Farewell my friends

chelbel1981

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Well he's been in touch and said he still loves me but he's felt like i've unwanted him for a while because I don't have a high sex drive and haven't come on to him in a while I musn't want him is his conclusion. I don't know how to get him to beleive me that I do still want him very much

Thanks for all your lovely comments

Steph xx

I could have wrote this!

How long have you been together??? Do you have any children???

Dinah93

Steph, I'm sorry I don't know you, but I've been in your situation. Love is an incredible emotion, but from what you've written this really isn't a healthy relationship. It doesn't matter how much you love him, if you can't speak honestly and without fear or without one of you stomping off then you need to do yourself a favour and get out. I was with a man who made everything out to be my fault (turns out I do have a very high sex drive when I'm not scared of the man I'm with), we'd argue a lot, he'd lock me in rooms or outside over night, it came to a head when he threw a big wall picture in a heavy frame down the stairs at me, hitting me in the head. I called the police, he was arrested, and seeing that his behaviour had gone from just emotional to physical and it was so bad he was arrested for it was the wake up call I needed that things weren't okay.

As I say I don't know your situation, but seeing you so calmly saying he'd tried to run you over, then saying you sadly didn't think he'll be back - this sent shivers down my spine. Please, please think of your long term health and happiness, it is less than 3 years since I left my abusive ex and I am now with a man who treats me like a princess, is caring, calm, funny, in short all the best of my ex and 100x more. You will love again, and it will be like a breath of fresh air when you realise you deserve and can find a man who wants to make you happy.

fly_dragon_fly

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Well he's been in touch and said he still loves me but he's felt like i've unwanted him for a while because I don't have a high sex drive and haven't come on to him in a while I musn't want him is his conclusion. I don't know how to get him to beleive me that I do still want him very much

Thanks for all your lovely comments

Steph xx

do you know steph that is exactly what i could have wrote too, when me and ryan nearly broke up that is what he said, i had to do some serious butt kissing to get him to believe me,

i pretty much told him every 5 minutes that i loved him and that his was amazing and just did everything to make his ego a little bit bigger, i gave him hundreds of cuddles and sat next to him on the sofa and watched whatever he wanted, ( something we never do)

we then made a vow to have sex 4 times a week and different places.

not everyones cuppa of tea but it worked for us and we are stronger and less arguementive with each other its lovely, just got to find the happy ryan still.

x

Stephb1986_2

chelbel1981 wrote: »

I could have wrote this!

How long have you been together??? Do you have any children???

We've been together just over 3 years, we don't have any children. I do still want him I'd just rather have a cup of tea than have sex

Steph xx

Stephb1986_2

Dinah93 wrote: »

Steph, I'm sorry I don't know you, but I've been in your situation. Love is an incredible emotion, but from what you've written this really isn't a healthy relationship. It doesn't matter how much you love him, if you can't speak honestly and without fear or without one of you stomping off then you need to do yourself a favour and get out. I was with a man who made everything out to be my fault (turns out I do have a very high sex drive when I'm not scared of the man I'm with), we'd argue a lot, he'd lock me in rooms or outside over night, it came to a head when he threw a big wall picture in a heavy frame down the stairs at me, hitting me in the head. I called the police, he was arrested, and seeing that his behaviour had gone from just emotional to physical and it was so bad he was arrested for it was the wake up call I needed that things weren't okay.

As I say I don't know your situation, but seeing you so calmly saying he'd tried to run you over, then saying you sadly didn't think he'll be back - this sent shivers down my spine. Please, please think of your long term health and happiness, it is less than 3 years since I left my abusive ex and I am now with a man who treats me like a princess, is caring, calm, funny, in short all the best of my ex and 100x more. You will love again, and it will be like a breath of fresh air when you realise you deserve and can find a man who wants to make you happy.

I'm not scared of him at all to be honest he isn't the violent type he just wanted to get away from me and bury his head in the sand thats what he is good at. If anything I'm more violent than him

I do love him very much but he needs to see what he is going to lose if he carries on like this.

Steph xx

greenmoneysaver_2

Am so shocked. You have always sounded so strong and opne and lovely on your posts.

You are being so brave, it is hard, but time will heal, and there are better people out there.

jackieglasgow

I am afraid I agree with greenmoneysaver and dinah, whether you are scared of him or not, if you were my daughter or sister or friend, I would be telling you to stay away, this relationship has not sounded healthy for a wee while now, love, and the complications of his family don't help anything. You deserve someone who makes your heart sing every day, and whose heart you make leap. I don't think this man sounds like he fits either scenario.

frannyann

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Well he's been in touch and said he still loves me but he's felt like i've unwanted him for a while because I don't have a high sex drive and haven't come on to him in a while I musn't want him is his conclusion. I don't know how to get him to beleive me that I do still want him very much

Thanks for all your lovely comments

Steph xx

Me and OH split up for a while, and my OH said almost the exact same. We had a long talk and he has come to realise that his 'high sex drive' is actually his insecurity and its actually a 'high fear of me leaving him need' I did explain that science has shown no man has been murdered by their partner whilst doing the housework and that me being cream crackered at the end of the day doesn't make me feel particularly 'sexy'
We have worked it out and things in the bedroom are great, and if he is having a 'needy' moment, he actually tells me so I can give him a ruddy big hug and tell him how much I love him!

VICXEN83

It is always really sad for a relationship to break up but do you really want to be with someone who tries to run you over?!

I also think that marriage should also include a healthy sex life, is there any way you can focus on increasing yours maybe through counselling or looking into if there are any medical reasons that you do not want to i.e. hormonal imbalance, thyroid, anaemia.

I can not imagine being with my husband and not wanting him in every way.

Stephb1986_2

I don't have a problem with sex I'm just not one for jumping his bones all the time I work 40+ every week the last thing I want to do on a Friday night when I finish work evenutally is have sex I want to sit down with a nice meal and watch some tv. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

I've not said I don't want him have i?? He said he thinks I don't want him. I do want him I've just not thought about showing it thats all