Do you go to a day centre?

lilac_lady

I'm 62 and feel that I'm 20 years + away from going to a day care centre. I'm very self reliant and would dread going to one even though I can see the need for them if people are lonely.

There's a great difference between being alone and being lonely.

Mojisola

Volunteering at the day centre will help with a lot of her problems. She will make new friends. She'll be appreciated by the clients and will feel useful which will bolster her self-esteem. She'll see that other people have more problems than she does and that will put her situation in perspective. She will get plenty of chat and news from the other volunteers and have someone to share her thoughts with. She may even make friends that she can meet up with on other days. Encourage her to have a go.

balmaiden

I was assistant manager at a day centre for a number of years. The youngest members were in their sixties and usually were pretty fit, but were very lonely and really did benefit from attending. As they "came out of themselves" they began to feel useful again as we encouraged them to help us in whichever way they were able. If people are depressed through lonliness it is very difficult to push themselves to volunteer.

Age really became irrelevant after a while. There were just groups of like minded friends enjoying whatever was on offer. Sometimes just having a good old chinwag over a cup of coffee.

Some people are ready for day centres in their sixties and some come for the first time in their nineties, still protesting that they are really too young to be there.

All day centres are different, we offered the usual scrabble, bingo, quizzes etc. We also had art lessons, access to computers, needlework classes, knitting and crochet classes. many outings were organised throughout the year. We had hairdresser and chiropody visits, a small shop, a library service and a freshly cooked two course lunch.

Not for everyone, I know, but a worthwhile service for some.

margaretclare

From what you write, Balmaiden, it sounds as if the whole idea of 'day centre' has got a bad press. The type of scenario you describe would certainly be a good option for anyone who is 'lonely', of whatever age. It would be a far better option than making constant demands on family, who are likely to have other pressing concerns than constantly phoning mum, as seemed to be the expectation in another thread here.

I am not yet 'lonely' but who knows, the time may come. I did once enquire about the day centre nearest to where I live. One thing that put me off was its name, which was on the minibus used to collect people from the outlying villages: 'The Old People's Welfare Committee'. The next thing that put me off was the remark from those running it: '.....and, of course, there's bingo'. It was that 'of course' that put the lid on it for me.

Mojisola

margaretclare wrote: »

From what you write, Balmaiden, it sounds as if the whole idea of 'day centre' has got a bad press. The type of scenario you describe would certainly be a good option for anyone who is 'lonely', of whatever age. It would be a far better option than making constant demands on family, who are likely to have other pressing concerns than constantly phoning mum, as seemed to be the expectation in another thread here.

I am not yet 'lonely' but who knows, the time may come. I did once enquire about the day centre nearest to where I live. One thing that put me off was its name, which was on the minibus used to collect people from the outlying villages: 'The Old People's Welfare Committee'. The next thing that put me off was the remark from those running it: '.....and, of course, there's bingo'. It was that 'of course' that put the lid on it for me.

I don't get it either, margaretclare. Why is it that it seems accepted that anyone over a certain age wants to play bingo? That kind of attitude would put me off going to the group too.

I suppose that's why it's important that younger retired people get involved as volunteers with these groups. They will then have the chance to change them to places that they wouldn't mind going to when their time comes.

balmaiden

Absolutely right Mojisola, day centres do need younger people either as clients or volunteers, as new "young" blood certainly bring new ideas. Day centres need to evolve and not stagnate. When I first started working at the daycentre they had bingo three times a week!!! I can proudly say that I gradually brought in the changes I listed in my above post.

Daycentres, in my opinion, are very much needed in all areas. I live in an area where many people come to retire, sometimes leaving family and friends miles away. Then the inevitable happens one partner dies the other is left alone and lonely. Day centres really do give people their lives back.

Sadly cut backs are biting hard and many daycentres are closing their doors, a very sad situation in my eyes.

chesky369

With the current government's 'big society' plans to use more and more volunteers, people with more time on their hands are going to be in great demand. Helping at the day centre, instead of being a consumer, sounds a great idea to me.

roy_harper

I'm just wondering if the local church has any groups?
There are many ladies in our parish who volunteer to help at mother and toddler groups, visiting hospitals, keep-fit etc. as well as forming deep friendships for the stormy times and the quiet ones.