Week 2 - There's so much we can do.

RubySewSew

I am feeling so sorry for myself. I will get over it. I walked to school this morning (50 day goal - tick) in the pouring rain. I mean biblical rain. Because the mot ran out on the car and I haven't had time to sort it out. The kids were drenched and miserable. I was drenched and miserable. I arrived at work a couple of minutes late (literally 2) to find my class teacher had left the room in tears and 2 of the parents ranting and being vile. I was soaked to the bone, my boots were squelching. My feet stayed wet all day. I got a memo about something despicable I can't go into. Did manage a temporary cheer up with hot chocolate and doughnuts with the boys before discovering the boiler has bust.

My friend's husband is a plumber so I'm hoping he can look at it. I've fiddled with all the buttons but it's pretty dead apart from one setting where it just makes a strange and desperate noise but does nothing useful. It's not insured. It is very old. The way my luck has gone this year I don't hold out much hope. I don't have any savings. I was hoping that I could raise enough money at the craft fayre to pay for the car insurance and do a bit of Christmas shopping. I'm so gutted that every time things get a little bit easier and I crawl forward 1 step, something crap happens to put me back 2 steps. I know I'm being despondent and woeful but I'm just so fed up and I feel so very, very alone.

It's not all entirely hopeless. My Mum has said she will try and help if she can if I can wait a bit. The car is booked in for its mot tomorrow. I have enquired about a third craft fayre. I have met a lovely sewing friend who is really determined to help me. We are planning to make patchwork quilts for Christmas and get some stuff together to sell. And she has been through my fabric stash and found some gems. The head teacher at the other school has suggested we go out for a drink so there is a positive relationship that I can build on.

I looked online at rescue dogs today. That is where I want to be. I want to work from home where my children and my animals and my home come first and where I can build and support a community using my passion and skills and experience. And walk the kids to school with a little scottie dog or spaniel. Something to aim for. And I am feeling slightly better now I have finally thawed out!

I'm sorry to drag you all down with me. Today has been a real struggle. I'll take myself off to bed in a minute and bury myself in duvets and clean sheets. And tomorrow is another day.

moo2moo

Pants pants and pants.

That said boilers make groaning death rattles when their pressure is low. If it was working fine and suddenly isn't thats as good a place to start as any. There should be a gauge on it somewhere which will tell you how much / little is in it. If you need to top it up theres usually a small tap valve you turn with a screwdriver near a shiny flexi hose that looks like the hose you'd find on a shower, if you overdo it it will automatically vent the excess water making a horrific hammering noise whilst it does it. Otherwise hopefully your friend husband will be able to help.

Things can always be worse. I spent a fun filled half hour scooping several mushy loo rolls and rather too many lumpy brown things into a bin bag by hand in the vague hopes of unjamming a toilet that some delightful child had flushed a sock down before several thousand more small children had visited it. Loverly! Highlight of my day that was.

Love the sound of patchwork quilts. I always wanted one of those, in fact I still would. I'd also love to make my own but my own attempts were a mutlicolour catastrophe.

Helen105

Hi Ruby I've been catching up on your diary and everything seemed to be going so well until the last few days. Get your car sorted first as you will need it for the craft fairs and then work out a plan for the central heating.
If the worst comes to the worst you can live without it for a few months, we've done without for five years now and I must say that electric blankets are in the top ten inventions known to man.

RubySewSew

I honestly don't know how much more I can take. The car failed it's mot dramatically. It will cost £400 just to scrape through the mot and then at least another £400 on advisories. And the tax is due on it this month to. That made me 15 minutes late picking up DS1 from the library. We then had to walk 45 minutes back in the dark and the cold with my 5 year old (DS3) crying from the cold and the pain.

I might be able to manage without heating but unfortunately we don't have any hot water either.

I have one gas fire in the front room which is on at the moment although I'm not entirely sure it's safe.

Oh, and note up in the staffroom today to say we all had to pay £1 a week towards the cost of milk. I make that 25p per cup of tea which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to bring my own teabags.

RubySewSew

Oh and thank you for boiler tips but I have already tried all of that...

Cheery_Daff

Oh ruby ((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))

Pah to the car Remember the advisories are only advisories - they can wait for the time being. Sounds like that's your priority if you use it for work etc? How much is the car worth? Is it worth fixing, or replacing with something smaller/cheaper temporarily? (may be false economy!)

As for the heating - what can you do temporarily? Do you have plug in heaters, or can you borrow a couple/get from freecycle? Have you all got hot water bottles and plenty of blankets?

Hot water - do you have an electric shower? We did (not through choice!) without heating/hot water for 10 weeks - but we DID have an electric shower. I would have struggled without that (strangely enough, we only got a shower a couple of months before the boiler "broke").

When can your friend's husband look at your boiler? Don't be scared to ring and ask - call in all your favours! Bless your mum for offering to help, and well done to the craft fairs :T

As for the tea in work - pah! Can you have a word with the person organising it? What about taking your own goats milk (or rather ordinary milk in a goat's milk bottle - makes sure nobody else will drink it! )?

Sending lots of positive vibes your way for a peaceful rest of the week xxx Keep us posted xxx

chevalier

Hi there
Just wondering a couple of things.
I am assuming you own the house, so it isn't for a landlord to sort out a boiler?

Have you checked whether the boiler is covered under your buildings insurance, might be worth a look.

Do receive any benefits? If you do, do any of them entitle you to a crisis loan from the DSS? I would have thought this was exactly what it was for.

Do you belong to any professional body? Do they have hardship funds you could apply to?

What about the children's dad, could he chip in as it is his children that are cold...

Could you ask your work for an advance explaining the reason for it? Eg for the car work to get to work?

Having read through some of MG's making do and mend thread, I think this is your real turning point. You have so many skills, and now you need to focus on the fact that you are very close to making them work for you. It is important to not slide back into panic mode.

Also just to check, will your washing machine cold fill and then heat the water? If so at least you can still have clean clothes, which is one less hassle.

I agree hot water is a problem, but I managed with it for a winter, due to an insurance dispute, but could you impinge on your mum's hospitality and use her shower a few times a week and then have a wash the other days? Is there a shower at work you could use?

Hope some of this sparks an idea for you.
chev

RubySewSew

Thank you yet again for picking me up and putting me back on my feet.

A couple of answers first of all:

I do have a washing machine and a dishwasher (shh, don't tell the washing machine but I do know that it is thinking about giving up the ghost as well...) but for the time being I can manage without hot water.
I'm pretty sure the boiler isn't covered under home insurance but will double check.
At my friend's suggestion I have applied for a warm front grant to replace the boiler.
I have 2 hot water bottles but can get some more. Was planning to do some for the craft fayre anyway. Also, do have extra blankets and sleeping bags if we need (found the boys asleep with woolly hats on the other night!).
Will look into crisis loan although I don't get any benefits. Work for local authority so no chance of advance and unfortunately no professional body to lean back on either. However my Mum has offered to help if she can when she can (although she has only just returned to work from long term sick). My boyfriend has also said he can pay for the mot which is incredibly generous especially considering we have been wobbling recently.
I do have a hot shower
I do have a gas fire.
I do have somebody coming to look at the boiler today or tomorrow and having done a bit of research online it looks like it might be fixable.
I bought some individual uht milk sachets in summer for festivals so will use those for now.
Asking the children's Dad is mostly a no go. He has his own family to support (his words not mine) and his business is struggling at the moment. He would rather feather the nest he is in and I've learnt that arguing about that achieves nothing but disappointment and heartache.

I had to cancel/postpone work last night because not only did I not have a car to get all my stuff there but I left the keys for the venue in the glove compartment of my car at the garage. To be honest, I wasn't in a fit state to teach anyway. I've called in sick today because a combination of insomnia and dizzy spells rendered me incapable this morning. I know that I'm in for a world of pain tomorrow but here's the thing...

I have reached my turning point.

Chevalier was right. And Cheery, I know that the plan was to keep the school job as a regular source of income to allow myself to set up and generate other revenues but... it is making me so unhappy and so miserable. I am ill and tired and grumpy and snappy and disorganised. My kids are not being looked after and I am not being looked after. My health is fragile. Money is just money.

Whilst all this stuff has been going on the universe has been lining up other things. I have met a friend who can support me with sewing AND help with my health issues. I have made inroads at 2 other schools with a possible third to consider as well. I have found the connection between all my skills and the things that I am passionate about and I understand how they fit together now. I cannot move into this space until I have shaken off the shackles of the present unhealthy one. I am really, really scared. But I will be ok.

Cheery_Daff

Oh ruby ((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))) can't stop, I'm just dashing through, but sounds like you're hitting your turning point. Don't be apologising to me! Don't carry on doing something that's making you that unhappy.

Back later to read through properly and more hugs xxxxxxx

Cheery_Daff

Right, I'm back

Sounds like you're on the right track with the boiler :T and that there might be a few options. Good stuff! You've also got some hot water, some heating, and a washing machine - also good!

I'm sure you did the right thing not going to wokr last night or today too xx

RubySewSew wrote: »

I have reached my turning point.

Chevalier was right. And Cheery, I know that the plan was to keep the school job as a regular source of income to allow myself to set up and generate other revenues but... it is making me so unhappy and so miserable. I am ill and tired and grumpy and snappy and disorganised. My kids are not being looked after and I am not being looked after. My health is fragile. Money is just money.

Whilst all this stuff has been going on the universe has been lining up other things. I have met a friend who can support me with sewing AND help with my health issues. I have made inroads at 2 other schools with a possible third to consider as well. I have found the connection between all my skills and the things that I am passionate about and I understand how they fit together now. I cannot move into this space until I have shaken off the shackles of the present unhealthy one. I am really, really scared. But I will be ok.

You're right not to carry on with your job if it's making you that ill. I'm so sorry, I didn't realise that was the case You're right, your health, and that of your kids, is so important, much more important than money.

Sounds like you've got some good things coming too - well done with sorting out your skills, and with the inroads into other schools! :T

You just look after yourself, take all the help that's offered from wherever it comes from, and make sure you ask for things when you need them! You WILL be ok, you WILL. Scary stuff for you, this leap into the unknown, but you CAN do it, and we'll all be cheering you on :j :j :j

xxx