in your position I would be doing this, rather than spending out , at this time. It would be much better to stash any spare cash/avoid spending on credit cards at this time and build up some savings.


ETA Cross posted with doozergirl!