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tigzem

Yay you're back :j

Hmm tough one re the xmas card? But I wouldn't get too worked up, she probably didn't want to hurt your feelings and I know he's a plank but it's not his parents fault, she probably feels for them. OH's stepmum still gives
OH's ex a gift voucher at Xmas, even though they never see each other, but I think it's because she's the mother of their grandson. Hugs hun as I know it's not easy.

He's a cheeky so and so... I can't believe the cheek of him!!!

Re the DVD I'd still get it for him to prove you're the bigger person, DS would be upset if Daddy mentions it. Grrrrr :mad::mad:

benbenandme

Its for him to keep Pinklady; each year I have bought him a copy of the school play (as he's never been along to actually see one), and given it as part of his present from ds. This year I don't see why I should pay for it as he's contributing nothing towards ds (despite now working again :cool:), I told him if he wanted it it would be £5 and he said he did want it and would put £5 in ds bag at the weekend, but surprise surprise there was nothing in his bag :cool:

My sister reckons I should get it and tell him he owes me a fiver, but like I said, he already owes me over £400 thru the csa, so don't think I'd be likely to see it.

I think I won't bother, he had the chance if he wanted a copy. Please let me know though if you think I'm being unreasonable, I find it very hard to see things fairly and logically where he's concerned these days

Sea78

Hi hun

I would buy one simply for DS to know/think that his dad cares even if he doesn't and even if he didn't go to the play. It's what I would do - and have done with other things - some of my friends say I'm stupid for doing this, but the kids like it.

Just my view though.
xxx

pinkladyof66

I still go with you dont buy him one, my sister is in a similar situation to you has two children however now teenagers and I remember her ex husband not paying her any money and now he is gone on and had 3 more children with another woman, and she would certainly not have got her ex one, why should you spend your hard earned money on him, he doesnt seem to have given a thought to your ds with all the trouble he has gone himself into, i would forget the dvd you seen the play and that is all that matters. No I personally dont think you are being unreasonable.

Ellidee

benben were you going to buy a present for ds to give to his Dad ? Just thinking the DVD could be 'it' .

pinkladyof66

Ellidee wrote: »

benben were you going to buy a present for ds to give to his Dad ? Just thinking the DVD could be 'it' .

I am sorry maybe i am thinking wrong however I wouldnt be buying anything for ds to give to his dad, he pays no money, why should he have a present, if ds asks i would just say times are hard at present and you cant afford to buy him a gift.

benbenandme

No Elidee, this year I wasn't getting him a present of any sort, it was just getting it on his behalf as he doesnt have contact with the school. My gut instinct is like Pinklady, why should I spend my money on him, what has he done for me or ds this year other than have me arrested?? I know maybe I should be the bigger person but part of me thinks I'm beyond even that, beyond being interested in what he or his family think.

Nope, mind is made up, I'm not going to get it. He's not in my life, if he really wanted one he could contact the school himself or could have just paid like he said he would

pinkladyof66

benbenandme wrote: »

No Elidee, this year I wasn't getting him a present of any sort, it was just getting it on his behalf as he doesnt have contact with the school. My gut instinct is like Pinklady, why should I spend my money on him, what has he done for me or ds this year other than have me arrested?? I know maybe I should be the bigger person but part of me thinks I'm beyond even that, beyond being interested in what he or his family think.

Nope, mind is made up, I'm not going to get it. He's not in my life, if he really wanted one he could contact the school himself or could have just paid like he said he would

Well said Ben Ben stick to your guns, if you choose to go and buy one no doubt something else will happen for him to p155 you off even more and how seething and angry would you be with yourself, I said if in doubt BUY HIM NOWT. (He don't deserve your time or money)

chevalier

hmm this is a toughy actually. You have to decide if your DS is going to be hurt by his dad not having a dvd of him in the play. If he won't know or whatever then maybe fair enough don't get it, but if you think it will affect DS then maybe you will have to bite your tongue and get it.

But it would gall me to have to pay my money for it, maybe the roulette money could pay for it....?
chev

dangers

If he really wanted the dvd, surely he could contact the school himself. I would say that I couldn't afford it, especially as he still owes you £400.