Any Funny Disability Related Stories?

hightara

my son mark who is now 12, used to mortify me everytime i went shopping. he is autistic, and calls it as he sees it.

some examples of wishing the ground would open and swallow me are:

why have you no legs? to a man with no legs
Granny will you leave us your mobile home when you die? - my mum roared with laughter and told him she didnt think she was going anytime soon.
when answering the door/phone, if asked if a member of the family are in, he says yes or no, and promptly shuts the door in their face, or puts the phone down
im a bit (okay alot ocd about tidiness) when visiting other peoples homes he has told me loudly that the toilet/kitchen is dirty, and why is their house all messy.
and finally............he told me, mum im staying with you and dad, and when you get old, i will put you in the old peoples home. then the house will be mine
(i think not mark, as the housing executive might have something to say about that)lol

and now for one of my own.....im bi-polar and whilst in hospital, i nipped outside for a smoke, just as the local bus was passing, i stood up pretending to be a visitor waiting to be let in, great idea thought i, until a patient beside me said, dont think that worked , as your bright pink pig slippers are kind of a give away............:eek:

DX2

hightara :rotfl: sounds so familiar "why has that lady got a beard" shhh you can't say that, "why not, it's true".

G-MIKI

I can't resist, when I go into a restaurant or some other establishment in my wheelchair, if I am met with
"Please take a seat"
my reply is
"If you don't mind I will keep this one".
:-)

G-MIKI

Oh, another one:

Travelling through an airport in my wheelchair and in a queue behind an attractive young lady we got into a conversation. There were no seats around so she joked she could sit on my lap. I wear calipers so I said she was welcome to but it might be a bit lumpy. I couldn't understand why the chap I was travelling with choked back a laugh - until I realised the potential double meaning.

Unfortunately the young lady disappeared rather quickly.

metalgal

11 years ago (aged 12) i was in a wheelchair and it was my first journey out in the chair. I went with my mum my aunt and her daughter with learning difficulties to Makro cash and carry. i decided that i wanted to go away on my own for a while and my mum agreed and said she would meet me at the bottom of the travelator as they were going upstairs in 15 minutes. 30 mins later i was still at the bottom and being 12 i had a mix of fear and independence, i decided to go and look for my mum up the stairs. to get upstairs they had a travelator thing for trolleys so not knowing i wheeled onto it. unfortunately i hadnt put the brakes on properly and i went one way the chair went another and i was lying on the moving thing. luckily my mum was on her way down the otherside and ran to the bottom and stopped it. i had cased quite a comotion and a crowd was gathering. my cousin with learning difficulties then proceeded to shout at the crowd "im a nurse let me through!" and then proceeded to do crowd control. i was carried down and put back into my wheelchair whilst my cousin was telling everyone how she was "nurse duffy sister of ward 4" i was mortified at the time but looking back now makes me fall over with laughter.

presleys_mummy

Ok, my story is slightly gross but it was v.funny. My daughter is 5 and has various problems and needs intermittent catheters. We went to longleat a few months back and I did her catheter before we went into the safari park. We didn't reckon on how long we'd actually be in the park though (3 kids all needed to get out and stroke the giraffes and feed Deer etc) the result being that in the middle of the lion enclosure my daughter announces she is wet. Cue lots of chopping and changing around in the car as I move her into the front passenger seat so I can do another catheter (hubby is by then sat on her booster seat in back) As she tried to lie down on the seat she got the giggles, and quite literally sprayed all the front of the car. Dash board, stereo, seat, floor you name it. I dread to think what the other cars thought as they drove past! My daughter still thinks this is hilarious, she very proudly tells everyone she meets all about it- the highlight being that Mummy had to travel all the way home sat on a carrier bag!

hightara

omg, hilarious at the shinanigans, ive havent laughted so much in ages

indigowarrior

My housing support worker: The problem is Rostaria your too nice.
Rostaria: Well I can be evil if I want to you know?
HSW: Really?
Rostaria: Yeah just ask my other personality....

snoopy89

m8 used to ride a bmw motorbike years ago. we used to train bikers. anyway we were at trffic lights one day whaiting for the lights to change to green. as he moved of his false leg fell on floor. i neary crashed with laughing.:rotfl::rotfl:

GlasweJen

First year at uni, first proper lecture and I have an epsiode and collapse without warning, lecturer just says "oh fcuk, not again" and carries on talking. Guy beside me realises I'm going blue, get me into recovery position, phones an ambulance etc.

So next week in the same lecture, lecturer starts with "and I need to apologise for last week, this is actually my first job as a lecturer and last week was my second ever public lecture - during my first someone actually fell asleep!"