Kids And The Eat Or Starve Approach To Os

lillydrip

How about if they refuse the meal to start off with, when they say they are hungry rewarm the original meal and give it to them again? If they realise that they do not get what they want, they might not refuse the first time?

FZwanab

I had the same problem with my 3, see my previous post- bad mother for feeding children, sorry don't know how to post link. Mine were filling up on squash and bad snacks and refusing dinner. We have now got to a situation where they only snack on fruit and drink only water, sometimes hm fruit loaf. We also say there is nothing else to eat tonight except this dinner, and as they are usually hungry they eat it. We used a chart system and highlighted new foods tried, they loved getting a new food put up on their chart. Some veg are still a problem, but with a little tomato ketchup on it, it was easier to digest eg. cabbage and broccoli. I have cut out any potato foods that are not real potatoes that I have cooked myself, eg. waffles and chips. I have only done all this over the past 2 - 3 weeks, with a lot of help from this board, so it can be done. Best of luck to you too.

thriftmonster

We used to put the refused meal in the fridge and that was all that was available till the next meal - reheated of course:rolleyes:

I agree with the stuff about taking it slowly - we offer usually 3 veggies per meal and the kids have to choose 2 to eat which gives them the option to decline somrthing they don't like. Try to stay calm - I have definitely noticed that ds2 used to like to play "wind the parents up" - now I just try to look calm, if not bored

phizzimum

great advice everyone!

all I wanted to add is don't give up!! they will come round if you are consistent and don't cave in...even as adults we often have to try new things several times before we develop a liking for them.

I'm only so confident as recently I've managed to swap from white bread to wholemeal and then over the weekend my children actually ate my homemade bread and said it was lovely! I was absolutely shocked as they've always moaned about it and as a result I was giving them shop bought bread while DH and I ate homemade. But they asked to try some of ours and loved it.

I'm trying to cook more interesting meals, but if i'm cooking something that i don't think the girls will like I try and make sure there's something with it that they will eat. for example, they're not keen on spag bol so I serve it with a salad of cucumber, cherry toms, carrot sticks etc. that way I feel they've still had a good meal even if they've only managed a few spoon fulls of bolognaise.

I remember reading somewhere that we should imagine we're in a far off country and presented with something revolting to eat like monkey brains. Could you eat a whole plateful? probably not! a spoonful? maybe just a peasized amount? I'm sure my girls think my cooking is as bad as monkey brains some days, and when I remember that analogy it helps me to be reasonable in what i expect of them...but i do always expect them to eat some.

hope that helps, seems i've waffled a bit, I'm trying to put off doing the ironing!

snoozer

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/wine/main.jhtml?xml=/wine/2006/09/16/edjamie16.xml

I hope this link works. It's from Saturdays telegraph - Jamie Oliver's way of cooking with children and how it makes them want to eat. I found it very interesting.

If the link doesn't work go to https://www.telegraph.co.uk and click on food and drink

Strepsy

I do think the humour option works better than getting annoyed. I always have a laugh with youngest if there's something she doesn't want to eat. I generally go with humour based on 'carrots are good for your eyesight' theme, like, 'eat your peas or you'll never get hairs on your chest' and she says 'I don't want hairs on my chest' and I say 'course you do, it'll keep you warm in winter' - things along those lines. lol. If it is something I can tell she truly does not like one bit I just ask her to please eat a little bit for mum, so that I know she's got something in her tummy. I've never pressured mine to eat a whole meal, as long as they've got a little inside them I don't worry and might provide a more filling supper in those instances. I think as long as they don't feel naughty for eating a small amount sometimes then they're more likely not to make the same issues on nights when they do like the food. I've always praised them equally for meals or puddings too, I've never wanted to use no puddings as punishment because I think that's when you start craving things when you're not allowed them.

hex2

I was apallingly fussy and picky as a child. If I complain about my two my mother rolls around laughing. My earliest memories are all about being in trouble for refusing to eat things. I used to cry until I was sick in things with tedious regularity.
Mine are 2 and 3 and we do have problems with them being picky. They eat best when they have burnt a lot of energy, so visit to the park before tea rather than after watching tv for a bit. They eat a lot more at nursery than they do at home, I suspect they follow the other children, so you may need to crack your eldest first.
I try to do hm versions of things they like - eg chicken nuggets. Chop chicken breasts into chunks, dip in beaten egg, coat in hm breadcrumbs, bake in the oven. At least you know what is in it that way.

thriftlady_2

Kiwi, the main thing is don't give up.Just keep plugging away at it and one day you'll notice that they eat everything you cook. I realised this yesterday whilst clearing away the roast pork dinner I'd made. The 2 younger ones had eaten all their meat(they never used to), one of them had had gravy and another had given it a try (again, they never used to like it). All the veg had gone and the only thing left was a large piece of meat which was intentional (rubber pork;) ).

It happens slowly and gradually but if you keep at it and don't offer junk alternatives then good hm food is what they'll eat. Make sure you praise and praise them when they try new things and eat what you've made.

Another tip is to make sure there is always some part of the meal they will eat.For example they won't eat the sauce, but will they eat the pasta or the cheese ?

suzywoozy_3

I don't do the eat or starve approach, but also don't fuss to make stuff they will eat. So if ew are having spag bol, only one dd will eat it. The other two have plain pasts - if they eat some fruit and yoghurt after they have a fairly balanced meal.

also, my dd2 will not eat cooked veg, but likes it raw, so she eats the veg bit while I'm preparing it and doesn't have to have it cooked with the meal. In fact she really doesn't like to have sauces at all, if we have meat balls (slow cooked and in a sauce) I rinse them under water and she has it without the sauce with some rice.

If they really won't eat what I'm cooking they are allowed bread and butter.

We don't often have pudding at all but when we do it's either yoghurt and fruit which I am happy for them to eat regardless or it is because it is a treat day and as such I want them to have it to share in the treat.

Something though they really like though which is similar to the fast food stuff is thin cut strips of chicken covered in egg and then homemade bread crumbs and shallow or deep fried.

going2die_rich

Get your kids to help in the cooking. I think having them all help will be a bit difficult to manage so basically take it in turns with them. If you can get the eldest to eat up the middle child will most likely try stuff just be like the older one.

If they are involved in preparing the food they will be excited that they made it so will be more likely to try it. I'd start with things you know they are going to want to eat, cakes and a like in order to get them into the cooking mood.

Keep it up though, it'll be worth it in the long run and I am not a parent so my approach of saying letting them go hungry probably doesn't relate to how I'd feel if it was my children so why not feed them things they will eat but wont really like. Such as boring sandwiches, meals without ketchup etc so that they can't win. That might make the foods you prepare more of a tempation.