Its all a huge mess and I just cant cope.

isy1011

hello Stelly,

Sorry about the situation.

Is he suffering from depression at all? Is there any chance of you getting a few hours work and him doing the stuff you do at home. My DH and I did this for a while when work wasnt forthcoming for him. Im not sure of your situation though.

DGJsaver

isy1011 wrote: »

My DH and I did this for a while when work wasnt forthcoming for him. Im not sure of your situation though.

Well , part of the `situation` was as she explained , her OH has been turning down work....?

stelly

NorthernLas wrote: »

Stelly - Practical suggestions, there is no point feeling sick and ashamed it does not help.
You need to find a was to get OH to 'help' you with this situation. I am sure he very much regrets what happened, but the situation is not hopeless.

You need to encourage him to take any work available - it will help financially, but it will help him if he keeps busy.

1. Focus on getting enough together to pay your essential bills - this looks like roughly £700 + £200 (food).
2. Your SOA says you have £1500 in cash, is it available to help pay essentials (maybe 2 months worth?)

Yes.
£600 - is what we have in our bank account
£400 - is in another account and was supposed to pay for DS's birthday and things that need fixing on the car.
£500 - was supposed to be going to my sister to pay her back but she's told me just to keep it until things are in a better situation.

3. If your overdraft account is where your wages go, you need to set up a new bank account (co-op cashminder) and get your wages/benefits paid into it.

Do i transfer the mortage direct debit to this account?

4. To make the essentials buffer go as far as possible, I would suggest that you need to stop DD to credit cards and loans and write to them explaining you are taking financial advice.

Does this also include the secured loan as I'm really worried that they would make us sell the house?

There will be lots more, but if you get essential bills covered in the new account, you are doing your best.
I also think speaking with CCCS for practical advice would be very helpful (or CAB if you want to speak face to face).

I think it is worth speaking to benefits if you think you might average 16 hours a week, you have nothing to lose.

p.s. You are right about not being his Mum, can you keep emphasising that you and him need to work together to get this sorted. If he thinks you are shouldering the lot and telling him what to do, he may behave like a petulant teenager.

Thank you so much for this.

I'm feeling a little calmer (my sister popped in with cake and the above offer to not pay the £500 back just yet).
She arrived mid crying session and I found it very hard to suck up my pride and admit the whole mess but it needed to be done.

Do tax credits work it out that it has to be exactly 16hrs or could it be a monthly average.

I will contact CCS as suggested as I don't know what to say to the creditors.

isy1011

Yes I can see that but it may be that he is depressed. This was how depression presented itself to someone who was close to me. That may not be the reason. He may just be a lazy get but sometimes the problem lies deeper.

tallyhoh

Please try calling the tax credit line, I understand there is a way of claiming on your current situation, not just last years.

Why are you paying mortgage insurance? is it in case of redundancy, check your policy carefully- you may be wasting your money.

stelly

The mortgage insurance is for death and critical illness cover.

I think tomorrow is definately going to be a telephone day.

RAS

stelly wrote: »

The mortgage insurance is for death and critical illness cover.

I think tomorrow is definately going to be a telephone day.

If OH is at home tomorrow, make him do the phoning. He needs to start taking responsibility for your financial situation.

Running_man

Hi stelly.what jumps out straight away is Petrol costs £150 per month.Why so much?
That is nearly a 1/5 of your total income.Can you not sell car-could use money to pay off Loan1 and Loan 2 on your Soa.Saving you £91 pounds a month.With £150 petrol this would be a massive saving per month


You paying for landline rental.I have a package from Sky for internet ,line rental,skytalk and TV and it still costs well below what you are paying every month.

Electricity figure high
Boiler repair -Is it worth it -How old is boiler?
Cant think of anything else at moment

goingforward_3

I really feel for you... there you are trying to sort things and he is turning down shifts for whatever reason.

Will he not say why he wont work?

He is a HGV drivers isnt he... he should be able to find agency work easily enough.. even round here with the influx of Eastern European HGV drivers there is always work going spare. Going back 5 years to when my oh worked for a HGV agency he was earning really good money (in excess of £25k a year).

And as for James helpful comments well just ignore him he isnt worth bothering with xx

NorthernLas

If your overdraft account is where your wages go, you need to set up a new bank account (co-op cashminder) and get your wages/benefits paid into it.

Do i transfer the mortage direct debit to this account? - yes and the secured loan also

The reason for the new bank account is so that the bank do not use your money to pay off your credit card, or close your overdraft leaving you with nothing. The idea is to put money in a new account (someone who you have no debts with) and then set the direct debits for essential bills to come out of here. Obviously, it takes a little bit of set up and you need to keep this quiet from your current bank. Essential bills are anything that if not paid would affect your home i.e. mortgage, secured loan, gas, electric, council tax, food, tv licence. You may want to add other things like mortgage insurance, phone.

It would be helpful if you have a read of the quick links at the top of the thread "Debt probs what to do and where to get help" and "Setting Off Rules". The national debtline website has some very useful stuff on it as well http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/england_wales/index.php
I would get OH to phone to see if bills can be reduced.
I wouldn't speak with CC / loan people by telephone immediately. If you write, you have evidence that you have informed them. You don't need to say anything more than you have had a change of circumstance and are seeking financial advice.