Teenager reluctant to get a job

Jinx

ciderwithrosie wrote: »

My son's at Uni but is working all summer to pay for his rent on his house share in London, we can't afford to pay it for him. It's not going to do him any harm, his dad and I have to work all summer to pay our bills and now he's an adult so does he. The supermarket he's working for now snapped him up cos he had nearly 3 years experience already whereas some of his peers are only just looking for their first holiday work.

regards CWR

My daughters off to Uni this year and initially she was working this summer to save towards this but with our full backing.... My hubby was made redundant and now she NEEDS that money and I am so relieved she has some savings to start her off and she knows she will need a job part time to support herself.... And like your son Ciderwithrosie she has worked in 2 part time jobs and worked a gap year so I hope she will be snapped up

I think if you can work while studying you should, it adds to your CV, give skills & experience and gives self-respect I think.

Having just watched 'young, dumb and living off mum' it doesnt do to spoil our kids!!

Beencounting

Wow, so many replies! Thanks everyone!

I had an unexpected visitor earlier, so had to log off soon after I’d started the thread. I’ll try to answer your questions:

Bennifred – thanks for your comments, it’s good to remember that just by keeping a roof over her head and feeding her, we are supporting her.

Wilma33, Msmyth18, ali-t – the course is Further Ed, so no loan or grant, although it also means there are no tuition fees. It’s a foundation course, she’ll move into higher ed next year on completion of the foundation. Also, afraid she doesn’t qualify for EMA (both OH and I are working and combined salaries take us over the limits).

Sp1987, amandada – she has applied for a few jobs over the summer (both by CV and application form) but has not been successful, but as I mentioned earlier she has been working a couple of days a week recently, but this job can’t continue once she’s in uni because of the daytime hours.

Broomstick – babysitting could be an option if she could find something along these lines, will investigate.

Jinx – yes, I watch that programme with horror too!

I think the message I’m getting from the thread is to let her realise that she needs a job to enjoy the social life etc, which we, as parents won’t provide for, and hopefully this will be sooner rather than later. I hope this will be the case.

I’m definitely of the opinion that she should have a job as, as well as providing money it’s also ‘character building’ (I hate that phrase, but can’t think of a better way to put it). I had a Saturday job at 14 years and have worked ever since (and yes, while I did my degree), and as a lot of you have said, it never did anyone any harm! I also feel that it’s important for young people to understand that they are responsible for their own lives. Obviously though I want to be supportive so that she gets the best out of her course, the result of which will determine whether she can get onto the degree course next year.

Thank you everyone who’s taken the time to reply, much appreciated!

Been

Jo_R_2

I noticed OP that you mentioned you thought it could be a confidence thing?

I was cripplingly shy as a teenager. I did come out of my shell somewhat when I left school at 16 and went to college, but it was only really once I started uni at 19 that I managed to break out of myself and get out there in terms of jobs.

There were a couple of instances where I took on roles (both voluntary and paid) prior to uni where my shyness actually meant I was asked to leave:o A complete kick in the teeth given how I'd tried to overcome my shyness in the first place, and at times people actually mistook my shyness for some kind of attitude problem or that I was really rude, or in fact not interested in looking for or getting a job at all (my dad's never come out and said it but reading between the lines I sensed it years ago, when that wasn't the case at all - I actually used to be jealous of friends who had part-time jobs and money for themselves!)

After starting uni, I got a permanent part-time job at a local supermarket, and it helped me incredibly. It was difficult, but the fact everyone lived locally meant I built up a nice network of friends and could tailor hours around my study. And of course gaining confidence from that job led me to be more confident in applying for other jobs subsequently.

Bit of a long post but could this possibly be the case with your DD OP?

ciderwithrosie_2

Jinx wrote: »

Having just watched 'young, dumb and living off mum' it doesnt do to spoil our kids!!

Ooo, I'm glad I didn't see it, I'd probably have been cursing at the TV!!

Best wishes to your daughter going off to Uni (and working) and hope something turns up for your husband soon.

regards CWR

efrieze

I went away to uni 15 years ago and I was very fortunate that my parents paid for everything - rent, weekly allowance, even holidays and they never encouraged me to work before I left home as they didn't want me to be distracted. Up until then, I had only ever done babysitting for extra cash.

I did get a summer job in my second year and realised all these wasted hours i had not worked up until that time. I never had a term time job but I did work n the summer holidays after that.

Anyway, my point is that I actually have a very good work ethic despite never being encouraged (or really NEEDING) to work while at Uni. As soon as I finished Uni, I left home, got a temp job and then managed to get a permanent job in the City (still there now). I am doing ok despite not having parents who were "trying to be cruel to be kind". No debt, house in London etc. Just thought you might like to hear another perspective.

Beencounting

Jo_R wrote: »

I noticed OP that you mentioned you thought it could be a confidence thing?

I was cripplingly shy as a teenager. I did come out of my shell somewhat when I left school at 16 and went to college, but it was only really once I started uni at 19 that I managed to break out of myself and get out there in terms of jobs.

There were a couple of instances where I took on roles (both voluntary and paid) prior to uni where my shyness actually meant I was asked to leave:o A complete kick in the teeth given how I'd tried to overcome my shyness in the first place, and at times people actually mistook my shyness for some kind of attitude problem or that I was really rude, or in fact not interested in looking for or getting a job at all (my dad's never come out and said it but reading between the lines I sensed it years ago, when that wasn't the case at all - I actually used to be jealous of friends who had part-time jobs and money for themselves!)

After starting uni, I got a permanent part-time job at a local supermarket, and it helped me incredibly. It was difficult, but the fact everyone lived locally meant I built up a nice network of friends and could tailor hours around my study. And of course gaining confidence from that job led me to be more confident in applying for other jobs subsequently.

Bit of a long post but could this possibly be the case with your DD OP?

Thanks Jo_R - yes I think there is definitely an element of shyness with my DD, she's not particularly confident in situations where she has to meet new people or put herself forward.

I think the casual job she temporarily has at the moment has been easier for her to deal with because she did work experience there before and so knows the staff.

I hope, like you, she will be able to find something that allows her to make friends with a group of people as this will help her confidence. I just hope this happens sooner rather than later .

Been

Beencounting

efrieze wrote: »

I went away to uni 15 years ago and I was very fortunate that my parents paid for everything - rent, weekly allowance, even holidays and they never encouraged me to work before I left home as they didn't want me to be distracted. Up until then, I had only ever done babysitting for extra cash.

I did get a summer job in my second year and realised all these wasted hours i had not worked up until that time. I never had a term time job but I did work n the summer holidays after that.

Anyway, my point is that I actually have a very good work ethic despite never being encouraged (or really NEEDING) to work while at Uni. As soon as I finished Uni, I left home, got a temp job and then managed to get a permanent job in the City (still there now). I am doing ok despite not having parents who were "trying to be cruel to be kind". No debt, house in London etc. Just thought you might like to hear another perspective.

Thanks efrieze, I do appreciate hearing your perspective. I must admit to being worried about the longer term and her 'work ethic'. It's good to know that things can turn out well whatever your circumstances.

Been

VK-2008

well i wish your child all the best for her course!

Jinx

ciderwithrosie wrote: »

Ooo, I'm glad I didn't see it, I'd probably have been cursing at the TV!!

Best wishes to your daughter going off to Uni (and working) and hope something turns up for your husband soon.

regards CWR

Thanks. Hes doing ongoing temp at mo and 2nd interview on Wed... fingers crossed!!!

Beencounting

VK-2008 wrote: »

well i wish your child all the best for her course!

Thanks VK!:)