Help please. Husband suspended from work. **Updated**

Vader123

MrsE wrote: »

OP - could he say it was a one off, he had forgot his lunch & was starving & didn't have time too stop?

Are we still doing this?

Forgot lunch, was hungry, didn't have time, "its just a packet of crisps", "wheres the perspective" etc etc.

All excuses. He stole and even though its a 40p bag, its still means the trust has gone.

The OP has had good advice about grovelling and saying sorry.

Any attempt to start making excuses will not work.

Vader

achtunglady

My husband is a HGV driver too and does some supermarket store deliveries and DC deliveries and on many occasions there have been items which have fallen off roll cages and ended up on the floor of the lorry. The staff unloading the lorry won't even pick it up and put it back on the roll cage and when he tells his manager that theres a box of something or the other left from a delivery, depending on what it is of course he is told to keep it.

On the other hand, there is so much waste in supermarket deliveries, one box containing 24 small bottles of washing up liquid was refused because the box was bashed in but the product inside was intact and had no signs of blemish or spillage, husband was told by the person who he delivered it to to bin or or take it for himself, i mean its not like the box goes on display is it??

Vader123

achtunglady wrote: »

My husband is a HGV driver too and does some supermarket store deliveries and DC deliveries and on many occasions there have been items which have fallen off roll cages and ended up on the floor of the lorry. The staff unloading the lorry won't even pick it up and put it back on the roll cage and when he tells his manager that theres a box of something or the other left from a delivery, depending on what it is of course he is told to keep it.

On the other hand, there is so much waste in supermarket deliveries, one box containing 24 small bottles of washing up liquid was refused because the box was bashed in but the product inside was intact and had no signs of blemish or spillage, husband was told by the person who he delivered it to to bin or or take it for himself, i mean its not like the box goes on display is it??

The thread is not about supermarket waste, or "what to do if something falls on the floor".

Its about the OPs husband stealing something, and getting caught.

She has all the good advice she will need.

Vader

laurz121

My advice for the OP is to get a divorce and leave him as quick as possible. If he is willing to steal from behind his bosses back it makes you wonder what he's doing behind yours.

Don't fall for any crap about 'it was the first time'. It was the first time he has been caught stealing but I very much doubt it's the first time he's stole.

If he was my employee he would be dismissed straight away and would be given the worst reference in the history of references. Thieves are scum

laurz121

paulwf wrote: »

You are welcome to take the absolute black and white view. Only you can decide what your morals are.

I think there is a difference between stealing money and what happened in this scenario. Generally people that steal money will repeatedly steal as much as they can get away with and won't stop. In this case I think he just stole a packet of crisps because he was hungry and with a slap on the wrists I doubt he would do it again. I don't think it is a sign that you can't trust him in the future.

He shouldn't of done it but I don't think he thought it through, it was after all a packet of crisps. Chances are he is 99.9% of the time law abiding and wouldn't be tempted to ever take anything of value. More of a case of stupidity than a criminal mind.

His employers have the right to ruin his life and spend lots of time and money on a replacement. Or they could take a view on it and give him a final warning.

I don't think the family deserves to be ruined over a packet of crisps at the end of the day.

Disagree, if it was a case of him being hungry why didn't he BUY a packet of crisps like the rest of the world has to? I used to work in a DIY store with dozens of toilets on display but if I was desperate for a number 2 I wouldnt do it in a display toilet. A child can get away with having no control over its bodily urges but an adult cannot.
If a man is gagging for sex you wouldn't excuse him if he raped a woman at a night club and explained he was gagging for it and hadnt had it for ages and all the women in the club were tempting him

Googlewhacker

laurz121 wrote: »

Disagree, if it was a case of him being hungry why didn't he BUY a packet of crisps like the rest of the world has to? I used to work in a DIY store with dozens of toilets on display but if I was desperate for a number 2 I wouldnt do it in a display toilet. A child can get away with having no control over its bodily urges but an adult cannot.
If a man is gagging for sex you wouldn't excuse him if he raped a woman at a night club and explained he was gagging for it and hadnt had it for ages and all the women in the club were tempting him

Oh come on, I agree that it is a sackable offence but it is not comparable to rape.

And as for your other post I would hope your referance would be an honest one!

laurz121

Googlewhacker wrote: »

Oh come on, I agree that it is a sackable offence but it is not comparable to rape.

And as for your other post I would hope your referance would be an honest one!

No I don't think the crime is the same as rape, nowhere near really but I do think that the excuse used is very similar. 'I was hungry, the crisps were all around tempting me and i couldnt resist the urge' is very similar to 'I was horny, the girls were all around tempting me and I couldnt resist the urge'. So while no I dont think the crimes are comparable I do think the excuses are and both are rubbish.

And yes of course the referance would be honest, it would state that 'xxx started his employment with my company on [insert date] and was sacked on [insert date] for gross misconduct after he abused his position of trust and was found stealing from the company.'

achtunglady

Vader123 wrote: »

The thread is not about supermarket waste, or "what to do if something falls on the floor".

Its about the OPs husband stealing something, and getting caught.

She has all the good advice she will need.

Vader

The point i am making is that is a sackable offence for a 40p pack of crisps, that if they dont get sold will end up in the bin anyway due to best before dates, and the waste of products with no sell by/use by dates amounting to more than 40p

jamespir

although it seems ridiculous theft is theft whether it@ a 30p bag of crisps or a 320 pound tele hes lucky they have not called the police

INT1

laurz121 wrote: »

My advice for the OP is to get a divorce and leave him as quick as possible. If he is willing to steal from behind his bosses back it makes you wonder what he's doing behind yours.

Don't fall for any crap about 'it was the first time'. It was the first time he has been caught stealing but I very much doubt it's the first time he's stole.

If he was my employee he would be dismissed straight away and would be given the worst reference in the history of references. Thieves are scum

Thats very harsh!