Where are these nasty people coming from?

frenchconnection200

Just recently people asking for help are getting a lot of stick. Why are people being so offensive to people who are asking for help?
The poor guy whose GF had dropped 10 grand of debt on him somehow became the one at fault, someone else had their thread frozen after people became abusive towards them and poor Up the creek is apparantly going to bring the country down.
What is going on?

Chrismojam

Sadly, some people find it easier to attack than to help....they jump to conclusions without looking into or 'listening' proplerly...and then just go on the offensive......and some people just seem to like to cause ructions and bad feeling.........can't get away from them really...whether in real life or in the 'virtual' community....

I posted a similar post to yours a while ago, because I was feeling that some people were being horrible for no reason at all..it happens.....like someone said at the time.......everyone has different opinions about things.......you can't expect everyone to have the same as you and you have to be prepared for those opinions which are totally opposed to your own or cause offense.....however, you don't have to reply to them and make more of them if you don't wish to......but sometimes you do feel compelled to reply!

Dr.Shoe_2

Personally, unless the OP is being perticularly offensive or nasty I generally refrain from posting. There have been cases where people have moved several times and changed their names and then asked us for advice for dealing with the DCA when they've eventually caught up with them! The general question is: "what steps can I take to avoid my responsibilities?"

I have nothing against people having genuine difficulties, even if they've brought them on themselves, but I agree that some people seemed to get flamed for no reason.

BT_man

Chrismojam wrote:

everyone has different opinions about things.......you can't expect everyone to have the same as you and you have to be prepared for those opinions which are totally opposed to your own

I think you hit the nail on the head.
It's not all <<<hugs>>> in the real world.

youngandreckless

I think some people like to debate and challenge people, but don't do it in a very user friendly way! I think alot of the things that are discussed on here have the potential to provoke very passionate responses and it is inevitable that there will be disagreements and conflict.

If people are becoming abusive or overly critical the best bet is just to ignore them. They can't have a one sided argument and there is the risk of the initial post being swamped by a slanging match and the point being missed.

It is worth remembering that you can't always get your tone understood when posting and it is easy to misinterpret - especially if you're stressed / upset / emotionally vulnerable. Unless a poster is being blatantly horrible, I try and give everyone the benefit of the doubt, most people on here are supportive and those that aren't will get the hint if they're ignored.

Chrismojam

BT_man wrote:

I think you hit the nail on the head.
It's not all <<<hugs>>> in the real world.[/QUOTE]

Wouldn't it be wonderful if it was ...but very wierd:p

There can be no good things going on in the world if there are no bad things to compare it with...apparently..I read that somewhere....personnaly I would rather many more good things happened but how on earth would we get to hear about them..........we all know what the news is full off! but still I watch it all the time:rolleyes:

Chrismojam

youngandreckless wrote:

I think some people like to debate and challenge people, but don't do it in a very user friendly way! I

If people are becoming abusive or overly critical the best bet is just to ignore them.

It is worth remembering that you can't always get your tone understood when posting and it is easy to misinterpret - especially if you're stressed / upset / emotionally vulnerable.

Point 1 ....Very true....I mean sometimes I (who I have to say am not confrontational in the slightest........unless provoked.....)...will re-write a post just in case it causes offense....others don't..

Point 2...also true..but if they get your back up...how many of us ignore it...

Point 3...true again....this has happened in some posts.......actually happens more in real life for me!! I can be face to face with someone and I will be misnderstood.........or rather seen as confrontational........I tend to think being straight forward and to the point is a good thing....others don't:rolleyes:

Broken_hearted

Under a rock

tee_pee_2

i have posted things then checked it and thought S*** that sounds horrid and re wrote it. I like to hope that people are being thoughtless as opposed to just being an ar** but some folk like to argue and love to come on here and rip other to shreds.

The best thing is to ignore it, but when you have bared your soul on here it is v difficult to read what other people have put about you.

In my humble opinion the best solution is to keep on posting yes you will get the sh**heads but on this site there are more nicer/helpful people than nasty ones.

Chrismojam

Broken_hearted wrote:

Under a rock

I'm sorry ..you've lost me???:rolleyes:

livinginhope

Have to agree that there have been some 'nasties' on here lately,I received some nasty PMs from a couple of people too chicken to 'speak' to everyone else,I decided I didn't want to post on here any longer as a result.
Now however,I realise there are much more genuine people on here than nasties so am giving it another go,thanks guys!