Advice please re: Married/separated

Hi, looking for advice ref ex rat of a spouse, on behalf of a friend.

Basically got married 2009, went into armytraining two weeks after the wedding.
Came home for the odd weekend for first six months then apparently had to work most weekends and couldn't get any leave.
Found out recently this person has found someone else and has been staying at theirs when on leave (a lot of sick leave and still only in the training stage).
For the last 11 months Friend was under the impression army wage was very low training wage so has been surviving on hand outs plus family allowance for one toddler, in support of him doing what he always wanted, he's 28ish.
He has been saying he could not afford to send money to pay for his child and never has in the last year he's been in the army.
Now that new info has come to light about him living a double life, would like to know in your opinion what the army would have to say ? plus is it true ie: low wage with no financial support for spouse.
Thank you in advance for any insight/information.


  • hi

    Am sorry to hear about your friend and not sure if am the right person to advise but my oh is just finnishing his training and yes the wage is low but it isnt that low about £800 a month and yes once they leave training and get posted the wage does rise but not sure to how much as i think it depends on what job and rank etc so he still should have been able to send your friend something. Has your friend tried contacting the welfare officer where he oh is based to see what they can do or at least what advise they can give her?
  • Skint_LynneSkint_Lynne Forumite
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    As she is married, she can get in touch with the families officer - he will get into trouble over this, it sounds as if he deserves it though!

    I'm not sure what they get when they just come out of training, my DH gets not a bad wage, but he is high up the ranks.

    Good luck to your friend, I think that she is as well getting rid of this waster. xx
  • Thank you for your reply's. I will try and get her to contact Families officer, but to be honest only God knows why, she is still very protective of him.
    He lies constantly about where he is, always saying he's working when we know he is 200 miles from work and only a couple of miles from his wife & child.
    Dont know if the women he is with now actually knows he's leading this kind of double life, or if indeed he's informed the army.
    He is just a lying rat.
  • vic_sf49vic_sf49 Forumite
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    I can't post hyperlinks on here as I'm a newby, but google the following:

    Armed Forces Pay Review Board 2010.

    Skip down to page 60 /88 (as seen in my Adobe Reader) or the actual page number in the AFPRB is 50. That details the recommended wages for all services, and the military tends to follow that to the letter. If he's in training still, it'd depend on what rank he currently held, but scroll to the next page, and it says new entrants get £13645. So at least that, but possibly in the 17k range.

    Take out of that food & accom, tax & NI, and I suspect the 2nd poster in this chain wouldn't be too far off the money if he was on the 13.5k salary.

    Has your friend approached the Child Support Agency (is it still called that?)? If she's owed money to support the nipper they'll take it from his wages automatically (they might do that in civvie street too - no idea).
  • Alias_OmegaAlias_Omega Forumite
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    Welcome to the forum.

    I am sure that somewhere i have read that if a serviceman / women is married, they have to support there partner / family until divorced. I have seen a form somewhere that you can fill in, and they will make a payment from his PAYE to support yourself. I am at the minute trying to think where i have seen this form.

    Though in the short-term i would suggest giving SSAFA a ring (its a freephone number), and start the ball rolling with them.

    I hope to return with the info, but will update you if i cant find it either.

  • martinbuckleymartinbuckley Forumite
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    As she is married, she can get in touch with the families officer - he will get into trouble over this, it sounds as if he deserves it though!

    He wont be in trouble unless it affects the operational capability of his unit. The Army will see this as a private matter. The days when they interfered in every aspect of your life are well and truly behind us.

    If your "friend" is lucky, she'll get a reply along the lines of "This is a private matter so we suggest you seek legal advice".
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