Its all a huge mess and I just cant cope.

MFWannabe

stelly wrote: »

Ok here goes.

Feeling extremely sick and very ashamed.

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 400 Average
Partners monthly income after tax....... 300 His wage so far
Benefits................................ 38.49 Child tax credit
Other income............................ 81.20 Child benefit
Total monthly income.................... 819.69

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 182.5
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 302.6

Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 3
Council tax............................. 118
Electricity............................. 65
Gas..................................... 29
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 13.50
Mobile phone............................ 5
TV Licence.............................. 12.29
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 59 This is sky,phonebill and internet - You need to cut this to minimum package; at least until your OH has found full time employment and the dets are looking more manageable
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 25 - Can you make do with what you have for now?
Petrol/diesel........................... 150
Road tax................................ 0 It is due this month and was going to be paid with OH's Birthday money
Car Insurance........................... 0 Paid until March 2011
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 15 - What is this for?
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 29.75 Building and contents - Shop around on comparison sites and see if you can get it cheaper
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 20.17
Other insurance......................... 25.54 Mortgage Insurance
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Boiler Insurance........................ 16.50 - You need to get rid of this
Sky Insurance........................... 7.75 - You need to get rid of this

Total monthly expenses.................. 1279.60

Assets
Cash.................................... 1500
House value (Gross)..................... 85000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1000
Other assets............................ 1500
Total Assets............................ 89000

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 35000....(182.5)....0
Secured Debt.................. 27703....(302.6)....0
Total secured & HP debts...... 62703.....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Loan 1.........................488.02....54.97.....0
Loan 2.........................413.5.....36.44.....0
Credit Card 1..................2965.05...59........0
Sister.........................940.......80........0
Overdraft......................1660......20........0
Catalogue......................614.94....65........0
Credit Card 2..................4484.32...110.......0


I have tried to put all I can think of.

I dont know the interest rates for anything :o:o.

Please give me any advice, harsh included.

Hi
You've made the first step by coming on here. I have posted some comments above. You also need to find out what the APR's are for your debts.
You need to sit your OH down and show him your soa and explain to him (as calmly as possible) the situation and this is why you cannot understand why he is turning down any offer work; that he has to accept anything while he continues to look for something he wants to do. You also need to check if you are getting all the benefits you are entitled to; you could well be entitled to more; ask OH to check while you're out working

I hope this helps.

stelly

Thanks for all the replies and suggestions.

I showed my OH this thread and maybe him seeing it all in black and white has been the wake up call (kick up the bum) he needed.
He is acting really sheepish.

He has just phoned an old employer and been offered an assessment on Monday which if he passes they will start him working on the Tuesday.

It's not somewhere he wants to go back to but he's seen that this can't go on and is prepared to stick it out until he's gets another job.

I don't want to be too optimistic but will hold back from getting in touch with the loans and cc's until Tuesday to see if he gets the job.

If not at least I have the first steps to begin dealing with it and that we won't automatically lose the house which is my greatest fear.

To answer some of the comments above -

Runningman -
Petrol - amount is so high as he did do some agency work and it involves driving to different depots which can be quite far away. I wanted to put a realistic amount in case he took more work.
Sky - This will just have to cancelled.
Electric - Our DD wasnt enough before so this is paying back the arrears as it's just been reviewed.
Boiler - It was already in the house when we moved in so at least 8yrs old.

Freez -
Sky - as above
Clothes - I only put this in as had to get school uniform for DS. I havent had any for a while now..
Other child related expenses - This is for DS's school lunches, he has a mixture of school and packed lunches.
Building and contents - We have a non traditional built house and so I need to get my finger out and contact a broker as many people wont insure it.
Other insurances - agree with what you've said. It's one of my "things" that I like to have insurance for as much as i can, needed or not.

We can't go on like this anymore.

So please keep up the suggestions coming of where I can claw some money back to shove to the debt.

Also how you managed to keep yourself sane while doing it and without feeling so alone.

sammy115

Definitely ring the tax credit people up. Look at your earnings over the last few weeks and see if the average is 16 hours or more.

You need all the help you can get. Its no time to be proud.

Is your OH claiming job seekers allowance or anything...

roberts516

Chin up I think we all can identify what you are going through. This is my first week on here and have been feeling abit more hopeful that debt can be sorted out thanks to reading all the advise.
For years I have always managed the bills etc and have tried to protect him if that is the right word from stuff like that he was never interested. Any problems I kept to myself. I have since discovered he was earning more than I was lead to believe! and he had money in the bank !! He knew about the debts but wasnt really supportive, just tried to hide I guess. He always said we are in this together but I always felt it was my problem and I would sort it,but I cant. So yesterday I decided to take control, I marched him down to the bank told him we are in this together! and told him to take some money out to pay one of our debts ! he didtnt look to happy but I was able to nearly pay one debt off. Its a start. Now im looking at all my Direct Debits, Sky I dont need so it is going add that up over the year it all adds up. I know Im not much help but you will work it out
hope you are ok look after yourself

MFWannabe

stelly wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies and suggestions.

I showed my OH this thread and maybe him seeing it all in black and white has been the wake up call (kick up the bum) he needed.
He is acting really sheepish.

He has just phoned an old employer and been offered an assessment on Monday which if he passes they will start him working on the Tuesday.

It's not somewhere he wants to go back to but he's seen that this can't go on and is prepared to stick it out until he's gets another job.

I don't want to be too optimistic but will hold back from getting in touch with the loans and cc's until Tuesday to see if he gets the job.

If not at least I have the first steps to begin dealing with it and that we won't automatically lose the house which is my greatest fear.

To answer some of the comments above -

Runningman -
Petrol - amount is so high as he did do some agency work and it involves driving to different depots which can be quite far away. I wanted to put a realistic amount in case he took more work.
Sky - This will just have to cancelled.
Electric - Our DD wasnt enough before so this is paying back the arrears as it's just been reviewed.
Boiler - It was already in the house when we moved in so at least 8yrs old.

Freez -
Sky - as above
Clothes - I only put this in as had to get school uniform for DS. I havent had any for a while now..
Other child related expenses - This is for DS's school lunches, he has a mixture of school and packed lunches.
Building and contents - We have a non traditional built house and so I need to get my finger out and contact a broker as many people wont insure it.
Other insurances - agree with what you've said. It's one of my "things" that I like to have insurance for as much as i can, needed or not.

We can't go on like this anymore.

So please keep up the suggestions coming of where I can claw some money back to shove to the debt.

Also how you managed to keep yourself sane while doing it and without feeling so alone.

By posting on here!!! There's some lovely people on here; most of them going through the same thing (or have been)

KiKi

Hi Stelly

I couldn't read this and run; I really felt for you. Re the staying sane and not feeling alone, one thing I do (and it sounds terribly obvious and very silly, but...!) is set myself a task list each week, and assign tasks to each day. And then when I achieve them and can tick them off my list I feel so proud and a sense of achievement that I've done it! Plus, it helps me to be organised. I set aside my budget for food and entertainment every week (which isn't much!) and if I manage to save a couple of quid at the end of the week I am now over the moon! It becomes a really fun challenge to manage within the budget each week, and when I succeed I feel like I've beaten myself into first place!

Sad, perhaps! But it keeps me organised, sane, and motivated, and it's great to tick something off a list rather than have everything swimming in my head. It feels like things are getting better and getting done.

Keep posting on here; people will be very helpful.

KiKi

mostlycheerful

You could consider going on the dole if working is not coming together, about nearly 3 million people in Uk are on benefits and if the work isn't happening, well, what's the alternative?

concerned43

Please - before phoning Tax Credits get down to the CAB who will do a benefit check for you!!!

stelly

It's still a huge mess but I'm going to cope !!!!


I've just come back from a long walk with just my mp3 player and think I've found a bit of myself that's been missing for a long time - optimism.

Earlier I was reading a thread on the loan section from someone with huge debts and a partner who was unwilling to accept any responsibilty or help them deal with it and felt so sorry for them.

I started thinking about this when I was walking and it really made me open my eyes to how much i've been letting the debt affect so much of my life and emotions.

I don't have much money and can't do a lot of the things I would like but compared to the poor person in that thread, I'm rich.

I have a husband who I wouldn't change for anything and vice versa.
We have a DS who is such a happy child and great fun to be around.
We have a roof over our heads and food on the table and a family that will always be there for us.

It's really put things into perspective for me.

I'm going to use my first post on this thread as a reminder to not let things become so entangled and deal with them before it's gets to that point again.

I'm determind that I'm going to control this debt and no longer let it control me.

Short term I can't do anything until OH gets a new job but I can start working on a plan of action.

I'm going to go hunt out the paperwork for the debt and find out the interests rates and then I'm hoping you will be able to give me advice on what to work on first.

Thanks for everything so far.

Stelly xx

isy1011

Work out a weekly budget. Write down exactly what you are spending. Show him it. At the end of the week total up what you have spent on food, clothes whatever. Study it think how you could cut it back. Compare it with last weeks. Set yourselves targets then at least you will feel achievement when you get to them. The minute you have a plan you will feel better.