Desperate

tesuhoha

As soon as I saw that you had been refused the 0% cards it seemed obvious to me that you need to use your savings to pay off the debt. Pay off the highest rate cards first. Then you will be £5,000 in debt which is a whole lot better feeling than being £13,000 in debt. After that once you make the next payment you will dip below £5,000 and being only £4,000 something in debt will make you feel as if you've almost paid it off. As someone else said you are not earning anything on that £8,000 but you will use it wisely if it helps you to pay out less interest.

Most public sector jobs are still pretty secure and you are worrying about your mortgage with regard to your credit card debt anyway. Once you are debt free it will be much easier to save up again. I really think that using the savings is what you have to do.

RAS

unhappydebts wrote: »

My last credit card bill jus came in - the minimum paymets are £100 higher than they were last month.

take a deep breath - and another,.. and keep going.

OK?

Now can you find last month's credit card bill and then look at this months?

Can you tell us what the APR is on both bills, please.

tesuhoha

That will also reduce your minimum payments. You are breaking your heart over the debt and probably the interest you are paying but you can pay off some of it. Once the debt amount is smaller you could try to get a lower rate card and you might be accepted. Try to stay positive. Use your savings and you will feel much better.

unhappydebts

That means telling my husband the full amount and then we will have nothing in bank...I am such a stupid stupid cow...am so afraid. What have I done!!

unhappydebts

I think the apr is the same. We had an expensive month and I needed to use card so again it's my own stupid fault.

dumpy

Can you take five minutes and get a cuppa? As RAS says take some deep breaths.

It does all seem big and scary at the moment, but you need to break it down into little chunks.

Have you managed to do the SOA yet? If you needed to use your card again this month, then you need to look at what you are spending. A SOA will help you with this and the wonderful people here will help you with it.

One step at a time and try not to panic. When you start to take control and have a plan it will become easier.

Have you been back to your GP's recently?

tesuhoha

unhappydebts wrote: »

That means telling my husband the full amount and then we will have nothing in bank...I am such a stupid stupid cow...am so afraid. What have I done!!

The same thing happened to me when we were in debt. I tried to save up some money and when my husband realised we had savings he said to me that it was ridiculous to have savings while we were in debt and paying so much interest. So I paid it off and I felt much better afterwards.

Don't kid yourself that you have money. Thats what he said to me. If you are in debt you have no money. I don't think you should keep the amount from him as the strain is too much for you alone. He sounds quite sympathetic and supportive so really it would be better if he knew.

Please don't berate yourself and call yourself a stupid cow. However, you must do the right thing now. I don't know your rates, but I think you should get a calculator and work out the interest you are paying on £13,000 and then work out what it would be on £5,000. Whatever it is you are losing this money daily whilst you hesitate. Over the long time it takes for you to pay off the next £8,000 how much interest are you going to end up paying? You could save yourself that money. Talk it over with your husband. And cheer up - things are not as bad as you think.

moriarty888

Please, please, please don't panic about your mortgage and losing your home. When your deal ends you go on to the bank's variable rate which you can stay on for ever if you like. It's your choice to look for a better deal if there is one and go through credit checks etc.

At the moment you are really in a very good position, both you and your husband are working for the public sector where you get great redundancy packages, you have 8K in savings and you have each other. This debt it also not down to you alone, it's your husband's debt as well. He sounds like a lovely fella but he's just not taking this as seriously as you. You need to sit him down and tell him you are absolutely sick with worry and get those savings working for you by paying some debt off.

Once you get your SOA down you will be amazed at the money saving experts on here and all their advice. I know you don't believe it, but your debt is actually quite small in comparison to a lot of people on here. You'll get it paid off and think how BRILLIANT you will feel when you do, then you can start saving again and feel more secure.

And I promise you, you are not the first and you won't be the last to sit down on the floor and cry and think there is no light at the end of the tunnel. The people on here will hold your hand. You will get through this.

From this point on things will only get better.

Motivatedworkingmum

Hi, I don't normally post but I have just read your whole thread and from what I read your situation is totally solvable. You may not think so right now but believe me when I added up our debt we were £19,000 in debt and didn't even realise it! Little by little we have chipped away, taken inspiration from this site and all the very sensible advice on here, it CAN be done. You WILL do it but I think its very important you see you GP to help you 'clear' your head so you can tackle this problem, it won't be a problem for long as once you know what you can do about it, you will feel so empowered, and thats addictive in itself! Please see you GP and if it means some medication to help you along then so be it! It helps, thats what its there for and you'd be surprised who has a little help to get through lifes little challenges! I couldn't help wonder why your 'housekeeping money' is being used to clear debts? You cannot manage this on your own so please talk to your husband as there may be more money available than you think to clear this up. Together you can do it, but please keep coming back here as everyone here is here to help you and give advice, we have all been there and can all admit to overspending. Please calm down, try not to panic as this IS manageable. Are you able to post your SOA yet? I know its hard. This would really help us all here. Chin up luvvie, it will be alright, really it will. :grouphug:(another dodgy hug for you!)

dancingfairy

unhappydebts wrote: »

Ok, after having what I thought was a fairly positive week in terms of feeling a little more reassured I seemed to have spiralled back into a circle of "doom and gloom"....

I asked hubby to up my housekeeping by £150, all of which is going on my credit cards, so I am now paying more than the minimum payment, I reduced our weekly shopping this week by £40 and I scoured and scoured websites buying super cheap winter clothes in the sale for my wee one...not much but it is a start....

However, had a dip yesterday and have gone into freefall panic.... Our mortgage is a five year fixed rate, of which we are 2 years in...I suddenly started thinking, what if, we dont get to renew our mortgage in three years time because of my credit cards? We have never missed our payments and I have never missed a credit card payment (except one that was late when I was in the depths of my pnd) - can they do that? Is that likely?

Have now gone back to thinking we are going to lose our home and it will all be my fault, thus I have let my family down again...its all very well that we have a lovely home and lo has lovely stuff but it wont be lovely if we lose it all....total freefall panic....

Is this normal? Is this what happens when you have your "lightbulb" moment? Days of being in control and days of sheer and utter terror?

You've only been here a week and it sounds like you have made a brilliant start - paying more off the credit cards, cutting down on the shopping bill, trying to buy winter clothes when they are on sale.
It took time to build the debt up and it may take time to chip away at it. The credit card you have just received is from last month before you started to really get into the swing of things so things can only get better from now on.
I think it will take a little time for you to get your head around things and figure out that you can do this but it also sounds like there is also something else going on ie depression/pnd that is making things seem even more scary for you - despite the fact that actually you are getting things under control.
df