Difficult Ex and need my name removed from mortgage

nicnak01_2

Hello There. I hope someone could help and point me in the right direction here, I apologise as this is a pretty long story.

Me and my ex split in July 2007, we tried to live togther for ease of finances/mortgage etc but he was just too difficult. I moved out and did not contribute to the mortgage as I was paying rent elsewhere, this was his idea as much as mine. Since then I have been trying to either get my name removed or for him to sell but he just won't do anything. When back in 2007 the house has about 7 grand positive equity I was happy to walk away with nothing, yet he just couldn't be bothered to sort it out. The in Jan 2008, he met another women and moved her and her two children in without me even knowing, they have since had 2 other children. He said he did apply to have my name removed and her to take over but morgage lender refused as she does not work and is on benefits, they also wanted to see 3 years books as he is self employed and he hasn't got these and doubt he will ever have!! He also does not want to sell as he can't be bothered with the hassle of uproating all the tribe. I know we are now in negative equity about 10k with the recession. I want to move on with my new partner and to get a morgage with him but is there anyway I can do this with out my ex's doing something. He is quite happy to plod along with me on the mortgage...anything for an easy life? Also he is only paying interest only on our house as I agreed to this in 2007 to help him, we still owe 120K!! What are my options? Thanks in advance.

Richard_Webster

I want to move on with my new partner and to get a morgage with him

First point - and I know it is all hindsight - but have you really deeply searched your heart about how far you trust this new partner not to do the same to you? Is he prepared to marry you? If he isn't then why take on such a major commitment as buying a property together?

Don't believe all the stuff about it costing £10,000 to get married - that's just all wedding industry hype - if you really want to get married you can do it much more cheaply than that!

In order to sell your ex would have to find the shortfall and might well want you to contribute as a condition of doing that. If you wanted to do something about it legally it would cost a very large amount to go to court to have a sale ordered and then it might well be a condition that you contributed some of the shortfall. Your only chance is to let your new partner take out the mortgage on his own and wait until your ex does want to sell. At that point, if he is desperate you will be in a stronger negotiating position.

Because people can get into these awful no win situations I just wish that more couples would look at forums such as MSE and see threads like this, so they think much more deeply about the commitment that each has to the other before they buy property together - because once you have done so sometimes there is no easy way out.

poppysarah

Without wanting to be mean to your ex - but if his new OH claims benefits whilst living with him, then is she doing that legitimately?

He's had three years to sort this out.

You should point him in the direction of
http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2010/jun/20/mortgage-warning-unmarried-couples
Mortgage warning for unmarried couples as ex-partner gets half of house

Ex-boyfriend entitled to half share 17 years after split even though he did not pay mortgage, appeal court rules

clairetelche1

Hi

Sorry to hear you're in such an awkward position! My partner was in a similar one - fairly easy to sort in the end. He went to a solicitor (I know this costs but hey hum - no way round it really) and explained the situation. He was happy to walk away with nothing too. The solicitor sent the ex a letter saying she had 2 weeks to start proceedings for getting another mortgage otherwise they would push for a house sale (perfectly legal to do it - yuo still own half the house).

In the end the ex sorted it and he didn't have to push the sale. It's amazing what someone can sort out when they really have to. Harsh when there are children involved but if they want to stay in the house they need to secure themselves financially - which may involve the new partner finding a job, you have the right to move on too.

As for the new partner - no one got anywhere in life hedging their bets, if it feels right go for it - lots of people choose not to marry these days and you and your new partner will have equal rights with or without a wedding!! Good luck x

nicnak01_2

Hi Richard, I was 23 when I met my EX, very young, very very foolish and I have had a hard lesson to learn. I'm 30 now a bit wiser (I hope) and I honestly think it would be different with my new partner. We have been together 3 years and I would go about getting a new mortgage with much more caution. I do want another mortgage and don't want to waste money on renting all my life, If I could afford to buy a house myself I would but can't.

nicnak01_2

Hi Claire, I have been to see a solictor and he said I would not be able to force a sale without his approval, I have already tried that angle, didn't work for me. I am thinking of turning up with my suitcase and saying I am moving in until we get this sorted, by law there is nothing he can do and I doubt he wants me lliving there!! I don't want to do that but desperate measures and all that!

Jowo_2

Courts can order a property to be sold. Find another solicitor that's a bit more helpful to get an idea of how much this would cost to proceed if your ex is sent a letter from a solicitor giving him a short deadline to sort out the mortgage and he doesn't comply.

http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/families_and_relationships/relationship_breakdown/options_for_homeowners/going_to_court

EDIT - found another link which says a forced sale is unlikely when there is negative equity or where children are involved.

http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/families_and_relationships/relationship_breakdown/options_for_homeowners/court_orders

An alternative to moving in would be to tell him you are taking out a large secured loan against the property...

jockosjungle

Ask the new woman for rent on your half of the property?

MobileSaver

nicnak01 wrote: »

I am thinking of turning up with my suitcase and saying I am moving in until we get this sorted, by law there is nothing he can do and I doubt he wants me lliving there!! I don't want to do that but desperate measures and all that!

You would hope that if threatened with you (and your new partner!) moving into the property then your ex may see sense.

Set a deadline and hopefully your ex will start the ball rolling without you having to move in. If he doesn't then I would actually move in (but then I do things on principle) as I am sure all of you in one house will very quickly make him change his tune.

The downside of course being that if you are in negative equity you will both have to stump up any shortfall.

nicnak01_2

Thanks for the info to everyone. I think the move in is the last resort but one I have to do!

Zazen999

I had this exact same situation. I tried all I could to get my name removed [including driving 400 miles round trip, and dropping the paperwork thought the door but apparently he didn't get it]. :rolleyes:

Come him losing his job 15 years later, and his mother finding me through an old telephone number....and getting a call at a new place of work [google can be your friend] he wanted to sell up and had found a buyer. I refused to sign anything until an agreement was reached. His solicitor then agreed not to release funds until an agreement was reached, and I got 40% of the final equity after holding out for 10 months...which was worth £30k to me. I hadn't paid the mortgage for 13 years, however him refusing to take my name off the mortgage and frustrating the situation when I had done all I could to remove my name - and thus having to pay rent all those years was the argument and it worked.