I want to leave my Army husband...help

discobaby

I don't really want to air our troubles on here, but I feel I have no way out.

His wages pay for the house and bills and he gives me next to no money and I have to ask like a child when I want something for our children and then it gets thrown in my face its been like this for sometime and I have worked and had no help with childcare from him at all and sometimes was 3/4 of my wages.

He has committed adultery twice too.

Anyway I have no money to leave the house, I know I get 91 days but I really don't want to stay here any longer.

I have heard that you can get help for a deposit for private housing from some sort of army welfare or charity...but they don't advertise it as such.

Can anyone help me with information at all as army welfare are not helpful at all here just nosey and cause more problems.....in a genuine situation and need out.

Thanks in advance!

lee634

Speak With you Unit Welfare Officer ( families Officer) to start with, they should be aware of any family problems his unit has.
If this is of no use then go to SSAFA http://www.ssafa.org.uk or even you individual service Benevolent fund, or the British legion.

They should be able to possibly help financially or point you in the right direction.

Alias_Omega

I would recommend contacting Child Benefit, and Tax Credits to have these transferred into your account.

This will take place for the the next payment, and will give you some cash to make a start.


The leap i would take, would be back into my parents house. Parents will always take your back for a short term, and already have a home setup.

lee634

Alias_Omega wrote: »

The leap i would take, would be back into my parents house. Parents will always take your back for a short term, and already have a home setup.

This is an easy option for the Services because as soon as she has gone they will wash their hands,

Whilst she is still in a military quarter people are more willing to help and put you in a home of your're own (maybe council) but you know what i mean.

The Support Services are there to help in these cases, I agree with Alias get the child benefit sorted if not already in your name.

EmmEve

SSAFA may help you as might the Royal British Legion if you contact them.

BLT_2

discobaby wrote: »

I don't really want to air our troubles on here, but I feel I have no way out.

His wages pay for the house and bills and he gives me next to no money and I have to ask like a child when I want something for our children and then it gets thrown in my face its been like this for sometime and I have worked and had no help with childcare from him at all and sometimes was 3/4 of my wages.

He has committed adultery twice too.

Anyway I have no money to leave the house, I know I get 91 days but I really don't want to stay here any longer.

I have heard that you can get help for a deposit for private housing from some sort of army welfare or charity...but they don't advertise it as such.

Can anyone help me with information at all as army welfare are not helpful at all here just nosey and cause more problems.....in a genuine situation and need out.

Thanks in advance!

I am unaware of any Army welfare or charity which provides deposits for private housing, furthermore you need to consider whether you can afford the substantial costs of such.

The council will not normally provide assistance until you are officially given an eviction notice, and this is not offered until the 91 day point. Personally I would take full use of this grace period as your husband has to pay the rent for the property over this period.

You need to consider where you want to live in the future and place your name on the housing lists. Under no circumstances move in with your parents, at this point not only will the Army wash their hands of you, but also the council will as well as you will be housed.

Savvy_Spender_South

Old post now and i hope this writer has resolved her issue but for others who may read this for a guide,

Stage one, if a dependent is unhappy, the serving member will be ordered to vacate. its a little Victorian but the MOD is obsessed with protecting the dependent once they feel there is an oppression going on. b

The 91 day rule is a guideline to allow time for local authorities to allocate suitable housing. the military will not move a family out of SFA at the end of 91 days. what will happen is the serving family member will cease o pay entitled rates and the separated dweller will pay equivalent commercial rates. this individual can and should get full housing benefit support to this situation if they are on low income/not working.

throughout this time, your local HIVE will help coordinate housing applications and CAB are always on hand.

As for pay, the crux of the earlier issue, and allocation made by CSA or its modern successor will be met by the MOD without question.That is always an option.

esmf73

Try the Army Families Federation as well for advice.

This happened to my friend when we were both in Cyprus. She was immediately relocated to the Cotswold Centre until a council where she wanted to live (near her parents) could find her a house. She said the Centre was a bit grim, but there were lots of other wives and children there. She did have to constantly keep on top of the situation, but I believe that she did get the bond for her rented place paid for by an Army charity - not sure which one. OP, if I can help at all, please PM me and I'll do what I can for you - with regards to finding out information. Can you not try your local Hive?

jon2432

British legion do a rent deposit bond, get in contact with them directly or through SSAFA-FH.

Julie_J

My city council wouldn't consider rehousing until the separated or ex-service family arrived and were then put into a hostel until accommodation could be found. Often their furniture was put into storage and whilst the service/benevolent fund would pay for the first move - the second from the hostel to a permanent home was not.

pelirocco

Savvy_Spender_South wrote: »

Old post now and i hope this writer has resolved her issue but for others who may read this for a guide,

Stage one, if a dependent is unhappy, the serving member will be ordered to vacate. its a little Victorian but the MOD is obsessed with protecting the dependent once they feel there is an oppression going on. b

The 91 day rule is a guideline to allow time for local authorities to allocate suitable housing. the military will not move a family out of SFA at the end of 91 days. what will happen is the serving family member will cease o pay entitled rates and the separated dweller will pay equivalent commercial rates. this individual can and should get full housing benefit support to this situation if they are on low income/not working.

throughout this time, your local HIVE will help coordinate housing applications and CAB are always on hand.

As for pay, the crux of the earlier issue, and allocation made by CSA or its modern successor will be met by the MOD without question.That is always an option.

Old post?......