At what age would you leave children alone ?

onlyroz

Surely it's about teaching your kids some common sense? I'm the most amazed by the person who said she wouldn't trust a 7-year-old to look after themselves for 10 minutes while she had a shower. I sometimes have a shower at around 7 am, while my 2 and 5-year-olds are stirring. With the stair-gate across there's nowhere my 2-year-old can get to that could hurt her, and I wouldn't have a problem if the 5-year-old wanted to go downstairs on his own for a bit. I know that he's been left alone downstairs watching TV while hubby has a nap upstairs, and I don't have a problem with this - he knows where dad is if there's a problem.

I think leaving a 5-year-old alone for a bit while you nap or take a bath is completely different to leaving them completely alone in the house, or letting them out to cross busy roads on their own. And if you do leave them "alone" like this, then presumably you'd be sensible enough to leave all matches/lighters/dangerous chemicals well out of reach? Or teach them enough sense so that they know not to mess around with them?

Pickle_99_uk

My son is now 2 and a half. I will sometimes have a shower with the door open and leave him playing with some toys in the next room or on the landing. I constantly shout are you ok and he shouts back. I agree with the post which said that as long as you can see and/or hear them. I often stand in the kitchen and do the washing up while my son plays in the next room. I think being in a situation where I can't hear and/or see him though is a no go though for me for a few years away yet.

onetomany

i have a 14 year old and a very young 8 year old i leave them alone for a hour or so if they are of school but i no if 8 year old plays up 14 year old rings me i would leave my 14 year old alone without his brother most of the day if i had to as hes sensible

rachbc

My son walked to school by himself occasionally from age 8 and and since year 6 (age 10) he's been coming home by himself a couple of afternoons a week - we weaned him of the after school club as there isn't anything once they start highschool. He takes himself off swimming and to the cinema with his mates and has been doing for a year or more now (he's 12) and gets the bus into town to meet me sometimes too.

He absolutley would not have the confidence and common sense to be able to do these things if I hadn't even dared leave him for 5 mins in a different room whilst I had a shower! You obviously need to set ground rules, talk about safety etc and go gradually and see how they cope with the independance.

themull1

mishkanorman wrote: »

Thanks guys, its nice to see opinions arent all that varied !

I do have 2 very sensible boys, my eldest was screaming blue murder sunday when me and oh were both home, went flying into the kitchen to find he had grabbed a tea-towel off the side and knocked a lighter onto the floor. He was screaming for us as he knows he isnt allowed to touch them and he wouldnt pick it up !

Its happened twice now that ive slept upstairs whilst they are down, the first time we were all in bed watching a dvd and i fell asleep, they both came downstairs to play without fuss.

I always manage to doze on the sofa and will continue to on the very rare occassion i need to sleep, i was asking more because my mum and OH dont think its all that big a deal to leave them while I sleep but i felt so wrong doing it !


mishka

Should the lighter not have been out of reach anyway? My oldest daughter stays on her own , she's nearly 12, but not the 8 year old, i take her with me, i don't leave the two together.

eckythump

one_hot_minute wrote: »

Why is it always baby number two who is the absolute terror???:rotfl:

With us baby one was the terror...........hence why there is no baby two;)

katiesmummy

Its really interesting to read people's views on this and its amazing how much things have changed even in 20 years or so.

I was a latchkey kid from the day I started secondary school in 1992 and was responsible for picking my little sister up from the childminders, taking her home and keeping her amused until my mum or dad got in. They used to leave us all the time to go to the pub round the corner for a few drinks...we loved it! We would go down, get a bag of crisps and a can of coke and come home and watch telly or play games till they got home.

I would (and have) left my dd unsupervised for short periods of time and I know her dad does the same when she is at his house. However she is a very sensible child, knows the drill of what to do if something happens, what she is and isn't allowed to touch etc etc. 3 yr old ds is a different story altogether- don't know if its a boy thing or a second child thing or just a 'him' thing but I can't leave him for more than a minute, even to go and do the washing up or go to the loo because he will do something. Last time I went upstairs to put some washing away, he decided to try and make himself some toast (toaster was on top of the cupboard and he climbed up on the laundry bin then onto worktop then onto freezer to reach it) and set the kitchen alight :eek:. Since then, where I go he goes- he's like Houdini and can bypass any lock/child gate/safety device you put in front of him & I just can't risk it.

Oh, the last time I catnapped on the sofa (from sheer exhaustion) he gave me a pen mustache :rotfl: so the occasional catnaps were also knocked on the head!

katiesmummy

eckythump wrote: »

With us baby one was the terror...........hence why there is no baby two;)

See now my dd was a gem, hence why I assumed that number 2 would be the same- I think its God's way of sticking his fingers up at me for being such a mischievous child myself!

I get people asking me sometimes if and when I will have another one.....never :eek:

kindofagilr

shellsuit wrote: »

At age 5 and 6 I wouldn't leave them alone while I slept.

You don't know what they would get upto, they could get out of the house, they could eat something they're not meant to, they could choke, they could burn or cut themselves, they could fight with each other, they could tumble down the stairs ~ Jesus, my heart would be in my mouth!

Like others have said, is there nobody who would watch them while you catch up on your sleep??

I think my 2 were around 8, (so 7, 8, 9) when I could do something (like shower or hoover in another room) without having to worry.

So you never nipped to the loo or went to make your bed, or gathered the washing together and put a wash in, or done the dishes or prepared tea while your kids were awake playing?

My son is 9 months old and basically sits on teh sitting room floor happily playing with his toys, the only problems we have encountered is the blinds, he loves the blinds so we have to have the curtains drawn back and tucked up out reach same as blinds and the wire thingys to operate them

As for chocking on something, simple there is nothing in his reach that he can choke on

shellsuit

kindofagilr wrote: »

So you never nipped to the loo or went to make your bed, or gathered the washing together and put a wash in, or done the dishes or prepared tea while your kids were awake playing?

My son is 9 months old and basically sits on teh sitting room floor happily playing with his toys, the only problems we have encountered is the blinds, he loves the blinds so we have to have the curtains drawn back and tucked up out reach same as blinds and the wire thingys to operate them

As for chocking on something, simple there is nothing in his reach that he can choke on

Of course I did.

I didn't say I didn't.

I said that when they reached a certain age, I could get on with things without having to worry about them and what they were upto.