Hey people lets get this Uni thang going...

pjcox2005

I personally think that when these questions come along people should give the parents a little bit more slack.

A while back now, but when I went to university I was more than capable of organising most of these items. Some of which I did, and others I didn't, merely for the simple fact that letting parents do the tasks clearly helped them feel like they were sending me off with the best possible start.

Funnily enough, just because parents brought me a sandwich toaster I didn't need, or organised my insurance whilst at uni, didn't mean that I failed to cope when I turned up (or failed to be a well rounded person when I left).

In fact it was fairly easy, although as with moments above, the friend set help to guide on any uncertainties.

So in future may be it's worth just accepting that some parents want to be more involved when sending their child to uni.

melancholly

pjcox2005 wrote: »

So in future may be it's worth just accepting that some parents want to be more involved when sending their child to uni.

completely - some parents want to be involved and buying their child a sandwich toaster is very nice. here, in this thread, the discussion moved to being about the student giving their student loan money to the parent so that the parent could pay all the bills (although that seems to have been incorrect). that's not helping, that's controlling!

7891368

minerva_windsong wrote: »

Oh God yes, I knew some really dopey people when I was at uni. A particularly memorable moment is a girl on my corridor setting fire to a baked potato because she got 'paper for the microwave, foil for the oven' the wrong way round. I'm just glad it didn't involve sparks and explosions.

One of my flatmates couldn't open a tin can

Indie_Kid

minerva_windsong wrote: »

Oh God yes, I knew some really dopey people when I was at uni. A particularly memorable moment is a girl on my corridor setting fire to a baked potato because she got 'paper for the microwave, foil for the oven' the wrong way round. I'm just glad it didn't involve sparks and explosions.

A hallmate of mine had never done her own washing.:eek: She never budgeted either - she had £4 to last her for the last 3 weeks of term.

TWINKLE-STAR_6

dantheman i would just like to say i think your doing a good thing by helping him/advising him in the way you think is best!

i dont see anything wrong in what you are doing at all to be honest, my child is still a baby, well not actually a baby (starting school in september lol) but still its my baby and always will be, when my little one is old enough to go to uni i will also do everything you have done and probably more lol

its not about babying our children its about supporting them in their choices, yes there are plenty of ways to teach out kids to stand on their own 2 feet and im sure you have done this in many other ways and are still doing this because once he is gone to uni its not like ul be there ironing his clothes and making him packed lunch is it

you are doing the right thing in supporting him and many children/young adults dont get that support, i could of only dreamed for that at his age and im sure he is very grateful.

i hope he enjoys uni and i hope you arent crying whilst waving him off cos i know i will be when its my turn lol

The_One_Who

TWINKLE-STAR wrote: »

its not about babying our children its about supporting them in their choices,

Yes, supporting them is great, I think everyone agrees with that, but the point is that in some cases they don't get to make the choices because the parents want to do everything.

Dantheman1212

Twinkle , you have got it exactly right. I am never going to mollycoddle him , control him , make him do everything , and i never once said anything about doing any of that. Some of the edjits on this thread have this big hang up about you cant control him , he needs to stand on his own two feet , i did it all by myself with no money and no help from parents , you cant run his life for him , he needs to make his own mistakes blah blah blah...

All i was saying was he wants me to sort out his accomodation as he hasnt still got a bank account , but the big tough guy edjits were ready to tell me how tough they had it all alone , how they had to do everything for themselves , they have had such a hard life bleat bleat bleat... the thing is when he legs it he legs end of.He is far more independant than i was at that age , and he will make loads of mistakes and he will get into trouble of course he will thats obvious , and i will be the first to try and help him. I hate to think what some of these edjits are like as people but personality isnt one of there strongest points. And before thay start trying to justify how great they are and how hard a life they had and how a spell in national service would do the kids some good lol...

All I asked was a simple question but they were all so quick to tell me how controlling i was , how i should let him do it all himself , how i shouldnt run his life for him... again blah blah blah. Nobody knows me on here so dont pass judgement until you meet me keep your crap tough guy image to yourself. I am only writing this to twinkle and amanda who at least just had the decency to reply in a nice manner. So guys write back and give all the tosh you want to say if it makes you feel good about yourself , feel free you wont get a reply from me and it if hits a raw nerve live with it mancub...

As for me I will help him every bit I possible can from right now and to the day he goes to Uni , sort anything out with him , advise him , lend him some ammo if he needs it , arrange any paperwork to make it easier for him , and im even gonna get some food together for the first week he`s there. So lambast me , crucify me , Bring it on how controlling I am , Hang me up by my heels and flog me. I only asked a simple question and to those who replied in a civil manner Thankyou it was much appreciated.

Dano.

Indie_Kid

Why doesn't he have his own bank account?

TWINKLE-STAR_6

The_One_Who wrote: »

Yes, supporting them is great, I think everyone agrees with that, but the point is that in some cases they don't get to make the choices because the parents want to do everything.

yes in some cases thats true, but we havent had any evidence to say this is the case have we

dan is clearly just a parent trying to help his son and i dont see the problem , i dont see why everyone has jumped on him like he is a man with a bomb

he just asked for advice thats all just advice........, i thought the forum was for helping others with questions they have

The_One_Who

If the OP had made his posts clear and concise there wouldn't have been any confusion over what exactly he was doing. Also, people are more likely to answer negatively when others are being insulted and called names. It does nothing to help your case or made people want to help you.