Really struggling :-(

Big_Bopper

Hi all, I posted on here in Spring (cant find the post though!) and I just thought id update you. I started a DMP through the cccs in Feb, and my DFD was 6 years from then. My back story is all too familiar (redundancy, new house, child) and after some drastic changes, life started to get back on track. I had to sell my Pride and Joy m/bike, keep patching up the car/house, and keep plugging away at the debts. At Easter I proposed to my gf and she said yes. Finally life was coming together....

We have since broken up (very long story, but needless to say it still hurts). I am back at my parents for now, and theoretically should be better off, but im really not. I feel bitter because my ex seems so much better off now ive moved out, and although I want my child to be secure etc, I feel like I have lost everything.

I give my parents money, my ex money, and the rest goes on CCCS, bills, and whatever is left over goes in a savings account for a new car (hopefully next Feb/March).

With Xmas round the corner, Im already starting to feel depressed, and I have the urge to just blow my savings on a hol (havent been away since Jul 08) or a new m/bike.

Any support out there for me...?

:(:(:(:(:(

So_Sad_Angel

Hi BB

Hang on in there Hun....sounds like you are doing all the right things & this is a period of readjustment of the finances. Breakups happen & it takes time & rebuilding your life to get yourself back into the `looking forward` mindset.

Its good that you have a goal of a new car...maybe a saving diary will motivate you & save you from blowing it on a holiday.

Have you anything to sell off on ebay or boot sales?. It all adds up.& serves to take you mind off whats has happened in the past so that you can concentrate on today & the future.

I`m not much help LOL & I`m sure proper clever DFW`s will be along soon & offer better support.

Take care & good luck

Angie

leeb79

Just keep doing what you are doing, it will get better with time I promise! Might seem to you like I don't know what I'm on about but there will come a point where your finances will start to feel really under control and the mist will lift, it's just unfortunately not yet and won't happen for a good while. No pain no gain I'm afraid!

Got to ask though, can you afford the new car? Would it not be better to put that money towards paying off your debt? - and if you feel you need a holiday why not have a cheap holiday in this country (by cheap I mean camping e.t.c.!) :rotfl:

hippychick1

Have you phoned CCCS regarding your new situation? It may be beneficial to change your monthly payment to them. I had to do this when I split up from my husband. My payment was almost halved. It means it will take longer to clear, but things are not so tight now.
Hope this helps
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Big_Bopper

Thanks Angie, you really put a smile on my face, mainly because you called me "hun" lol.
How does a saving diary work?
Im pretty much ebayed out, just a few small odds and ends.
Thanks Leeb, the car had become an essential spend, not a luxury. I need it for work/my child etc, but my current car is now on its last legs, and next MOT will be ££££££££ to get through. Im just getting a slightly newer, slightly less miles car, nothing fancy.
I went camping for 3 days with my child and it rained solidly for 3 days. We had an ace time, but it doesnt help the old SAD (which I think we all get from time to time). All my friends/family are coming back from sunny hols, and quite frankly, im jealous :-(

Thanks Hippychick, I havent yet, because I was worried they would increase my payments-as I said, I SHOULD be better off, but somehow im not. Im aiming for new year. Feb/Mar get car, phone CCCS and do review, then look for somewhere to live on y own :-(


Thanks guys
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romylou_2

Hi BB

Stay positive, you have done it once and you can do it again!! Its just taking baby steps, but I have no doubt that you will get back on your feet in no time.

thedeans

don't worry - your not the only one who suffers with the green eyed monster - i too keep getting jealous of friends - in my case its new this, new that - I'm now saving up for a hot holiday in 5years time - a long way off I know but I keep looking at my little pot and smiling - its the first thing i've saved for for years - and I spend 5 mins planning what i'll do, what the kids will say when i tell them etc etc

I know its not the same as going here and now - but hey ho - thats life - you can be happy that your child is being cared for - something you are contributing to - and that you are saving for a new mode of transport - pat yourself on your back for that

you are doing sooo much - time to remind yourself how far you've come i think:)

ms_london

Hey.

Are you paying the full amount to cccs or is your ex paying half too? I would certainly contact them again and let them know of your change in circumstances. Even though you are living at your parents for the time being they still need to take into account the cost of rent and other living costs...... Perhaps post a revised SOA on here and we can give you a bit more advice.

Sorry to hear that you are a bit down at the moment and you have been through a lot!

xx

Big_Bopper

Thanks people-glad im not the only one....

Im still paying full CCCS amount as its just my debt. Had a gig last night-that paid my petrol for the week :-)

ms_london

That's good, well done!

I do still think that you need to contact CCCS as your circumstances have changed quite considerably, and they won't increase your payments as they will need to take into account you needing to put a roof over your own head and the associated costs and also the costs of supporting your child etc.

I think everyone suffers from the green eyed monster at some point but we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, some people may appear to have it all, but they might be up to their eyeballs in debt. At the end of the day material objects don't really matter, its about people you love and your friends and family. Wow, so deep for a Sunday morning ;0)

xx

Big_Bopper

You are so right ms london.

A good friend of mine was recently complaining how skint he is-just before buying a new car, getting his flooring done and having a holdiday in America.......how the other half live eh?!?! But as you say, there may be all sorts of stuff I dont know. Yes, I have debt, but im dealing with it :-)

Will call CCCS

And yes, family is so important. Who knows? Maybe true love will even come into my life again one day...? (sigh)


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