Help! Own house with ex-partner...

DaveMass

Hi,
Long time lurker, first time poster!

Apologies if this is similar to other threads. I have had a look and haven't seen anything *exactly* like this.

I bought a house with my ex-partner (we were never married, we don't have children). Both our names are on the mortgage. We split up and I moved out, she told me that she wanted to buy the house. At the time she was studying at university, her plan was to get a job when she left and complete the sale. I wanted to sell up there and then but I agreed to this because... I thought it was the right thing to do and it would be sorted within six months to a year.

That was three years ago. She is paying the mortgage and bills (I am contributing nothing financially) but says she isn't earning enough to get a mortgage to buy me out.

The house has 100% equity (we got it at a good price and it has doubled in value). Communication between us isn't great and I don't get any sense that she wants to sort this out. I think she is happy with the situation as it is.

I need the house to be sold. I need to move on. I'm not even living in the same city anymore, I'm living hundreds of miles away.
I know I could see a solicitor but money is tight right now... Does anyone know what type of services a solicitor might offer? Timelines and costs?

I've read some horror stories about people being in similar situations and chucking £££££ at a solicitor without anything changing.
Any help would be much appreciated

poppysarah

The house needs to be sold. You almost certainly need a solicitors half hour freebie advice.

keith969

Realistically if she does not want to sell, the only thing you can do is take her to court. This will cost you (and her) upfront in solicitor's fees. It would be wise to explain to her that both of you will be better off if you agree to the sale without going to court.

girleight@

If you went to court you would probably be entitled to half the equity
http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2010/jun/20/mortgage-warning-unmarried-couples
since you've not been paying you could settle for less if she agrees to sell.

delmar39

On paper, what would you lose if she refused to sell and you didn't want to go to court? For example, what deposit did YOU put down, how much of the mortgage have you paid off? An ex of mine was in a similar situ when she left her husband. She stayed in the house whilst he went off and sought alternative digs. She was always going to sell, but in her own time. I was with her at the time. She had three valuations, put it on for the highest valuation got a good price for it, but lied to her x hubby about what she sold it for therefore reducing his cut! Suffice it to say that I didn't stay with her for very long and she tried to get me to contribute towards her house costs (£500 in total from me), just for spending the odd night there. Ruthless and manipulative to say the least. To the point - you've got three options really - encourage her to put it on the market and agree a settlement or force the issue or just leave her to it and see what she does. Really, she should do the decent thing and sell so that you can both move on for good.

DaveMass

Thanks everyone. I'm looking into getting a free half hour with a solicitor.

I put down half the deposit on the house and paid just over half the mortgage while I was living in the house. She has been paying all the mortgage for the last couple of years but that has been her choice... I've always wanted to sell.

A previous poster said I've got three options

1) encourage her to put it on the market and agree a settlement

I've tried this. She doesn't want to sell and can't be convinced that it's the right thing to do. She wants to stop in the house.

2) force the issue

This is the corner I'm been pushed into...

3) just leave her to it and see what she does

I don't think she will do anything other than what she's doing now!

I guess I've answered my own questions. The only way forward is to try the courts and the only person who can tell me how much it's likely to cost me and how long the process will take is a solicitor. I'm weary that this route (the only one that seems available to me) will cost me money I don't have and wont actually resolve anything. I'll just be stuck in a cycle of paying out money so solicitors can send each other letters and the only thing that will change is the amount of grey in my hair.

Rimo2021

She's taking a bit of a risk isn't she:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1281640/Case-forces-judges-warn-unmarried-couples-Plan-possibility-split-up.html

twirlypinky

every mortgage payment she makes alone is digging into your equity really.

Have you threatened her with instructing a solicitor? Perhaps if she thinks you're serious then it'll push her.

A friend of mine's exhusband put the house on the market without telling her, while she was living in it! V dodgy EA!

I think you've been more than generous thus far and this has to stop. Is she that much of a cow now that she doesn't care what this is doing to you?

I just deleted a big chunk i wrote about a similar situation i was in because it was both painful and irrelevent, but surfice to say - your mental anguish in this has value too, don't let her screw you.

delmar39

DaveMass wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I'm looking into getting a free half hour with a solicitor.

I put down half the deposit on the house and paid just over half the mortgage while I was living in the house. She has been paying all the mortgage for the last couple of years but that has been her choice... I've always wanted to sell.

A previous poster said I've got three options

1) encourage her to put it on the market and agree a settlement

I've tried this. She doesn't want to sell and can't be convinced that it's the right thing to do. She wants to stop in the house.

2) force the issue

This is the corner I'm been pushed into...

3) just leave her to it and see what she does

I don't think she will do anything other than what she's doing now!

I guess I've answered my own questions. The only way forward is to try the courts and the only person who can tell me how much it's likely to cost me and how long the process will take is a solicitor. I'm weary that this route (the only one that seems available to me) will cost me money I don't have and wont actually resolve anything. I'll just be stuck in a cycle of paying out money so solicitors can send each other letters and the only thing that will change is the amount of grey in my hair.

I guess we've missed an option which would be for her to buy you out. If she's not going to move out, then this really is your only option. Not sure whether she'll entertain this, but you could try (which I guess you already have). Otherwise, just seek some advice and get your list of options from a professional. Sorry that it has had to come to this.

gauly

twirlypinky wrote: »

every mortgage payment she makes alone is digging into your equity really.

Not sure that is true, because she has sole use of the house and in theory should be paying rent to the OP for the use of his half of the house. I'd go for sending her a letter from a solicitor threatening court action and outlining all the costs she will incur if that happens - most sane people would then agree to sell!

twirlypinky

gauly wrote: »

Not sure that is true, because she has sole use of the house and in theory should be paying rent to the OP for the use of his half of the house. I'd go for sending her a letter from a solicitor threatening court action and outlining all the costs she will incur if that happens - most sane people would then agree to sell!

I would've thought that when the house sells, she'll take off the cost of the payments she's made on her own since before the equity is split. you could be right though, i ran away from my house before the issue came up.

Either way mate, i think you know what you need to do really.