Where do we buy?

TBeckett100

Ok, seems a funny question.

I work in X and my journey from my current home is 52 miles each way. OH is about 30 miles each way. We are looking for a new home.

We have an 18 month old and my OH works 3 days a week. On Sundays we drop little one off at nannys and I drive a 120 mile round trip to pick her up Tues nite. OH is at home weds and thurs and fri when she is back to work she goes to a local nursery.

One of the considerations in moving is the fact that little one will be going to school in a couple of years and will need dropping off at 9am and collecting at 3pm. If we move nearer nanny, then as she works nights, she would be able to do the drop off/pick ups to fit her schedule as we would both be gone from home by 7am and not back till 6pm. However this move means my journey becomes 45 miles each way and the OH becomes 60 miles each way. OH will switch jobs.I cant afford to move to my work location nor would I leave my job as it is a job for life.

How do people manage generally if family are not on the doorstep? One thing we are considering is moving a bit nearer both work places, but it means the school issue may be problematic. do we rack up our mortgage to move nearer to work, or have less mortage and be nearer to family?

Mum_of_3_3

My parents live 150 miles away, so we can't rely on them for childcare and my oh's Mum can't drive and lives about 15 miles away so we can't rely on her either.

What do we do? We live in a smaller property than we would like to so that we can afford for me to work part-time only. As my youngest doesn't go to school yet, she goes to a nursery for 3 days a week, which isn't great financially, but as an accounts assistant I have to 'keep my hand in' as tax laws etc change so quickly.

Does you MIL know about your idea to do the school run for you? You do realise that only gives her 6 hours sleep a day max :eek: I really wouldn't want to put any of my family under that sort of pressure.

Seeing as your MIL's town is nearer to your work than your home at present, why don't you move to your MIL's town ask her if she can do school drop off and your wife work from early in the morning to school pick-up time.

Just remember - do you want your child's memories to be of living in big houses and how much money Mummy & Daddy made, or would you like them to be filled with going to the park after school, spending time with you both etc? If so then move to your MILs town or one of you work school hours, if you want her to have the former sort of memories keep doing what you're doing!

M_o_3

Doozergirl

That doesn't sound like much of an enjoyable life to me. You are struggling to find a solution to simply provide care for your baby - where does the quality time fit? I'd change something else. Whether that is living near to your family, one of you working nearer to home or less hours I don't know but our life was a bit like that and I luckily realised that it wasn't fair on our child and it was also very hard on our relationship.

I gave up my job and we moved 100 miles. We are much happier now. We had less money for a while but we had a much better quality of life; now we have more money and an even better quality of life.

Sphynx

Also from the perspective of your baby, who is going to be around when school ring to say she is ill? Bit hard on Nanny to have to get up again to fetch a sick child. Sounds like something needs to give here, and it needs to be something which will ensure your baby has good quality time with at least one of her immediate family.

Doozergirl said it better than me

CloudCuckooLand

Doozergirl wrote: »

That doesn't sound like much of an enjoyable life to me...

100% agree...

Definitely needs a re-think on the life/work balance.

Location comes into that, but may not be the No.1 element.

Eric1

TBeckett100 wrote: »

One of the considerations in moving is the fact that little one will be going to school in a couple of years and will need dropping off at 9am and collecting at 3pm. If we move nearer nanny, then as she works nights, she would be able to do the drop off/pick ups to fit her schedule as we would both be gone from home by 7am and not back till 6pm.

Too much pressure/uncertainty on both nanny and you.
What about a paid childminder, before or after school?

TBeckett100

thanks, OH will eventually move job nearer so temp solution, just at the moment it doesnt seem the best time to change jobs as people are just glad to be in work.

PasturesNew

You have two choices:
- if the cost of childcare is less than one person's takehome + work journey, then get childcare
- if not, give up the job and get a different job evenings/weekends, when the other parent can do the childcare

To think of moving, involving other people's lives - and everybody covering vast distances daily - is simply not sensible. Nobody will enjoy it.

LandyAndy

PasturesNew wrote: »

You have two choices:
- if the cost of childcare is less than one person's takehome + work journey, then get childcare
- if not, give up the job and get a different job evenings/weekends, when the other parent can do the childcare

To think of moving, involving other people's lives - and everybody covering vast distances daily - is simply not sensible. Nobody will enjoy it.

When our children were small we used childminders because a) MrsLA was well paid and b)She would have gone mad stuck at home all day.

maria6259

TBeckett100 wrote: »

Ok, seems a funny question.


We have an 18 month old and my OH works 3 days a week. On Sundays we drop little one off at nannys and I drive a 120 mile round trip to pick her up Tues nite. OH is at home weds and thurs and fri when she is back to work she goes to a local nursery.

I dont quite get this - child goes to nanny from Sunday till Tuesday, OH is at home Weds, Thurs, Friday and when she is back to work she goes to a local nursery?? Which days are those then?

One of the considerations in moving is the fact that little one will be going to school in a couple of years and will need dropping off at 9am and collecting at 3pm. If we move nearer nanny, then as she works nights, she would be able to do the drop off/pick ups to fit her schedule as we would both be gone from home by 7am and not back till 6pm. However this move means my journey becomes 45 miles each way and the OH becomes 60 miles each way. OH will switch jobs.I cant afford to move to my work location nor would I leave my job as it is a job for life.

As a grandmother myself, I think it's too much to get nanny to work nights AND take child to school and pick her up. She will be exhausted. The days when family looked after young 'uns for working parents have gone, most grandparents are still working and unable to offer much in the way of child care. I can only suggest either a local childminder or, as others have said, an improved work-life balance.

Lucywu2012

I feel sorry to hear that. If so, I suggest you to change your jog. Nowaday, none can do a job as a lifelong work. Consider your families, you must put much time to get toghter with them. Chang your job, and think much, you will solve the problem!