new baby on the way and i dont know what to do

pdoff

good luck with whatever u decide to do. nobody should pressurise u into keeping the baby if u r really sure u couldn't cope, but if it's just the birth that is putting u off remember that is only a small part, & even if it takes u 18 months to recover (as it did for me after ds1), then it's nothing compared to the years u will have them afterwards.
i had a horrific time with ds1 & was so petrified to be pregnant with ds2 that i completely broke down at the hospital. the doctor who sorted me out after ds1 remembered me & was fantastic. we talked it through & she said if i was really that scared i could have an elective ceasarian. she went through the good & bad points of both & left it to me to decide with no pressure whatsoever. in the end i did have the ceasarian & it was miles better than with ds1. i'm suffering with pnd again but i am glad i went through with it, especially when i see them playing together.
please be honest with the midwife & talk it through. big hugs to you & i hope u come to a decision that makes you happy.

Loopy_Lobes

I hope you're OK and have sought help to make a decision. It must be a shock to find out that you're pregnant again when it wasn't planned and you need to give yourself and your husband a bit of time to let that sink in before you can make any decisions. I also want to echo what others have said really that all pregnancies and births are different and just because you had a bad time before doesn't necessarily mean you will again.

Loopy x

rls1973

mishkanorman wrote:

I would make sure you see a different midwife/doctor to your first if you can. That way its a whole new experience and not a re-run of before. Also a new midwife may be able to provide reassurance that this wont happen again (although without knowing how you nearly died its hard to say that)

I had a really bad first birth experience, however the second was the best time of my life and couldnt have been more positive or enjoyable. It sometimes worth the risk for the beautiful result !!


mishka

me too, i would repeat everything mishka has just said. all the best whatever you do.

xx:heart2:

ginger

PLEASE PLEASE don't do anything without talking to a doctor/midwife/friend. I had a horrific time with the bith of my 1st child and it took me 4 years to get over it - even then I only became pregnant again becuase my OH wanted another baby. Its the best thing I ever did - I love my son, my 2nd child so much and actually feel guilty that I didn't want him to start with. I truly believe that I had undiagnosed post natal depression with my 1st because of the birth - and perhaps this is something you need to talk about. PLEASE continue to post if you want to talk about it or even if you just want someone to listen but don't rush into any decision.

Lynne