Do you go to a day centre?

dandy-candy

My mum lives alone and gets very depressed and lonely. The family pop by as often as possible and each phone her 4/5 times a day but she says she gets lonely in the quiet moments. She's 68 and there is a day centre quite near but she doesn't feel old enough to go to one. I did look in and they have tea and biscuits, and watch slide shows, play scrabble etc. Does anyone here attend one and could you maybe tell me what sorts of things they do and if you actually enjoy it/would recommend it? Thank you

Farway

No idea on your Mum's fitness levels etc, but I am 67 [male] and would think I am much too young TBH when I consider those I do see there

What I do however is help as a volunteer there [Age Concern] running a Family History group

I know ours is always on look out for volunteers, be it making tea, helping on computers, transport helper, or just general helping out

Maybe if she looked into it and got out & met people that way?

Errata

If your mum is mobile then she'll be far less lonely and feel fulfilled if she can volunteer. Age Concern is a good place to make enquiries, as is a local Hospice and local hospitals are always short of volunteers.
She may be right feeling she's too young for a day centre. They tend to cater for people a lot older than your mum.

Savvy_Sue

My mum goes to one regularly but she's quite a bit older and not particularly mobile. She doesn't join in all the activities but she runs the weekly whist drive. They have useful services there, for example she uses their hairdresser.

I sometimes join her there for lunch, and they're not all THAT old!

aloise

my god, she is far to young for that. Try getting her to be a volunteer for charity shops or the local hospital. My friend who is in her 60s goes to bingo. Never did before and always said she hated bing,but it gets her out and apparently a group of them go into the town for a strol and for a coffee. Just might be worth suggesting this.

chesky369

I'm 66 and I'm MUCH too young to go to a day centre. I'm a volunteer adviser with CAB - only started about 2.5 years ago, so I'm sure she could find something fulfilling to help with in her area.

Farway

Another thought for meeting more people, try the local U3A [University of 3rd Age]

Ignore the University bit, it does not involve taking exams or back to school

Depending upon your local one, such things as line dancing, garden visits, theatre trips, walking, book clubs, photography, local history learn French, The list is endless

http://www.u3a.org.uk/

margaretclare

I'm going to be 75 very shortly and I feel MUCH too young to go to a day centre!!

Having said that, I don't know what you can say to someone who gets visits from family on a regular basis, phone calls 4 or 5 times a day, and still complains of feeling lonely?

The best resource we all have is within ourselves, and IMHO a large part of the art of living is learning to live within our own resources (I don't mean financial resources!) enjoying things we can do for ourselves and not relying all the time on other people to allay 'loneliness'. Self-sufficiency I suppose I mean.

alanq

Clubs such as the WI or an Active Retirement Association may be worth considering.

datostar

margaretclare wrote: »

I'm going to be 75 very shortly and I feel MUCH too young to go to a day centre!!

Having said that, I don't know what you can say to someone who gets visits from family on a regular basis, phone calls 4 or 5 times a day, and still complains of feeling lonely?

The best resource we all have is within ourselves, and IMHO a large part of the art of living is learning to live within our own resources (I don't mean financial resources!) enjoying things we can do for ourselves and not relying all the time on other people to allay 'loneliness'. Self-sufficiency I suppose I mean.

And self-reliance, perhaps? I think if somebody kept ringing me up 4 or 5 times a day I'd get a bit short-tempered!

margaretclare

datostar wrote: »

And self-reliance, perhaps? I think if somebody kept ringing me up 4 or 5 times a day I'd get a bit short-tempered!

Yes, self-reliance definitely. I assumed that was all part of what I was trying to express, because there are always going to be times during life when there is no one else around to take responsibility for things that need seeing to or still less, for one's emotional and social needs. However, I thought that the OP was saying the 4 or 5 calls were from different family members, not the same one, and that this was what the Mum welcomed and expected.