Kids And The Eat Or Starve Approach To Os

kiwichick

Morning All,

Please feel free to move this to the families board if its in the wrong place BG's, I thought about where to post and decided that OSers had probably had more experiance in this matter.

I am nearly at my wits end and so am asking for your advice if I may.

I am trying desperately to cut down on our food bill as this is one area where I am failing miserably at OS and it upsets me. Due to long period of depression following the birth of DS and then DD2 I have spent 2 years feeding my 3 young children what can only be termed politely as rubbish . By this I mean potato faces/chips, chicken nuggets, crisps, shop bought cakes and biscuits etc. Lots of this was because it was all I could face, the idea of cooking sent me into a spin IYKWIM.

I have been trying VERY hard to change my ways and to help my children be educated in what is healthy food. I no longer by crisps, I make all the cakes, biscuits and flapjacks that they eat. I have used up the last of the squash this weekend and will not be buying more.

I am trying to get them eating more OS meals and am cooking from scratch, to a degree, every day. However I find myself struggling with their blatant refusal to eat it. I know people have used the eat or starve approach and wondered if this would be useful or if you feel they are too young. They are aged 4, 3 and 2. TBH the youngest isnt a problem and will eat anything going, its the older 2 who I find I have a problem with.

Last night I made spag bol, all HM, no jar of sauce. I used onion, peppers, tin of toms, tom puree and carrot. Oh and mince of course! Baby tucked in and ate a man size portion but the other 2 sat there and pushed away the plate saying "yuck" and "urgh". Despite being frustrated I didnt hit or scream or shout. I tried to reason with them, told them it was this or nothing. I promised if they ate it they could help me to make fairy cakes for school. It didnt work. I even started making the cakes with DD2 while they looked on from their seats thinking it might spur them into eating it if they felt they were missing out. I tried the naughty step which works REALLY effectively for bad behaviour. It didnt work either and I am not sure if its suited for this kind of thing.

End of story of they didnt eat it, not even tried a single bite. I held out and refused to feed them anything else for an hour and a half but they then kicked of before bed so I caved and gave them a sandwich each . Their sleep is erratic enough without going to bed hungry.

I feel a real failure and dont know how to approach it now. The only food they eat happily that I would term OS is apples, rice pudding, broccoli, chicken and sausages. DS wont even eat those, he eats the heads of the broccoli but not stalks and seems to survive on jam sandwiches and fish fingers.

I am giving them EXPENSIVE vitamins/minerals each day beaucse I am now worried they are defficient in things.

Please offer your advice on how to approach this if you have had experiance or even if you have no children but have thoughts on the subject.

I want to be a better mother and I need to save money on the food bill too!

Thanks for listening to the ramble!
Allison

mrs_mix

it's hard but stick with my ds1 had a lot of tonsil problems when he was younger and would only eat food he felt comfortable with this being junk after he had his tonsils removed for a while it didn't get any better and I was at my wit's end but just by encouraging him to try you know what they say I don't like it i always say try it as you haven't had this before and most times he ate everything try making burger don't buy them any more and it will get better

pam

FrugalJo

Hi Kiwichick
You have my sympathies, well done for trying, but don't feel a failure, you just want wants best for them.
There is fussy eater section on the sticky mega index.
Fussy Eaters Scroll down to Cooking and Recipes - F
I have a 9 yr old DS that eats and cooks anything and everything and a 12 yr old that would survive on junk if I let him. He really has been a fussy one since day one.
However I think the the biggest battle in the food war is the mental war, Super Nanny rocks when it comes to food, I think if it becomes an issue they just milk it. They'll eat when they are hungry is true but never made feel any better.
There is the try something new star chart which seems to work for some. Different food each week, earning a treat for each one.
My eldest hates baked beans - but likes spicy things) we just don't tell him what's in what so a cottage/shepherds pie becomes a spicy version with some cayenne pepper and various beans to bulk it up.
Started to make our chips, potato cakes etc which he likes and are soo much cheaper.

I know I'm not much help but I too struggle with ensuring they eat well. Will watch with interest for more advice

Becles

Can you get the children involved with cooking so they can see what you are doing?

Eg - if you made some home made burgers with mince and served them with tomato ketchup, I'm sure they would eat them.

If you then made a plain bolognaise sauce, you could say it's the same ingredients as burgers, but with a little more tomato sauce. Tell them if they like the burger ingredients, there is no reason why they won't like bolognaise.

Once they are happy with a plain bolognaise, you can start adding peppers, mushrooms etc.

jennybb

Yes it's hard, but no child will starve themself to death. I had the same problem with my daughter for a while - what is most annoying is the point blank refusal to TRY something new. Try a sticker chart or similar for trying a new food. Yours are of an age where this sort of subtle bribery works a treat. My daughter is quite money driven - so she has a token chart for chores etc and the tokens are converted to cash on a saturday - so much better than pocket money for the sake of pocket money - and you can take tokens away as well as giving them!Anyway, I find that she is much more willing to try new stuff. Introduce new foods slowly. If you make an alternative meal, they will expect that every time. You are in charge! Good luck!

Lillibet_2

Watching this thread with interest .........Spud (13 months) is turning into something of a fussy eater:o:mad: & I want to know how best to approach it. I am trying not to get mad but he sleep is so erratic already & I know on the days he hasn't eaten enough I will be up half the night (I don't give in & give him milk in the night though). His diet does seem to be very reptitive, not with junk, just all the same stuff even though I keep trying to introduce new stuff. And then there's the stuff he has eaten since he was weaned which he suddenly starts refusing............:rolleyes:

Like I said, watching with interest;)

comping_cat

I agree with jenny, no child will starve themselves!!!!
I would start gradually, one or two meals a week that are different from what you have been giving them (then if they do refuse to eat, you know that they had eaten the day before!!!!) get them to join in with the cooking and reward them for trying. With my friends 2 1/2 year old the other day, she refused to eat, so i played the 'mouse is coming' game. I put the food on her spoon, left the table, and when i got back, the 'mouse' had eaten it!!!! She loved my surprise at how quick that pesky mouse could be!!! Apparently, its still working a week on, so maybe little games like that might help as well (i still remember my mum thinking my mouth was a train tunnel!!!). Once they have tried it, you will soon see what they really do like and what they dont (and i wouldnt accept one spoonfull and then yuk as a proper try either!!) Good luck, i remember those days well!!!!

moggins

My MIL had this with my BIL, she resorted to whizzing everything up so it was pureed and he couldn't see a vegetable. Of course you can only do this when it's in a sauce but it's a start.

DD is the same, a very fussy eater but we have started telling her that she has to try at least 2 spoonfuls of new foods and we have started to find loads of things now that she actually likes. She's even taking celery to school in her lunchbox this morning as she found she loves it.

Gingham_Ribbon

Well done for getting started on this. All changes take time and you'll get lots of ideas on how to get over the hurdles from others, I'm sure. I just wanted to wish you well as my lad is starting to go through a fussy phase since I got pregnant and am not able to do as much as I'd like cooking wise.

You'll get there and it will be worth the slog!

patchwork_cat

Hi
You can make homemade chicken nuggets, wedges etc. I would advise that you whizz up veg so they can't see it and make it look like processed ( if you can). I do still buy crisps and squash, but I am thinking that I ought to stop. Can I ask your advice do you think that a generally healthy diet with a few crisps low cal pop is OK or do you think all or nothing?

Nicki

I had exactly this problem for exactly the same reason. After a prolonged period of PND (about 2 years) my two would only eat fishfingers, nuggets or sausages and smiley faces and beans. I started gradually with one home cooked meal a week, eaten with the whole family, which was a novelty as up until then the kids had eaten earlier, and kept it plain - roast chicken and roast potatoes was a big favourite as I recall. When that meal had been accepted (and came to be looked forward to) I added another. Things also really improved when kids started school and having school dinners which exposed them to a range of other foods which they saw the other children tucking into. I didn't subscribe to the eat or starve philosophy because I didn't want to make food an issue for either of them, but if they didn't eat what was offered, they got a bowl of plain cereal (eg Weetabix or Ready Brek) and some milk (enough to stop them being hungry but boring to have every night. Two years on DS (6) will eat just about anything. DD who is younger is a bit more fussy but still not bad at all, and if she does refuse anything now we adopt a moderated approach to the one above and offer something nutritious but not very exciting in its place. We also don't give her things which we know she doesn't like - eg beef - so if the rest of the family was having spaghetti bolognaise, we would only give her the pasta and then some cold cooked meat or some cheese on the side.