Looks like I might have to go bankrupt after all

Toomuchdebt

I just can't do it-I can't feed my family (me and 4 kids and pets)on what's left over and have enough for petrol to get them to school(2 schools both over an hour's walk away but not entitled to transport as they're not the nearest schools).I don't have enough for the minimum payments this month.OH is 50 miles away and not working at the moment so can't help out and in any case I don't know if we're going to be together much longer(his choice not mine as we had some big arguments a few weeks ago and now he doesn't know if he wants to be with me or not).I just can't do it.If Abbey/MBNA would agree to reduce payments I could manage but they won't.I have nothing worth selling.I won £28 on the free bingo but haven't got it in my bank account yet.I have a credit card bill due for £173 and all I have is £169 and £30 of that has to go to my other account to put towards the rent.My budget looked good on paper but it doesn't work that way.Now that I have one child at senior school I have to spend more on petrol.I just can't do this alone.I'm sitting here crying and I just don't know what to do.My phone bill is £43 this month instead of £25 because I rang my children a few times when they were on holiday.I hate myself for getting in this mess.What do I do????I have no defaults or arrears yet.I hate myself today.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Surely your OH should pull his finger out, get a job and support his kids

shayshay

If your not with a DMP then get on one now. I used to beat myself up about it and thought about justing getting opn a plane and see what happens from there but now I dont worry about the calls or the letters and at the end of the day Abbey and MBNA etc will prefer dribs and drabs than nothing at all. So whilst you have realised what you owe take that next step and get some professional help which will help find that extra for petrol etc.

climbgirl

Don't rush into anything like bankruptcy. Post your SOA (your incomings and outgoings - all of them. Every debt, every bit of income, everything you spend) and your full budget on this board. People will help you cut back and point out things you may not have seen yourself.

You say your budget isn't working in practice so it needs to be rejigged so that it does, we can help with that. But we need more info!

Toomuchdebt

Bestthingsinlifearefree wrote:

Surely your OH should pull his finger out, get a job and support his kids

They're not his kids.He is looking for a job but there's nothing going at the moment and as he's from abroad there's not a lot to choose from.He has given me money when he has it but with the relationship being as fragile it is I'm not going to ask him for any-I don't want him thinking I only want him for any money he gives me.He knows my financial situation.

Toomuchdebt

shayshay wrote:

If your not with a DMP then get on one now. I used to beat myself up about it and thought about justing getting opn a plane and see what happens from there but now I dont worry about the calls or the letters and at the end of the day Abbey and MBNA etc will prefer dribs and drabs than nothing at all. So whilst you have realised what you owe take that next step and get some professional help which will help find that extra for petrol etc.

I'm not with anyone for a DMP-was hoping to do one myself-some credit cards have been reasonable-Abbey/MBNA haven't and unfortunately I have 2 cards with them-they say to contact them after 3 months and they will reconsider.

earwig

hi going bankrupt is hard but somtimes paying debt back when you havent got enough is even harder espcialy dealing with creditors who dont want to take lower payments phone the cccs they will adives you what to do

my oh phoned them when we was in debt and they told us to go bankrupt the judge even said somtimes you just have to give up and start again and allthough i do agree with the saying you spent it you should repay it i dont think this should be at the expisence of your basic living standers

if its a case of you can pay but dont want to then that wrong you should pay but if its i case of you cant paying and your famley are going with out to pay your creditor then you should consdier bankrupcty

like i said we have done it and i dont give a toss what people think of us for doing it we couldnt pay the debt any more we had a huge cut in money around a hundred pounds a week and it got to the point that we could pay a credit card payment or buy the weekly shop i brought the weekly shop and would every time we wouldnt get credit again and dont want it ethier so it works well for us but speak to someone else first and get all the facts to see if it would work for you
good luck

Toomuchdebt

climbgirl wrote:

Don't rush into anything like bankruptcy. Post your SOA (your incomings and outgoings - all of them. Every debt, every bit of income, everything you spend) and your full budget on this board. People will help you cut back and point out things you may not have seen yourself.

You say your budget isn't working in practice so it needs to be rejigged so that it does, we can help with that. But we need more info!

Already done a few weeks back and there is nothing I can cut down further than it already is-trouble is I don't know how much I'm going to spend on petrol a month until I have a full month of driving to school and at the moment it's only been a week.My ex husband used to take the kids Friday straight after school till Sunday evening.Now he takes them Thursday or Friday 5pm(so they get home from school starving and want to eat before they go) and brings them back Saturday or Sunday evening.I have reduced the pets food as much as I can-the dog's food now costs £5.50 for 10kg instead of £34.65 for 15kg.The cats are fussy and I'm trying wean them off the expensive food onto cheaper stuff but they are refusing to eat the cheaper stuff.Mobile phone I am on a contract for and have 2 months to go(it's £15 for 200 free mins and 500 free texts).I have just switched my gas and electric so hopefully that will be cheaper.I switched to telewest for phone and broadband and tv (£30 a month-my previous broadband by itself was £26.99) Car insurance is £300 a year.(Paid until June 2007)Home insurance is £12 a month(have looked for cheaper deals but had a burglary earlier this year so no cheaper ones available)Dog is insured for £10.36 a month(already spent over £800 on an operation this year so prefer to keep him insured-that's the cheapest quote I found.I will do a proper updated SOA tonight when the kids are in bed but there is just nothing to cut back on

*zippy*

:grouphug:

Hi Toomuchdebt

Sorry your having an awful day (((hug)))

Why not give the CCCS or Payplan a call today? I'm sure you'll feel better once you start the ball rolling, they will advise you on a DMP or bankruptcy.

Toomuchdebt

earwig wrote:

if its a case of you can pay but dont want to then that wrong you should pay but if its i case of you cant paying and your famley are going with out to pay your creditor then you should consdier bankrupcty

exactly-it's not that I don't want to-I would love to pay all this back-I just can't see how I can do it

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Toomuchdebt wrote:

They're not his kids.He is looking for a job but there's nothing going at the moment and as he's from abroad there's not a lot to choose from.He has given me money when he has it but with the relationship being as fragile it is I'm not going to ask him for any-I don't want him thinking I only want him for any money he gives me.He knows my financial situation.

OK let me amend that surely the kids real dad should pull his finger out and support his kids

not having a go, just saying dads should support their kids (emotionally / financially)