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Anxiety about labour

2

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  • Jo - would you have a home birth? Maybe being on your 'own' territory would help you. Really I love G&A, I want it legalised for home usage. HeHe.
    MF aim 10th December 2020 :j:eek:
    MFW 2012 no86 OP 0/2000 :D
  • Jo_R_2
    Jo_R_2 Posts: 2,660 Forumite
    LilacPixie wrote: »
    Jo - would you have a home birth? Maybe being on your 'own' territory would help you. Really I love G&A, I want it legalised for home usage. HeHe.

    This one is planned to be a home birth yes. I have a real feeling that being in my home, in my space, free to move around and labour where I want, how I want, would really help. With having such long gestations though, something has always not been quite 'right' to make a HB so low-risk thus not being able to have had one so far (although have been planned), it's like being so close yet so far because my MWs say I labour so well I'd be ideal for a HB apart from going so far over!

    LOL about G&A, I always try it but find biting on the nozzley bit seems to help more than what's coming out of it!:rotfl:
    Dealing with my debts!
    Currently overpaying Virgin cc -
    balance Jan 2010 @ 1985.65
    Now @ 703.63
  • janninew
    janninew Posts: 3,781 Forumite
    I know just how your feeling! I'm due in Feb and I'm dreading it :(

    I don't cope with pain well and hate hospitals and needles, I'm a nightmare patient! I remember having my first in February and I was screaming at my DH, I was scared to death! Luckily I had a wonderful midwife who calmed me down and explained what the pains were and that I was getting closer to meeting my baby with every pain I had.

    Not sure what I'm trying to say, but I can understand all your fears completely, I think as its your 4th baby, people may think your an old pro now and don't need as much support, obviously you do and you need to discuss your feelings with your midwife.

    I really hope it goes well for you, and any other nervous mums to be! :)
    :heart2: Newborn Thread Member :heart2:

    'Children reinvent the world for you.' - Susan Sarandan
  • Wow Jo I could have written that whole post myself.
    I now have four children and for what its worth im done now :rotfl:

    I was fine with my first three, nothing to write home about in the pregnancy and births but with #4 I was absolutely climbing the walls becoming more anxious with each week.
    I was terrified of the birth being too fast, losing control, being alone when it started not to mention the pain :(

    I spoke to my midwife who gave me a copy of a birthing cd hypno thing so I didnt have to buy one but that didnt do much for me.
    I saw my gp who said I should speak to my consultant etc

    I attended the antenatal clinic so many times in tears begging for a c section which eventually they agreed to do at 39 weeks (have never reached past 39 weeks in any pregnancy) and as it happened I had gone to antenatal clinic thinking I was in labour- nothing happenening so they asked me to go home.I refused explaining I was in a real state with anxiety and everything so they admitted me to keep an eye out as I was adamant baby as coming soon :D

    Consultant came to see me on the ward a few hours after admitting me and agreed to move the c sec forward to the next morning at 38+1....

    Long story short I went into natural labour within 20 mins of the consultant leaving and I gave birth in theatre, under a spinal after refusing a c sec and begging the midwife and consultant not to leave me :rotfl:
    If I would have known it would happen like that I would never have worried about it- it was the best birth ever.Full control, no panic, consultant and anaesthetist holding my hands and both me and baby were fine :)

    Definitely speak to your midwife Jo, you wont be the first or the last woman to feel this way and talking about your worries really helps.
    Are you far from the hospital? Do you have someone on hand to look after your little ones?

    I think if you get together a list of your worries, sit down with your OH or midwife and go through them you should be able to find a solution that will ease your fears.

    Best wishes sweetheart, youre not alone and you will both be ok.
    In a few weeks youll be sat cuddling your newborn and youll have all this worry behind you.
    Take care
    Mumof4 xx
    03/12/2010 [STRIKE]£9,736.56[/STRIKE] :(
    15/2/2011 9878.75

  • Jo_R_2
    Jo_R_2 Posts: 2,660 Forumite
    Wow Jo I could have written that whole post myself.
    I now have four children and for what its worth im done now :rotfl:

    I was fine with my first three, nothing to write home about in the pregnancy and births but with #4 I was absolutely climbing the walls becoming more anxious with each week.
    I was terrified of the birth being too fast, losing control, being alone when it started not to mention the pain :(

    I spoke to my midwife who gave me a copy of a birthing cd hypno thing so I didnt have to buy one but that didnt do much for me.
    I saw my gp who said I should speak to my consultant etc

    I attended the antenatal clinic so many times in tears begging for a c section which eventually they agreed to do at 39 weeks (have never reached past 39 weeks in any pregnancy) and as it happened I had gone to antenatal clinic thinking I was in labour- nothing happenening so they asked me to go home.I refused explaining I was in a real state with anxiety and everything so they admitted me to keep an eye out as I was adamant baby as coming soon :D

    Consultant came to see me on the ward a few hours after admitting me and agreed to move the c sec forward to the next morning at 38+1....

    Long story short I went into natural labour within 20 mins of the consultant leaving and I gave birth in theatre, under a spinal after refusing a c sec and begging the midwife and consultant not to leave me :rotfl:
    If I would have known it would happen like that I would never have worried about it- it was the best birth ever.Full control, no panic, consultant and anaesthetist holding my hands and both me and baby were fine :)

    Definitely speak to your midwife Jo, you wont be the first or the last woman to feel this way and talking about your worries really helps.
    Are you far from the hospital? Do you have someone on hand to look after your little ones?

    I think if you get together a list of your worries, sit down with your OH or midwife and go through them you should be able to find a solution that will ease your fears.

    Best wishes sweetheart, youre not alone and you will both be ok.
    In a few weeks youll be sat cuddling your newborn and youll have all this worry behind you.
    Take care
    Mumof4 xx

    I think your post mumoffour outlines what I am hoping will be the case with me - you create something HUGE in your mind, it gets so massive that in reality the chances are it will never be quite as bad as you'd imagined.

    I keep thinking of the positives I have going for me... Have spontaneously laboured 2 out of 3 times so far, one being three weeks over (kinda proves to me my body naturally 'gestates' for longer and I'm not wrong for waiting it out.) Reasonably short labours - DD1 all in all 7 hours, DD2 and DS two hours from breaking waters to being born. No complications during labour - worries about DD2's placenta calcifying were unfounded as it was fine, and the apparent lack of fluid around DS was absolutely crazy as there was loads of the stuff!

    I also keep thinking of equivalents of time in labour - like, all two hours is is just the gap between, say, eating lunch and then picking up DDs from school, or a slow walk around the supermarket to do the weekly shop (oh joy!) A longer natural birth might be the time it takes to usher DDs off into school until they finish, or between teatime and bedtime... You get the idea but basically outlining in my head that chances are things will happen in what I usually perceive to be super-manageable chunks of time.

    Anyhow, everyone's posts have made me feel better in some way so thankyou:)
    Dealing with my debts!
    Currently overpaying Virgin cc -
    balance Jan 2010 @ 1985.65
    Now @ 703.63
  • Two hours is nothing. its like Emmerdale, coronation street, eastenders then coronation street again on a monday.
    MF aim 10th December 2020 :j:eek:
    MFW 2012 no86 OP 0/2000 :D
  • I have no more helpful advice I'm afriad but just wanted to wish you all the best for the birth :) I'm sure it will all be great for you though.

    I had a planned homebirth when my baby was born in February and unfortunately he turned mid-labour so I ended up in hospital but I was so glad I had laboured at home and the birthpool I bought was AMAZING and I would highly recommend them. Mine was a birthpool in the box one and it really, really helped with the pain. I just had G&A and the pool at home.

    Good luck :)
  • clairehi
    clairehi Posts: 1,352 Forumite
    Perhaps it would help to have a "debrief" of your previous birth experiences to work through what happened. your m/w should be able to advise how to arrange this.
  • Firstly im so sorry for what your going through, sounds like your hormones are having a feild day! with all the complications you have had previously its only natural that you would have this reaction about a homebirth. if i were in your position i would consider having a hospital birth where you know if there are any complications there is lots of help at hand and maybe making this decision will take away some of the immense pressure you are putting yourself under. you can always just start at home and see how you go from there try not to get too hung up on your plans just go with the flow.

    i agree with a earlier post that said having a elective c section may not be the smartest move with 3 other children having had one myself the recovery is much longer.

    hope you feel yourself again soon
    lea xx
  • mrcow
    mrcow Posts: 15,170 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    LilacPixie wrote: »
    Two hours is nothing. its like Emmerdale, coronation street, eastenders then coronation street again on a monday.


    If only.

    Mine was more like watching Cash in the Attic on loop - you know, when you would really, really, really like to punch someone........;)
    "One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
    Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."
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