Very Quiet Child......Only at School

mrcow

The thing is that we can't all be Jeremy Paxman. Does the teacher understand that? You daughter is perhaps not as confident in talking in front of 30 other people. As a child, I certainly wasn't either - found it excrutiatingly embarrassing - I only came out of my shell once I'd turned 13 or so. Now, no one can shut me up and I'd one of the first to volunteer as spokeperson for anything. Maybe your daughter is a little more emotionally developed (for want of a better description) and is more self-concious about saying something that will draw attention. I went to a (very good) grammar school and we had quite a few of the Oxbridge candidates who were the same - they all did just fine!

One thing I will say is that a change of teacher can make a MASSIVE difference. As can the summer holidays. Let her start next year. She may feel more comfortable with the new set up and teacher. Find out what day of the week show and tell is and send her in with something she'd be excited about.

I really wouldn't force it - you could make it worse. Don't make an issue and stop worrying - teachers can have odd expectations sometimes. I remember a particular teacher getting in a right twist about my son not reading or acting with enough "expression". She must have told me half a dozen times - in the end I just said "Well, Michael Caine seems to have done alright, so maybe he'll survive". She never mentioned it again (and there's NOTHING wrong with my son's expression or reading - far from it!).

Mrs_P_Pincher

We had this all through school - on every report it would say that DD2 did not contribute to class discussion, did not answer questions etc etc and a lot was made of this at parents' evenings until we were all paranoid about it. Tomorrow DD2 graduates from one of our top universities with first class honours - still doesn't say much though...

I never said anything in class either, but then I was unnaturally shy - just couldn't do it. Can pick up a mic and deal with a room full of people now - no problem.

I'd say don't worry - they're all different and provided everything else is OK.

Mrs P P

Rainey_LB

Thank you all for your advice, what my main issue was with, is how the class teacher had repeatedly told me there was no longer an issue, I had stopped by the classroom many times at the end of the day throughout the year and I was told told my DD was talking normally within class and joining in discussions & answering questions......only for her school report to come home and say that she actually wasn't!!

I decided to let myself calm down and think about how I would like the situation managed, seeing as I know her best and then to approach the school. I think this was the best thing to do, I spoke to the Head at the end of school today very informally, just explained I was a little concerned about my DD still not really communicating in school although she does everywhere else now. It is now going to be monitored and the Head is going to speak to the SENCO to see if she along with her new class teacher can come up with some ideas for encouraging and including her, rather than just labeling her as the quiet girl and accepting that she doesn't talk.

So I am pleased with this, all I have ever wanted is for my children to have every opportunity that is available to them and get as much as they can out of their education so they have as many choices as possible later on in life.

mrcow

How old is she now? Is she 5? If so, have you thought about enrolling her in Rainbows (the precursor to Brownies) it can help with mixing and they do badges and challenges etc? Just something to perhaps think about?

wornoutmumoftwo

My 6 year old has global development delay, whispered his way though nursery and was deferred from entering school for a year.
He's just finished P1, and no longer whispers, he talks quietly now, which is a big leap forward for him.

At his school he going into a sort of nurture group a couple of times a week, a small group which has brought him on a lot. I think he lacks a lot of confidence (unlike his autistic older brother who doesn't know the meaning of the word shy).

In the class they work in small groups as well, and I think he's a little in awe in the whole class situation.

Rainey_LB

mrcow wrote: »

How old is she now? Is she 5? If so, have you thought about enrolling her in Rainbows (the precursor to Brownies) it can help with mixing and they do badges and challenges etc? Just something to perhaps think about?

She is 6, I have suggested Rainbows but she wasn't keen, she has swimming lessons and has no problem with speaking there!! When the teacher asks her to put her face in the water she laughs and says no very loudly!! lol... must feel more comfortable there and there are only 6 in her group I guess.

She did ballet from when she was 3 until recently, she got a bit bored with it and we couldn't really afford it so she stopped going.