We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

How do you get the balance right?

2

Comments

  • lilian1977
    lilian1977 Posts: 5,171 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Don't worry - I can't get the balance right and I've not even had my baby yet! I feel like by the time we get in from work and have eaten our tea, it's either a) relax and watch TV or b) tidy up and then it's practically bed time. God knows what I'll be like when I've got to fit looking after a baby in! Mind you, I guess i'll be on maternity leave then so will hopefully have a little more time...
  • gratefulforhelp_2
    gratefulforhelp_2 Posts: 9,286 Forumite
    edited 10 August 2010 at 1:13PM
    Mojisola wrote: »
    I've never understood this. If you're doing the best you can at the time, what on earth have you got to feel guilty about?

    You're either a male or very very fortunate and well-adjusted.:T eta or both!
    Please do not confuse me with other gratefulsforhelp. x
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    You're either a male or very very fortunate and well-adjusted.:T eta or both!

    Definitely female! I'd like to go for the well-adjusted - that sounds good.:rotfl:
  • *Louise*
    *Louise* Posts: 9,197 Forumite
    My rule is that once hubby finishes work - so do I!

    Except once a week when I do the ironing while watching my soaps, and chucking the odd wash in, my evenings are my own. To heck with rushing about cleaning while hubby relaxes in front of the tv lol.

    From next month my last one goes to nursery, so I will have 2 and a half hours every day to get all the cleaning done (in peace...bliss!) up till now I have just had to do stuff with them around my feet - as well as trying various distraction techniques lol.

    If the place gets a bit untidy - so what, it's mess not dirt. Plenty of time to have a showhome when they are all grown and gone :(
    Cross Stitch Cafe member No. 3
    2012 170-194 2013 195-207.Hello Kitty ballerina 208.AVA 209.OLIVIA 210.ELLA 211.CARLA 212.LOUISE 213.CHARLEY 214.Mother & Child 215.Stop Faffing Completed 2014 216.Stitchers Sampler. 217.Let Them Be Small 218.Keep Calm 219. Ups and downs 220. Annniversary piece 221. 2x Teachers gifts 222. Peacock 223. Tooth Fairy 224. Beth Birth pic 225. Circe the Sorceress Cards x 24
  • Jo_R_2
    Jo_R_2 Posts: 2,660 Forumite
    Ah well I'm not sure I have the balance just right... or ever will... but I've decided a few things on the way!

    I can't live in a tip (not that our house will ever be perfect!) but I have a little list of 'essential' chores that need doing every day (eg washing up, load of laundry, clean kitchen worktops) and anything else is a bonus:D

    I spend a bit of time with each one every day. This varies, might only be half an hour, but is a time where I can focus completely on that child. Usually involves lying on the floor playing some game or other, or even a snuggle up on the sofa watching and talking about a tv programme.

    I *have* to have time for me. We're quite strict about bedtimes and evenings are a very relaxed affair.

    I also realise it is very important to have quality time with OH - as important as spending quality time with the kids. I used to feel selfish for wanting this but I feel in so many ways it helps us to reconnect after the rigmarole/stress/routine of everyday life, and when I feel like that, I personally find it a lot easier to deal with life:)

    I also tell OH he can "go to his mums" if he wants an immaculate house/perfect dinner/T-shirts that aren't always shrunk/or always stay bright white:D Oh and the latest - a house where the saucepans don't always get left sat on top of the cooker til last when it comes to washing up (???) For that I told him I shall save all the washing up all day for when he gets in from work seeing as he will obviously do it so much better than me:D
    Dealing with my debts!
    Currently overpaying Virgin cc -
    balance Jan 2010 @ 1985.65
    Now @ 703.63
  • How do you balance the household chores (cooking, cleaning, laundry) playing with the kids, time for yourself and time for your OH and friends?

    If I abandon the house and play with the kids I get really stressed out by the mess that is accumulating. When I have a clean tidy house I feel really bad that I have had to ignore the kids to get on with it. My OH hardly gets any attention and I never seem to find the time or energy to shave my legs or read the paper and I'm a SAHM. I'd love to read a book or get some exercise to try to lose weight but if anyone ever offers to watch the kids for a wee while I take the opportunity to get back into bed for a wee sleep ( I am getting up in the night with a 3 month old I'm not just lazy lol)

    Does anyone feel like they get the balance right? How do you do it?

    I could have written that! I think we had our babies around the same time. I know it will get easier but it stresses me out. Everyone tells me to leave the housework but I have to do a certain amount like keep the bathroom clean, cook, wash etc I like the house to look ok (I don't attempt perfect) when people come round. If I know people are coming to visit I make a real effort, I'm embarrassed at the state of the house when most people pop by.

    A good example just happened :eek: I just got some housework done while ds had a nap as dd was happy in bouncy chair. I tidied up downstairs and mopped all the floors. I was so pleased with myself. I sit down to breastfeed dd and check this site on my phone - feeding her is now my only real sit down time while she is awake. .... Front door goes - I cover up and answer it. It's the man come to read the meters ... Ok I say not really thinking... I take him to the cupboard under the stairs
    :eek:

    omg .. I will have to clear a few items I say so he can get to meter!! Aregh!! Then he needs to get into garage :eek: x100!!! I took him to the garage and then asked for a card so hubby can do the Reading later and risk his life getting to it ;) but the worse but was the meter man then walked back through my kitchen with muddy shoes and the bit of housework I had done today was all undone by him in 2 seconds!!

    we are going to do a carboot this weekend to get rid of some stuff but
    arrrgghh!!!

    I will get organised one day ... Like when the kids leave home .. Maybe :o
    SAHM Mummy to
    ds (born Oct 2007) and dd (born June 2010)
  • Lara44
    Lara44 Posts: 2,961 Forumite
    Arrrrgh hugs to you money saving diva. Send your OH for a bottle of wine on the way home!
    :A :heartpuls June 2014 / £2014 in 2014 / £735.97 / 36.5%
  • LaraHoust wrote: »
    Arrrrgh hugs to you money saving diva. Send your OH for a bottle of wine on the way home!

    I wish I could but I breastfeeding and I don't drink when pregnant or feeding. I will ask for a bar of chocolate instead!

    Meant to also say that I use any time anyone gives me to sleep. I either lay there thinking about all the jobs I should be doing or I sleep and I then feel lazy and run around the house like a stressed out idiot trying to get housework done.

    I think most mums feel like this :o especially with preschool age children ?
    SAHM Mummy to
    ds (born Oct 2007) and dd (born June 2010)
  • nzmegs
    nzmegs Posts: 1,055 Forumite
    You want to try working from home full time during the holidays....my poor children, my poor work, my poor house. Nothing really gets done properly. The kids watch TV or play on their DS all day, the housework is done in a quick blur at 5pm. I exercise for an hour at 5.30pm then dinner. then finish work which wasn't done in the day. I have sorted it so I can take two afternoon off each week to take the kids out, but I am so knackered that I would prefer to stay at home in front of the telly.

    If I could go out to work things would probably feel easier. being able to switch off and all that. the joys of self employment I suppose.
  • but the worse but was the meter man then walked back through my kitchen with muddy shoes and the bit of housework I had done today was all undone by him in 2 seconds!!

    Complain to the company, thats just ignorant.
    Please do not confuse me with other gratefulsforhelp. x
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 454.2K Spending & Discounts
  • 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.5K Life & Family
  • 258.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.