Buying an engagement ring - save or credit?

sp1987

Pick a cheap ring that you like and show him a picture.

I can understand wanting 'a' ring and I can understand him wanting to be able to buy one outright.

If he is happy to buy a cheap ring for now (maybe that looks like the more expensive one you want in the future, just made of cheaper materials)to be engaged then you have your answer. If he isn't he either does not want to get engaged now (read into that what you will) or he genuinely wants to buy a decent one first off. You need to decide what you do with the information.

pinkshoes

mwilletts wrote: »

Looking at this from a males point of view (I am one after all) if I REALLY wanted to get engaged to the woman I loved, I'd do it straight away. I'd beg, borrow or steal to at least get A ring, even if I knew I was going to save up and get something nicer in the future. I think the money is irrelevant, if someone wants to commit they will. The fact that he's spending his money on things for HIMSELF probably means that he isn't too bothered about it right now...

Looking at this from a woman's point of view, I would be VERY upset and turn my OH down if he ever proposed and hadn't bought the ring outright with his hard earned cash! I'd rather have a hula hoop and then wait!

Financial compatibility is something that is often overlooked in relationships, but is one of the major reasons for relationship failures.

hannahjex

My OH proposed with a sterling silver ring with a small, heart shaped CZ in it. It cost about £15 and was beautiful. It was what he could afford at the time and we knew marriage for us wouldn't be for a few years. I was still at university at the time, and we knew we'd wait until we were both a bit older, more settled, better able to afford a wedding, etc. Getting engaged when we did wasn't about the size of the ring and immediately setting a date, it was more a declaration of intent and showing that we were committed to each other for the long run, if that makes sense. I wore that ring for 2.5 years (still have it on a chain) and got loads of compliments on how beautiful my engagement ring was (most assumed it was a diamond set in white gold--I didn't correct them!).

Anyway, 2 and a half years later (when we were in a better situation) I received my upgrade engagement ring with a .87 carat diamond in it and I am very glad he waited until he could afford it. I'd have been gutted if he'd borrowed to buy my engagement ring. Getting engaged isn't about a ring (I understand wanting one, but it is NOT about the ring and it doesn't need to be an expensive one). I think that if your partner did truly want to get engaged right away, he'd go out and buy you a cheapy ring. He probably just isn't ready yet (maybe because he thinks getting engaged means planning the wedding right away). Loads of people think that an engagement isn't 'real' unless/until you start planning the wedding/set a date, but whatever. After 7 years together and a 4 year engagement my OH and I are finally getting married [STRIKE]this year[/STRIKE]. this month--eek!

Gleeful

hannahjex wrote: »

I received my upgrade engagement ring with a .87 carat diamond in it and I am very glad he waited until he could afford it. I'd have been gutted if he'd borrowed to buy my engagement ring. Getting engaged isn't about a ring (I understand wanting one, but it is NOT about the ring and it doesn't need to be an expensive one). I think that if your partner did truly want to get engaged right away, he'd go out and buy you a cheapy ring. He probably just isn't ready yet (maybe because he thinks getting engaged means planning the wedding right away). Loads of people think that an engagement isn't 'real' unless/until you start planning the wedding/set a date, but whatever. After 7 years together and a 4 year engagement my OH and I are finally getting married [STRIKE]this year[/STRIKE]. this month--eek!

That ring sounds like a stonker!

Mine was £450 and is .33 carats. We went for second hand from our favourite jewellers. It looked brand new once they had resized and polished it! My fingers are so slim that the diamond looks bigger than it is though!

llh189

Sorry but it sounds like the OP"s other half is merely fobbing her off!

I too had a boyfriend like this and after 5 wasted years I suddenly realised that it was never going to happen!

For some, the idea of marriage and a relative public sign of commitment is important and for some it is not important, but the really important thing is that in a couple you agree or compromise or I am afraid walk away and find someone that shares your ideas and goals.

I have a lovely diamond ring that my parents bought me when I turned 30, it cost £95 from Argos - and I am always getting compliments on it, it is an eternity setting in white gold, very simple and 5 years later still looks lovely - a ring doesn't need to cost a fortune to mean something lovely! I am afraid you might never get what you want!

puffinmuffin

thanks for all the thoughts and experiences. he is working at paying the debts, he got the tv as if has given up his season ticket this year. We are well suited but getting married is important to me. Unfortunately i have been here before which is why i am struggling with waiting and am afraid of wasting my time. My plan is to wait until feb when it will be time for a very serious talk!