Help please. Husband suspended from work. **Updated**

wuckfit

laurz121 wrote: »

My advice for the OP is to get a divorce and leave him as quick as possible. If he is willing to steal from behind his bosses back it makes you wonder what he's doing behind yours.

Don't fall for any crap about 'it was the first time'. It was the first time he has been caught stealing but I very much doubt it's the first time he's stole.

If he was my employee he would be dismissed straight away and would be given the worst reference in the history of references. Thieves are scum

And this fits in with the MSE etiquette "be nice to all Moneysavers" how exactly?

wuckfit

laurz121 wrote: »

Disagree, if it was a case of him being hungry why didn't he BUY a packet of crisps like the rest of the world has to? I used to work in a DIY store with dozens of toilets on display but if I was desperate for a number 2 I wouldnt do it in a display toilet. A child can get away with having no control over its bodily urges but an adult cannot.
If a man is gagging for sex you wouldn't excuse him if he raped a woman at a night club and explained he was gagging for it and hadnt had it for ages and all the women in the club were tempting him

Oh dear. This is so wrong I can't even believe I'm reading it.
(screen grabs it for later lolz) "internet keyboard feminist militant compares stealing bag of crisps to rape shocker!"

Yes, stealing a bag of crisps is wrong. That's not in question. It doesn't give you the right to insult our collective intelligence by comparing it to rape or a small child not being able to understand that the toilets in B&Q aren't plumbed in.
Having seen your other vitriolic posts, I don't understand why you post here. Either offer advice, or don't post. this place is not for passing judgment on others.

stelly

Hi guys,


Thanks so much for all the replys and support.

Except laurz121 - If i had wanted advice on my marriage i wouldnt have posted this on the Employment section and I most certainly wouldn't ask you for advice. Your head must be a very twisted place to be.


To all those wishing to know my husband was given 2 options -

1. Stay on supension for a week then be fired.

2. Hand in a letter of resignation and still receive a good reference from his Transport Manager (Im slightly shocked at how nice he has been to my husband).

Obviously he chose the second.

Not the outcome i was hoping for (wishfull thinking I know) but still so much better than it could have been.

At least now he can apply for new jobs without the 2+yrs gap in his employment history.

My boss thankfully has agreed to try and give me as many hrs as he can which will hopefully relieve the pressure slightly.

Thanks again.


Stelly

SarEl

I do not suppose that the option was made in writing or in front of a witness? Because I am not getting involved in the whole stealing right or wrong debate again. But what the manager has proposed is definitely wrong and unlawful. This is constructive unfair dismissal, and if you can prove the options offered, is a strong case (and there aren't many of the - usually due to lack of proof). The manager cannot say that he will be dismissed after a week - that is pre-judging the disciplinary hearing. He has been given the "option of resigning" not because they are nice people but because they are not certain that they will get a fair dismissal out of this and want to avoid a claim of unfair dismissal.

blue_monkey_2

Maybe ring ACAS and see what they advise? Has he put the letter in yet?

stelly

I dont know.

I'm at work (lunch break + no credit in phone) so can't phone my husband.

He only txt to let me know but i can ask him when I get home and I'll let you know then.

wuckfit

SarEl wrote: »

I do not suppose that the option was made in writing or in front of a witness? Because I am not getting involved in the whole stealing right or wrong debate again. But what the manager has proposed is definitely wrong and unlawful. This is constructive unfair dismissal, and if you can prove the options offered, is a strong case (and there aren't many of the - usually due to lack of proof). The manager cannot say that he will be dismissed after a week - that is pre-judging the disciplinary hearing. He has been given the "option of resigning" not because they are nice people but because they are not certain that they will get a fair dismissal out of this and want to avoid a claim of unfair dismissal.

I had a feeling that the options of resign with a good reference or be sacked might happen. Your post is heartening to read in that it offers the possibility that the employer has completely screwed up the procedure.

Whilst not condoning what the OP's husband did (bloody stupid at best) it's good to see that there are some here willing to offer unbiased and constructive advice, regardless of the reason for the situation.

Sunshine12

laurz121 wrote: »

Disagree, if it was a case of him being hungry why didn't he BUY a packet of crisps like the rest of the world has to? I used to work in a DIY store with dozens of toilets on display but if I was desperate for a number 2 I wouldnt do it in a display toilet. A child can get away with having no control over its bodily urges but an adult cannot.
If a man is gagging for sex you wouldn't excuse him if he raped a woman at a night club and explained he was gagging for it and hadnt had it for ages and all the women in the club were tempting him

What a ridiculous comparison. :rotfl:

Uncertain

stelly wrote: »

Thanks so much for all the replys and support.

Except laurz121 - If i had wanted advice on my marriage i wouldnt have posted this on the Employment section and I most certainly wouldn't ask you for advice. Your head must be a very twisted place to be.


To all those wishing to know my husband was given 2 options -

1. Stay on supension for a week then be fired.

2. Hand in a letter of resignation and still receive a good reference from his Transport Manager (Im slightly shocked at how nice he has been to my husband).

Obviously he chose the second.

Not the outcome i was hoping for (wishfull thinking I know) but still so much better than it could have been.

At least now he can apply for new jobs without the 2+yrs gap in his employment history.

My boss thankfully has agreed to try and give me as many hrs as he can which will hopefully relieve the pressure slightly.

Thanks again.

SarEl's advice above is, as always, excellent but two related points....

What proof / guarantee does your husband have that they will honour the promise of a good reference?

He is entitled to minutes of the meeting so, providing they reflect this, that MAY be enough.

However, what they are proposing amounts to a compromise agreement. If your husband can PROVE that this is what has been agreed then it puts the firm in the worst of all positions. They have no protection against a constructive dismissal claim but have, in effect agreed a settlement even if it doesn't involve money. The firm can only avoid any claims by having a formal agreement drawn up and your husband receiving legal advice before signing. If he signs without this advice (and the advisor's certificate) then it is not binding.

If he has no proof of an agreement then, frankly, the offer may not be worth much.

It would be tempting to get some written proof of the reference agreement then launch a CD claim! Difficult as these are to win he may well be able to force some kind of settlement.

Uncertain

Judas wrote: »

Employment law isnt around to help out thieves on technicalities.

If the firm mess up and do not follow proper procedure then they leave themselves open to claim.

Although compensation may well be reduced for the reason you so bluntly delight in expounding, the firm would still have to defend the claim which will cost them time and money. For this reason they may well choose to settle once they find out they have erred.

This would be to the OP's benefit and that is what this forum is supposed to be about!