Are you more thrifty, OS and MSE than your mother?

rachbc

I'm thrifty now because I have to be with a mortgage to pay and childcare costs sky high. I'm looking forward to enjoying some more comfortable times in later life once the kids are gone and mortgage is paid off and will be mightly pee-d off if my kids criticise me for so doing! I certainly hope my own parents don't die with plenty of money in the bank, after years fo working and providing for us I hope the enjoy spending it!

Alizarin

I would say that I'm more thrifty than my mum is now ... but less thrifty than she was at my age! (I'm 26 and she's 54).

I often hear stories of how my parents, me and a dog all lived in a one bedroom flat until I was a year old, and I know she used to childmind and sell Jafra for extra income when I was growing up because money was tight. I also got to hear the other day about how lucky I was to have furniture because when my parents first moved in together they didn't have any furniture for a while and had to wash hand clothes (until my dad was involved in the car crash, which my mum says was very lucky because they had enough money from the compensation to buy a washing machine!) :rotfl:

She is certainly a lot less thrifty now but then again she doesn't need to be - they've just paid off their mortgage and have a very healthy combined income (about 5 times more than me and OH earn combined!) She now does all her shopping at Waitrose and they go on an average of 4 holidays a year - 2 abroad.

I think my mum often forgets that not everyone has as much money as her, especially younger people just starting out in the first homes (e.g. me and my sister!). She would be horrified to learn that I usually only cook once every 2 or 3 days because I batch cook, and I know she doesn't like sitting on my sofa when she visits (it's 3rd hand - we have it on long-term loan from a friend who was given it by her parents!) - in fact, she generally disapproves of all my old 2nd/3rd hand/charity shop furniture and clothes but I'm not going to let myself struggle financially just to keep up with my parents!

thriftyscotslass

Hmmmnnn - now wondering if there is anyone "out there" whose elderly parents are headed towards major debt problems

Bit disturbed at the moment - found out from brother that Mum may have taken out one of those equity release loans on her home. That would make sense and could explain why she seems so reluctant to even consider moving to a smaller place. I can see me in a few years posting that my 80 year old mother is about to lose her home due to debt problems .

Tried to speak gently to her but she is in complete denial - her reasoning is that she'll be dead soon (highly unlikely as she is an extremely fit 75 year old, she could have another 20 years) or she's not going to have her house sold to pay for her old-age care, that's the state's job - grrrrrrr, as I said, a complete dependant with no sense of responsibility. Sorry for the rant but she frustrates me no end, it's like having another child. Well I guess like any child she is soon going to find out that poor choices can lead to unpleasant consequences - nightmare

maryb

My mother was born in 1918 and went to a grammar school where it was considered totally unecessary for intelligent girls to do domestic science. because both her parents wanted her to become a qualified teacher. Her sister became a nurse. That was the equivalent of a university education for middle class girls in those days. Her own mother was a skilled seamstress so my mother never needed to do her own sewing and was never taught. Neither was she taught to cook and they didn't need to help with housework either because they had a 'woman wot does' come in daily and sent sheets to the laundry. My mother expected she would do the same when she married

During the war she simply went home to live with her mother with her young baby (my sister) and carried on teaching because all the male teachers were called up even though you normally had to resign in those days when you got married. After the war she still worked because her first husband was an invalid. Home was chaotic and food was all of the sort that could be fried. She never became domesticated and was never a good manager - which she really needed to be with three children and an (woman) infant's teacher' salary to keep them on - no equal pay in those days.

She died when I was 16 and I rapidly became independent. I remember the woman in the small shop at the end of the road explaining how to buy a shoulder of lamb and roast it for a good cheap Sunday dinner for myself and my sister. I taught my self to cook absolutely from scratch (thank you, Delia and Good Housekeeping) as well as to sew and knit though I don't do that these days to save money - it's actually more expensive except where curtains are concerned.

I never got into major money problems because I was too terrified of ending up not having any money, (been there, done that, got the scars from my childhood) but I could have managed a lot better than I did for some years. Now I'm pretty good at finances - and this site has helped a lot.

I now have the sort of OS skills that people assume I was taught at my mother's knee LOL. My daughters aren't interested in knitting or sewing (but I'm sure I'll be roped in to make school costumes in due course) but they can cook - mostly baking but if pushed they can do other stuff and I think they will remember how I do things because it's about meal planning and getting food on the table a relentless 7 days out of 7 (how I wish they'd invent a new animal!!) And I spend money freely on important things like their education but they know that money doesn't grow on trees and their parents had to work for it and they will have to work in their turn

Rikki

My Mum had to make ends meet with four young children and on my Dad's low wages.
She still lives in the same make do and mend frame of mind even though she doesn't need to and although I could give her a good run for her money I would always come up short as there is always something new she can teach me.

Bronnie

thriftyscotslass wrote: »

There are a lot of them about and is even a name for them "SKI-ers" (spending the kids inheritance). I guess they are not going to frequent MSE though .


.

LOL, you're wrong there....the SKI-ers even have their own thread on the Silver Savers Board:D
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/832433

In fairness though, if they've made appropriate financial provision, I'm all in favour of spending and enjoying the surplus if that's their choice!

Soubrette

My mum was poor but not thrifty - we lived on vesta food and orange squash. She did knit and sew but didn't pass any of those skills on.

She did however teach me to live within your means and hopefully because of a combination of her and this website I have a much better lifestyle than if I had followed her lead without going into debt.

Sou

dandy-candy

My mum is and always has been terrible with money! I grew up with a weird combination of a mother who earnt a lot of money and spent it freely on herself (designer clothes and drove a Lotus) but none on the house or kids, and a dad who earnt a very low wage and was incredibly tight with his money. I wore hand me down clothes that had gone to my brother to my sister then to me right up until I hit puberty - I didn't even know until then that boys clothes button up on a different side to girls! Mum sent us kids to a private schools so she could boast about it but we never went on the school trips because she wouldn't/couldn't give us the extra for them and all our uniforms were secondhand or too small which was very embarressing. My grandparents (mums parents) were an oasis in the desert! They were very loving and although frugal, it was in the good way - home made gifts, nature walks, lovely home cooked meals. I loved spending time with them! The outcome of it all is that I am frugal like my grandparents and can quite happily go with out stuff because having "luxuries" is an alien concept to me anyway. One curious thing is that my sister has turned out exactly like our mum - spends wildly on holidays, clothes, convertible Audi sports car etc although tbf she spends loads on her kids too, not just herself. She see's it as making up for what she missed out on when we were kids! Each to there own I guess.

mardatha

My mum was Irish, born into a big family in 1916. She left home at 14 and started work in hotels all over the UK. She was a terrible cook but a very good manager I think. I was an only one & my dad had a good wage , he was a miner. We had 2 holidays a year, one at easter and one in summer. She always had a wee job of some kind , from cleaning to the "tatties". I think she was a better manager earlier than I was. I was always poor but not always careful I am now though !

lilac_lady

My mother was a kind person but not a good financial manager. At an early age, around 11, I became aware that she had some debt and that she lived "in the moment". She worked hard though and brought up my sister and myself on her own with the help of her parents.

I took my Granny as a financial role model and have always lived within my means apart from a spell after divorce when I had to take out a loan. Once that was cleared I became debt-free again.

Granny also taught me to cook and bake, something my Mum had no interest in as she seemed to be always working. Life was harder then.