Elderly relative, care homes and selling houses...a complicated enquiry!

baza52

how certain are you that your nan will leave the house to the children?
She may leave it to someone else, afterall its HER house not anyone elses.
Whatever your grandad wanted when he bought the house is irrelevant as its hers now to do with as she wants.

Errata

I fail to see why social services have the ability to direct someone into care and thereby deprive them of their funds when they do not need that care.

The reason you can't see it is because it doesn't exist. SS can suggest but not direct.

calleyw

margaretclare wrote: »

Calleyw, if you glance back to the start of this thread, it was stated that this 'inheritance' was always intended by grandad to be there for the grandchildren and not for his widow. That is my interpretation of what's been written, anyway.

I have read the thread and replied exactly on that point. If the grandfather wanted his children to inherit then he need to do this in his will.

Unless social services section the OP's grandmother they can't make her go in to a home. But from the sounds of it she would benefit due to the care and attention that she would recieve from being there.



Yours

Calley

[Deleted User]

sloughflint wrote: »

But what you so painfully still fail to comprehend is that it is her choice whether you or yor family like it or not.

Do as I suggest. Let her sample one ( a nice one though please) and make sure you go and look at the cheaper homes too....the ones where less fortunate people with no savings have to go.

I do hope this woman decides to leave her estate to the local hospital. You are unreal.

With respect, you haven't had to deal with this issue for 30 years. Neither are you a member of the public who might not have received an ambulance as quickly as you needed, because my nan has called one out unnecessarily.

It's easy to judge people and insist that grandparents are above the law. But there's no rule that says everyone must love their grandparents. Not all grandparents are nice!

Finally, I am confident that my nan wouldn't want to be in a home. She might love being in hospital where she can receive attention, but putting her in a home will be calling her bluff and she'll soon realise that being around others who are quite seriously ill is not a nice place to be.

Errata

calleyw wrote: »

I have read the thread and replied exactly on that point. If the grandfather wanted his children to inherit then he need to do this in his will.

Unless social services section the OP's grandmother they can't make her go in to a home. But from the sounds of it she would benefit due to the care and attention that she would recieve from being there.



Yours

Calley

If that's what would make her happier than she is at the moment, then I agree. She would be able to pay for it. Although, given the weekly cost of care, perhaps if she chucked that amount each week at a family member they could easily care for her.

Mojisola

Deleted_User wrote: »

Can I just point out that I have nothing to gain from this financially. I am not the one subject to any inheritance - I do not care about receiving any money. What I do care about is seeing my parents have to deal on a daily basis with a parent who destroys the lives of those around her quite maliciously.

So encourage your nan to choose a nice home where they will look after her and your parents can get their lives back.

My nan doesn't need to go into a home. She doesn't need it. It's a waste of everyone's time and money.

But if she wants to, it's her choice. It's not for the rest of the family to say whether she should. If she didn't have the problems she has, she could have sold the house and spent all the money having fun. Would the family have tried to stop her doing that?

I fail to see why social services have the ability to direct someone into care and thereby deprive them of their funds when they do not need that care.

As has been said, they can't. If they suggest she goes into a home and she doesn't want to, they can't make her. If they feel they have enough reason to section her and force her, they will have to pay for her care.

Getting back to the point: we're not trying to push a nuisance nan into a home. We don't want her in a home. She - most likely - doesn't want to go into a home either. But she LOVES attention and thrives on being in hospitals. She loves pity. She makes up the fact she has illnesses to try and get sympathy. I have no sympathy for her. Our family exhausted all their sympathy over the 30 years this has been going on.

So why not encourage her to go into a home where she will be happy and the family can relax?

Bennifred

[QUOTE=Deleted_User;35889161i..................My_nan_doesn't_need_to_go_into_a_home._She_doesn't_need_it._It's_a_waste_of_everyone's_time_and_money._..........Getting_back_to_the_point:_we're_not_trying_to_push_a_nuisance_nan_into_a_home._We_don't_want_her_in_a_home._She_-_most_likely_-_doesn't_want_to_go_into_a_home_either._But_she_LOVES_attention_and_thrives_on_being_in_hospitals._She_loves_pity._She_makes_up_the_fact_she_has_illnesses_to_try_and_get_sympathy._I_have_no_sympathy_for_her._Our_family_exhausted_all_their_sympathy_over_the_30_years_this_has_been_going_on.[/QUOTE]

Actually, it sounds awfully like she does. You don't have to be physically or mentally incapable to benefit from living in a "home". It sounds as though a "home", where she would get the attention she craves would be the perfect place for her! Especially if those around her clearly aren't meeting her needs. Indeed, it sounds as if you and yours are trying to stop her needs being met in order that she doesn't spend her own money before your parents can get their hands on it.

calleyw

Deleted_User wrote: »

W
It's easy to judge people and insist that grandparents are above the law. But there's no rule that says everyone must love their grandparents. Not all grandparents are nice!

Granted I am well aware of it. But it just seems to everyone that your parents and aunts and uncles don't like or get on with their own mother.

But all they care about is the house and money they will loose if their mother has to pay for her own care. I think you need to detach yourself and think about how you would react or reply if someone else posted this question.

And taxes and NI are red herring here. What you pay in taxes and NI is not a savings account you get to dip in to as when you please. And any monies that your parents or grandparents paid in years ago was spent many times over the second it was paid to the HMRC.

If you grandmother choose to go in to a home then the house will have to be sold to pay for her care. Shame that it seems her own children begrudge her comfort in her last years.

Yours

Calley

calleyw

Errata wrote: »

She would be able to pay for it. Although, given the weekly cost of care, perhaps if she chucked that amount each week at a family member they could easily care for her.

Maybe she dislikes her own children as much as they seem to dislike her. So does not want them anywhere near her.

Yours

Calley

Errata

In an early post the OP writes that consideration is being given to her being charged by the police for wasteing emergency services time.
IME an ambulance service and the hospitals it serves have well developed strategies for dealing with 'frequent flyers' and I doubt the police would take any action before a lgreat deal of investigation and assessments are carried out, given the woman's age.
The OP writes that the woman is calling for an ambulance on an average of twice a day. That's a significant number and indicative of something being wrong. Someone has suggested Muchausens, that suggestion may be correct but would not give rise to someone being sectioned when their difficulty can be dealt with in more appropriate and effective ways.
The OP writes that the woman has made life difficult for her family for the last 30 years. I wonder if her current behaviour has been going on for all that time, or if this is a fairly recent development. If recent, then it may be that something has happened to trigger it, or is happening.
As an afterthought: ambulances are parked up in most large towns and cities every weekend to deal with drunks who are vomitting, passed out, have sprained ankles and broken arms. That could also be seen as a waste of their time which would be better spent racing to save someone's life.