Are you more thrifty, OS and MSE than your mother?

kate83

I think the environmental thing certainly has a big influence nowadays.
Bit off topic but my (40ish) next door neighbour is driving me mad as she's left her hose pipe running constantly to water her lawn for the last 2 hours solid, probably going to leave it on all afternoon - what a waste of water! her lawn's only about 4m square
There's me using the water from my daughters bath to water the garden to save water as the reservoirs are starting to run low and her doing her best to use as much as she can - her grass might actually stay green if she didn't scalp it with the mower in the middle of a heatwave!

Anyway, most of my family are hoarders (thinking things will be useful one day) so fairly thrifty but I'm probably more than both my parents and grandparents. But that's partly because I have a mortgage and they don't. I love hunting for second hand bargains as it's recycling and you tend to get better quality. I drive my mum mad as I keep looking for second hand furniture and she prefers to go to ikea - she doesn't seem to understand that something well built will probably outlast me whereas cheap flatpack stuff (which can often cost the same or more) I've had to throw away after it's fallen apart after a few years.
It's the same with clothes, I'd rather have something quality from a charity shop or ebay than pay even primark prices for something that'll only last a couple of washes.

Lady_Tara

thriftyscotslass wrote: »

It seems to be a widely held belief that the "older" generations are more thrifty, save more, make-do and mend, grow their own food, want less and appreciate more than the younger generations. I feel odd as this isn't the case in my immediate family.

You sound identical to me, my parents are similar age to your mum and they spend around £10-15 every day just going out for a coffee. They only had my dads pension from work as like your mum, mine gave up work at 20 when she got married (even though it was 15 years until they had a child!). They eat ready meals and buy top brands all the time, which is fine but they don't have the money! They have done equity release on the house (which I am not entirely sure how that works), but I am not expecting any inheritance from what I can gather!!!:D When my dad buys a new car he doesn't haggle, just gets the one he wants at the price the showroom tells him!

This has made me really appreciate that everything DH and I have achieved has been through our own hard work, and inspires me to be frugal It does sometimes get me down though, when my mum says, why would you go to all that effort to make eg a nice cake / pasta / etc when you could just buy one :cool:

Pee

An Equity Release plan shouldn't end up with your mother being made homeless. The amount she borrowed, which would be a long way of the full value of the property, will have interest rolled onto it and will all be paid back when she has died and the house is sold.

They are often an expensive way of raising the money - down sizing wuld often seem more sensible - but if it keeps your Mum happy, it does mean that she can use what she and your Dad worked for whilst still living in the house.

Good job you are thrifty as I wouldn't expect much of an inheritance!

I would say that my mum, 66, is much more frugal than me, 36, most of the time.

We probably spend a similiar amount on food and she would claim to waste less, but if you just decant the leftovers into the fridge and then throw away another day, that is still the same or slightly more waste!

She would always buy brand names and get the best tv, freezer, hoover that she can find. That said she does make them last. I would tend to go for cheaper things, and love cheap holidays, although I expect things to last too.

She doesn't really like to go on holiday but when she does would pay full price for something middle of the road, wheras I pay as little as possible for real luxury or as little and possible and rough it, whichever makes sense to me. I feel I get a lot more value for my money, although I do spend more.

thriftyscotslass

Thankyou again to all contributors - there are some really beautiful tributes to some amazing Mums :T

Pee wrote: »

An Equity Release plan shouldn't end up with your mother being made homeless. The amount she borrowed, which would be a long way of the full value of the property, will have interest rolled onto it and will all be paid back when she has died and the house is sold.

They are often an expensive way of raising the money - down sizing wuld often seem more sensible - but if it keeps your Mum happy, it does mean that she can use what she and your Dad worked for whilst still living in the house.

Good job you are thrifty as I wouldn't expect much of an inheritance!

But she isn't happy - she feels really hard done by and is always complaining how poor she is. I point out that she has a foreign timeshare apartment and has 3-4 weeks holiday a year here in the UK and abroad but it's like water off a duck's back. (She's always been like this, nothing has been or is ever good enough )

I once made her a hand-made card and she said it wasn't bad and asked didn't I have enough money to buy her one :rotfl:

It's not so much expecting an inheritance more worrying about her ever-increasing debt and her taking out equity release loans, bank loans and overdrafts at 75 to continue her "standard of living" and her seeing nothing wrong with her actions . The only asset that she has left is her house. I know she also has two credit cards but don't know if they are maxed out - her attitude is that it's none of my business.

Fair enough but....... someone somewhere will pick up the tab for her - either she will die and her debts die with her or she will become ill and the state will fund her care. Both of which are so wrong - my Dad put in place plans to care for her in her old age - she shouldn't be in this position - to me she has just frittered all his hard work away.

I did an advanced search on the dfw board last night and read a few similar stories. The consensus seems to be that until she admits there is a problem, has a lightbulb moment, I am unlikely to get anywhere and to protect myself, I have to make sure that I am an entirely separate entity and not linked financially to her. I'll need to get more information on this as if she dies, I don't want to be in the position where creditors are "trying their luck" to see if the next of kin will pick up the debt.

Oops have taken this OT a bit but as you can see I'm concerned and cross :mad:.

tessie_bear

some have written lovely things about their mums...bought a tear to my eye...my mum is great but not thrifty in the slightest...doesnt need to be i suppose

skintmum2012

Hi everyone I got to thinking today while making my soda Bread how times seem to have changed back wanted to know what everyone's thoughts where.
I am 26 live with Hubby and 2 our 2 children and we have little money what with bills having gone up and food costing a lot, I am now a sahm YAY!! I am cooking from stratch,wanting to grow veggies,Food plan,Budget everything,I want to start making jam and wine and chutneys.
Anyway I got to thinking about my mum who has never really lived a frugal livestyle if she want's it she gets it she is really not OS. Then I started to think about my Nan who used to do everything I am starting to as well as Sew she was so house proud made sure everything was always sooo tidy and dust free and she used to stash money away in diffrent places my mum and aunts where finding money everywhere when they had to sort out the house after nan and grandad passed over. Anyway I got to thinking with our spending habbits have we gone a full circle when it comes to spending. I think I am to young to know really but would love to know others thoughts. I think we all have a lot to learn from Older people about how to live well for less.

Libretia*

Very well said

thriftwizard

I'm kind of from the generation in between - twice your age, skintmum2012 - and I felt like a Martian at times in the 90s, being (mostly) a SAHM who survived by not spending money, rather than going out & earning loadsamoney to buy my kids a "lifestyle" like most of my neighbours. Curiously, my own Mum was something of a career woman, who used to make TV programmes etc. back in the 50s-60s, and always worked - in fact she's only just retired at 85 and is bored already! - hates cooking, thinks preserving is a waste of time when you can just buy it all at Waitrose, and generally thanks St. Michael for releasing her from what she sees as domestic drudgery! But she had to work to keep my brother & I after my father died in 1970 & left her with £27 in the bank, and no home, so maybe a lot of it was making a virtue out of necessity. She does do a little knitting.

But now I run a shop selling secondhand craft goods - sewing machines & the like - & doing workshops, and what I hear sometimes from ladies over 60-odd is, "Thank heavens we don't have to do that sort of thing for ourselves any more!" It never seemed like fun to them, because they had to do it, whether they wanted to or not. Not all of them feel like that, but many of the quilters and spinners & weavers of that age that I deal with say that their daughters aren't interested, though their grandchildren often are. Of my own almost grown-up kids, three are creative one way or another, but two would rather cut their arm off - or go into debt - rather than make something (even meals!) for themselves.

So - does the OS gene skip a generation, perhaps?!

chanie

OP, you kind of sound like me. Well, my Mums Mum died when my Mum was very young, so I can't comment on that. My Mum is more of a 'spend for an easier life' kind of woman. For example, for Xmas, rather than making a turkey, she got one from M & S that was seasoned and in a nice foil container (no washing up!!!!). However, my Mum does work full time and so she does what she does for an easier and less stressful life. In fact, my Aunt, who has alwasy been OS (even before it was fashionable and she could afford not to) has even started to use pre-prepared veg. I think they are both at a stage now where they've done their child rairing and are getting tired as they approach retirement.

I, on the other hand, also work full time, but childcare is so expensive that we do have to make savings, so I've started looking at OS ways. I think it is easier because it is now the 'trend' to be OS, whereas when my parents were raising me, it was in the 80s and the Yuppies, Wall Street, shoulder pads, Dynasty - you get my drift. SO then, being OS would be seen as a big no no.

But even thought many people do say they are OS, they probably aren't anywhere near as OS as our grandparent would have been, I for one know I am guilty of this. For example, our grandparents wouldn't have had SKy TV, internet, central heating, maybe had one 'SUnday best outfit', two pairs of shoes. I guess what I am trying to say is that even though we think we may have gone full circle, we have way more stuff than our grandparents so we probably aren't as OS as we think. But I suppose things were made to last then, whereas we don't really have hte luxury now.

Aarons_mummy

I'm 21 and I feel the same. My gran was very much into cooking and baking from scratch, sewing and knitting as much as possible, she didn't grow her own veg but everything else she did. When she died she had savings, not a lot granted but something away and she was always helping my mum out.

My mum is in her 40's and she lives month to month, has no savings, nothing to fall back on that sort of thing.

Then there's me, I'm 21 have a 3 year old son and cook and bake from scratch, shop around to get the best deals, spend as little as possible. Utilise coupons and good deals. Do things as cheaply as possible. I have a savings pot, it doesn't have much in as yet but there's enough there to cover a months bills which I am comfortable with. I don't buy on credit at all and I am reducing the miniscule amount of debt that I do owe.

I think I am not as frugal as say my gran was but I am definitely a heck of a lot better than my mum is and I do have conveniences and luxuries but I do do a lot oldstyle and it fits my lifestyle which I feel oldstyle is ultimately about