Best man at a wedding.......

MickKnipfler

Dunno yet.....

The situations not quite that bad. I did have a really good job and was made redundant last year. I do have some savings but they aren't gonna last forever. My redundancy paid the mortgage off and everything but now, everybody thinks I'm loaded.....wrong, I have a lot to show for my 30yrs of working but am now only getting £58 a week or something and don't know where thext penny's coming from....

I was asked to be best man a few months back, then discovered, I was at least the 3rd to have been asked..... I think daddy isn't so bad off and wants a decent wedding for his daughter. A couple of months ago, I was asked to meet at the tailors to choose tails etc. I was quite passive in that being happy to go with the flow. No mention was made that I would be asked to pay. I don't want to upset anybody before the big day though

tranmererovers

MickKnipfler wrote:

Especially as I haven't worked since March and am on JSA!!

Normal wedding etiquette is for these outfits to be provided by the bride and groom. If you want the 'main players' (ushers, best man, bridesmaids etc) to pay for their outfit then this should be raised at the point they are asked to fulfil that roll.

I think it is quite outrageous in your circumstances and I hope you have a quiet word with the groom

Mumstheword

You obviously want to be careful, as you dont want to ruin a good friendship. However, I would maybe word it that you didnt realise you would have to pay for the suit hire, and as finances are tight, could you perhaps have a couple of weeks to save up for it?

Any good friend would have 1-paid for it for you, knowing your circumstances 2- pay for it once you mention it will be a squeeze, and insist on doing so.

They are probably finding the wedding expensive and trying to cut costs where they can, without thinking it through properly.

Hope it works itself out

Loop

I agree tranmere...it is awful to be SO persumptious, infact they *may* have done it because they knew you wouldn't say anything and took advantage of your good nature, sometime it just doesn't pay to be so passive.

Don't make a fuss but just tell your friend you really can't afford it and that you are sorry, but you truely thought they were paying as is normal...

Do you think that is why you are number 3 to be asked?

MickKnipfler

I will let him know that I wasn't expecting to pay for my own suit but not till after the event. I don't really want to cloud the day....

Mumstheword

Cross posted with you.

Third choice? My sympathies with bride and groom have reduced somewhat. You are doing them a favour as first and second arent available.

Maybe time to say that you are happy to be their best man for them, but funds really aren't available for hiring a suit. You are happy to provide a nice suit of your own, or to wear a suit of their choice, but can't pay for it.

Loop

No bless you, you really are quite kind by doing that.

he is lucky to have sucha reliable sort of friend!

MickKnipfler

I think no 1 and no2 are closer to him these days. Don't laugh but it will be the third time I've been his best man! Last time, the wedding was a lot less posh and I just wore a suit of my own and paid for the honeymoon as a wedding present (I had more dosh in those days)

Loop

OMG!!!

How very dare he ask you to buy your suit then...

Why did 1 and 2 not end up with the job in hand?

MickKnipfler

1 likes him buy not some of his behaviour and certainly wouldn't trust him.
2 chickened out.

Perhaps I should add that the groom is my brother!

I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill because by cashing in an ISA or selling some shares, I can pay. The reason for the OP was just that I was a tad suprised and wondered what was "normal"