How far is too far?

shellsuit

maggie111 wrote: »

Additional, I just to say that I have been to a few weddings and I have spent hundreds. But I chose to spend hundreds. I don't blame the wedding, I blame the way I want to enjoy it. If I was very poor, and it was very important for me to go, all I would spend would be travel and about £10 for the present. If it was 3 hours away I'd get the cheapest coach, wear whatever I had in the wardrobe and spend just 3 hours at the wedding so I could leave in order to get the last coach home.

Anything more than that is my choice, not the fault of the wedding.

Blame and fault of the wedding?

Haven't got a clue what that means.

All I said in the first instance was that a bride and groom *should* (it's not a must) think of their guests and how the day will pan out for them.

If some friends and family aren't well off and you're (not you personally) getting married in a manor house in the middle of nowhere (so add that hotel bill or cab fares on),have a gift list that starts at £70, have a caramel and purple colour dress code and costs £8 for a pint/glass of wine, then the ones less fortunate would either have to decline, or worry about comparing with everyone else on the day.

It's not fair to put that on people ~ that's all I was trying to say.

maggie111

shellsuit wrote: »

Blame and fault of the wedding?

Haven't got a clue what that means.

All I said in the first instance was that a bride and groom *should* (it's not a must) think of their guests and how the day will pan out for them.

If some friends and family aren't well off and you're (not you personally) getting married in a manor house in the middle of nowhere (so add that hotel bill or cab fares on),have a gift list that starts at £70, have a caramel and purple colour dress code and costs £8 for a pint/glass of wine, then the ones less fortunate would either have to decline, or worry about comparing with everyone else on the day.

It's not fair to put that on people ~ that's all I was trying to say.

Ignoring the blame bit, it seems that we are on the same page. My venues were ruled out before viewing based on room costs for a Saturday night and the price of a bottle of wine. I have said previously that I don't think it's fair that couples choose a "beautiful" venue that makes life awkward and expensive for guests.

But having been to my friend's wedding last year, and heard my friends moaning about how much it costs - it really doesn't have to cost as much as they choose to spend.

Lexxi

I'm laying on free transport for our 30 day guests, they just have to get to the church then get home after the evening reception. I've also inclded two different hotels for people that want to stay out, one is somewhere we wouldn't pay for normally but is where we are having our wedding breakfast, the other is somewhere we have stayed before and is clean and friendly and includes breakfast.
Most of our guests are near by anyway but it seemed silly to have the ones that drive driving everyone else about and cramming each other into someone elses cars, the few that aren't local certainly won't want to stay sober and drive!

jackomdj

We went to the evening of a friend wedding...we were in Cornwall & then wedding was in Newcastle. But we wanted to go so went.

Plan your wedding for you. Other people can go or not. Personally a few hours is not too far IMO.

missknixon

When we booked our venue the accommodation was a big issue! If we can't afford it how can we expect other people to? That is a personal opinion and I don't want to cause any upset! We have invited people because we would like tham to be there. The MiL was complaining that it was expensive (she is staying the night before the wedding - her choice - she has bought a designer outfit albeit from a dress shop, she has bought designer shoe, she has spent more on her outfit that her hubby, me and the OH!) so I told her if she didn't want to come she didn't have to! Sorry she has just wound me up - this early in the morning!

I want people to be there to share in our day not to spend hundreds of pounds getting drunk. This is another reason we are not having the drinks package anymore - lots of people are driving so will not be drinking and we didn't want them to feel - its been paid for so we should drink it which is what happened at my cousins wedding 4 years ago!

If it is the venue of your dreams those people to who you are important will be there - if it's snowing they will be there! My auntie only gets back from Florida the morning of the wedding but is determined she will be there - the they will drive home even if they don't make the evening do! If you want to be there you will if you don't you wont! One of the people who lives closest to the venue is not coming as the distance is too far! About 3 miles!!!! Make it your day and make it special! Don't let anyone interfere as you cant rewind and do it again!

Sorry if that's a little ranty but the MiL has upset me and I got carried away! x