panic time

Mirtos

sultry33 wrote:

his dream was to own a skyline since he was 19,

So why not look at it as 'wow', 'I've done that now. How cool. What's my new dream gonna be?' Then he can sell the car, and look forward, not back. It's a very expensive toy, and I think there are many more worthwhile dreams he could find for himself.

mrslawrence2003

sultry33 wrote:

mm yea i see what you are saying but its done now, we had chat about the car a good 6 months back, and it was wait and save for modifications or go for it and then get consilidation loan, so guilty of living for the here an now.
unfortunantly he did not get loan.. or fortunantly as to be honest it would have been worse debt. i dont think he knew just how much debt he was in.. lesson learnt.

his dream was to own a skyline since he was 19,

it does seem that whilst he has got his dream,he didn't get there through his own hard work and money but instead got there by borrowing that which he couldn't afford and now it's time to accept the responsibility of his actions by paying off his debts as best he can, he's only prepared to go so far and do so much. surely if he were truly committed to clearing his debt and paying back what he owed, he would get on and sell the car. people on here who have huge amounts of debt give up pretty much everything to get themselves out of their situation - incl things they love and want very much because they are committed to remedying their problem. sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and accept it. unfortunately !!!! happens.

Richard_S

Al_Mac wrote:

He has debt, sorry it isn't his car, sell it!

Sounds to me Al Mac as though you've never owned a decent car.

System

I can kinda sympathise, I used to drive a nice scooby. However, it dawns on you after a while, that although its fun and everyone wants to be you, the £35 fuel for 180 miles, isnt particularly good. Thats why ended up selling it.

I don't think payplan would look favourably on a £250ish fuel bill a month to feed a high power supercharged/turbocharged car.

The longer he keeps it, the more in debt he will get because it comes down to the fact that, at THIS time in his life, it is beyond his means. Thats not to say he can't have another one soon, just not now.

He really has few options. As I see it he can

a) sell the car, get rid of some of the debts, and therefore make a nice saving on the compound interest that is accuring DAILY on the car or

b) Wait until he goes bankrupt and has it sold from under him for pennies in the pound of its true value.

I do sympathise, having beent there, but hes gotta realise that he is doing himself no financial favours by hanging onto it.

Mirtos

13000 wrote:

everyone wants to be you

hmmm. I dont.

Kevicho

Sell the car!

if your fella is commited to becomming debt free he will be willing to make this sacrifice.

Hobies are one thing.

living and being financially secure is a different thing entirely.

dougk_2

I would sell the car - they only drop in value as they get older!

And as you both get older you will get bored of the car and want to move onto other things , so why not get as much back as you can?

Unfortuinately when you don't have the cash you can't have the dreams.

Murtle

please get your OH to do a SOA so we can look see what's being spent on what, what you are prepared to sacrifice and what you're not (you and OH). I know you said you can't do it, but get OH to do it and then see what offers can be made.

CFC

Sultry 33, if you love him more than he loves his car, then help him to let go of it.

It's his only dream and he wants to live the dream. Fine, he can do it again when he can actually afford it. Unless he's 90 with a dodgy ticker, so isn't going to live long enough to experience it again?

Most people have a dream. Lots of people would like to live their dream but understand that right now they can't afford it. Neither can he.

Of course it's hard on you to see him suffer sadness by giving it up, but you're not really helping him sort himself out if you're too soft. He needs some Tough Love, ie based on what's ultimately best for him, rather than on emotion. And being out of debt is best for anyone....

QueenB.

If he is serious about paying of his debts he should sell it.

I know it is difficult but the reality is he can't afford it right now but once he is debt free he can start again.

We all have dreams but either we can't afford them or we get further into debt to pay for them and once that LB moment has kicked in you find new dreams and goals to work towards.

i love to travel, actually it is, aside from my family, the thing i am most passionate about. I have lived abroad alot and enjoy going to new places every year but the reality is i can no longer afford it and as much as it hurts, really hurts, i distract myself by planning all the places i will be able to see in a few years without debt hanging over my head.