Really struggling :-(

econnin

hey big bopper

try not to think about the people who have been on holiday. I work in the industry and I get soo jealous (i haven't been on holiday since 2006) but i soon get over it. I'd imagine most of them have put their holiday on the credit card!!
As you say, true love might come into your life again, and wouldn't you rather be debt-free, and be able to offer the lovely lady a secure, and happy, home? I'm concentrating on paying off my remaining debt in a year (it's gone down from £21k to £15k so far) and keep thinking how happy i will be in october 2011 with no debt and MY money to spend on a lovely holiday for me and my family!! Even then it'll be a budget holiday, as i am truely a money saver now!! Chin up lovely. Setting yourself goals will get you through it:) I enjoy seeing what I can achieve with a small spending budget. Have you checked your spending? Oh and i'm now a student, mum and work part-time with a hefty mortgage, my partner has an average wage, so if we can do it, anyone can:)

MrsTinks

There is nothing stopping you having a hols abroad if you want - but you have to budget for it and make sure it's within your means!
From time to time there are some amazing bargains for holidays in the sun if you can go VERY last minute and be flexible about where you do end up
The important thing is making sure you know what you can afford and sticking to it - if you think you can do that then nothing stopping you...
Could you get an extra job in a pub for a few nights a week and save up the money for a nice holiday and christmas treats for you and your son Or depending on your skills is it worth getting the quals for door work?

Percy1983

I had a budget holiday recently with the travelodge! in there sale I booked rooms all over scotland, in total it cost £185 for 9 nights, yes we used quite a bit in petrol but a boot full of clothes and pot noodles was a funny site. The best bit is its probably the best holiday I have ever had!

As other have said you have been thought a lot, just try and stay positive and keep looking forward.

Big_Bopper

Thanks guys. Am seriously thinking about a second job, but I did that once before and the impact on my homelife was MASSIVE. Always tired, never had time for anything, and the few extra £ after tax made it not worth it. Im hoping as xmas is just round the corner (YIKES!) I should get some more gigs, and that money will go straight to car fund, meaning car will be sooner, meaning more money can go on debt sooner etc. I may pop the tent in the boot and zip over to france in Spring, that should be fairly cheap...?
Ecconnin? How do you do it?!?!?! £15k in one year?! Whats the secret...??


Thanks again guys, im off to rehearse :-)

x

josiebabie

Didn't want to read and run BB. Just rest assured that your ex is probably not as happy/well off as you think. Not knowing the situation of your break-up I'm not going to comment too much on that, but if she is any kind of human she will be feeling as I do.

My ex and I broke up 3 months ago, I am in the house with our daughter (and our debts!!!) and he is in his new place talking about having absolutely NO money whatsoever. I don't have a huge amount of money, I don't go out, I only buy nessessities, I am desperately trying to show people I can do it on my own financially and with a smile on my face. In reality I am down about the whole thing, a mixture of old post natal depression rearing its head again and not wanting to bring my daughter up in a "broken" home.

To my ex it looks like I am living the high life in the house with my "new friends" and "new social life", really I am just lonely and so surrounding myself with distractions, and am hanging onto my cash for as long as possible rather than spending it. But it all goes in the end.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say here, but I guess i'm just kinda trying to say how it could be from the other side - where the grass is not quite as green as it looks.

econnin

hey BB

i think rewarding yourself with a camping hol for working hard and saving for your new car is a fab idea!

I pull every trick out of the bag that I can think of to repay my debt. It's pretty much the same as what other people on the site say:

I don't buy any branded food, and 95% of the time buy sainsbury basics food (it's good quality compared to other no frills products and just as cheap). With this I've managed to stay on a £30-40 per week budget for 2 adults and a toddler...
I make the most of any loyalty points or offers - eg days out for a birthday treat for someone paid by my clubcard rewards...
I sell anything i don't want or need anymore..
I have second hand clothes and toys off friends for my son...
I'm light -footed on the accelerator and check for the nearest, cheapest petrol...
I invite friends around rather than go out...
I'm a credit card tart (not an option for everyone, but i was lucky to have a few cards before i was made redundant)..
Hunt and hunt for cheaper insurance etc...
I don't buy any new clothes unless i need to..
I grow my own veg and cook my meals from scratch...
I limit myself to £5.00 per person for birthday / xmas pressies and keep any eye out all year round for a bargain...
We both work overtime...
And I keep a spreadsheet on excel which shows all our income and outgoings for the next 12 months, which i alter daily dependant on money i have saved or spent; along with a sheet with all my debts, the monthly payments and how long it'll take for them to be repaid by adjusting the amounts paid every month from my savvy savings.

I'm sure there's more obvious ones i haven't written here, but point is, it's not just one thing, you have to embrace MS as a philosophy in everything you do. If you don't have a steady income, which I'm not sure whether you do?, then yes - it is much harder, but i still think a 'forecast' of what you are going to pay and when, for the next few months, will really benefit you and help you take control.

Good luck my friend.

Big_Bopper

Thanks econnin, some v useful stuff here.

Thanks Josie, a hugely interesting email. Thats how it seems with my ex-loads of new things, a busy lifestyle, whilst I seem to have nothing. I feel humbled by your post, as its the mirror image of my situation-the other side of the coin. Maybe you are right, and things arent all rosey, but it just appears that way, as anything else would be a sign of weakness? Please, do not worry about a "broken home" scenario. Just make sure your daughter knows that you and her daddy love her, and none of this is her fault. Thats all I can do with my son...

Sigh.....

Big_Bopper

Well! Been a while since I was on here.

Quick update for you all:
I was made redundant for the second time in 2 years in February, so am now temping for a while, until I get something permanent. I have informed CCCS, and they refunded 1 months payments (yay!) to help out, and I have to keeb them informed all the way (as I normally do). Im feeling a bit low lately, as DFD seems so far away still, and every step forward results in a step back. The week I was made redundant, a DD went out of my account the day before money went in, and my bank have just introduced a new charging system (GUTTED, £35 charge.), so next month is already £35 worse off :-(

I bought the new(er) car, as mine practically died (I used every last penny, sold my old one on ebay and went without for a bit) but at least I have a reliable car for a new job *crosses fingers*.

Still back at my parents, but if a new job etc happens, then I will be looking to move this year.

Other than that, my son is great, and life is ticking on.....


BBx

MilneBay

Hi BB

Bad news about the redundancy but you sound like you're taking steps to keep everything under control which is an achievement in itself.
Just wanted to say don't write off the camping with your son. As kids we never went abroad (was in my 20s before that happened!) but we did benefit from going away at least six times a year in a tent - even if just for a long weekend. You don't have to go far from home to enjoy a totally different atmosphere and my mum used to say it was cheaper to take us away camping than to pay for a day out.
My happiest childhood memories are definitely those camping holidays - even when it rained - still makes me smile when I think about splashing about a little Welsh seaside village - me and my sister in matching wellies and macs!
I know money is tight but you could have a really good experience your son will remember forever for less than the cost of a trip bowling/to the cinema and it would give you something to look forward to.

MB

Big_Bopper

MilneBay wrote: »

I know money is tight but you could have a really good experience your son will remember forever for less than the cost of a trip bowling/to the cinema and it would give you something to look forward to.

MB

Thanks so much. You are spot on, and I will defo take him camping when it warms up. A few days in a tent with him away from it all is just what I need