To parents -Would you want to know?

j-lu

I would recommend talking to your parents even if you decide not to ask them for any money. If your mum is already worried about you it may alleviate her concerns if she understands the reasons for your behaviour and state of mind. Perhaps you could ask them for help to repay the A&L c/c and show them that you have dealt with and are continuing to deal with the other debts as the responsible adult that you are. As a previous poster mentioned, your sister the social butterfly may well be in a similar position (as I imagine are many high lifers) and you may be able to help her make the decision to face any financial mistakes she may be making by setting her the example.

Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck and congratulations on facing up to the situation.

MrsPorridge

As a parent I would want to know if my son was in debt and I would help him out in every way that I possibly could.

As a child (over 40) in debt now then there is no way I would tell my Dad. He has no truck with people in debt and doesn't hesitate to say so on many occasions. He has no idea of my position - I have struggled for many, many years, consolidation, spending, more consolidation etc. Only finding this website 2 years ago has saved me from the eternal cycle and made me realise I have to pay it all off one day!

My Dad has lots of savings and could easily help me out - but there is no way I could bear to ask him A) to see his disappointment in me and to "sponge" off him to get myself out of the mess I am in which is no one's fault but my own.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

clang_uk

On the note of flat sharing, I did it for years, never had any problems with the people I lived with. Although one landlady was OCD! It's easier than people think. And I would disagree with the people that say it brings you company, it's like living with a cat! They come and go, they don't interfe in what you're doing, they occassionaly knock things over, but all in all it's nice to have around. A rubbish example I know, but it's 5pm on a Friday!!!

Do it charge loads, and pay off those debts!! Who knows you may even make some friends out it !

Youdontseeme

Oh lots of posts since I last logged on, I am rather overwhelmed by the amount of help and ideas being given - Thank you all so much :T

You do everything you can and do really well, and STILL there is loads more debt to be paid off... and no other cutbacks to be made. And your debt-free date is still months (years!) away, you haven't gone out for ages, you're fed up of eating value food and home-cooked meals and packed lunches (sometimes, a portion of grease and MSG in plastic tubs that costs the same as your weekly food shop can seem like the most desirable thing in the world), you haven't had a holiday for years (in fact, you note bitterly, that you're still paying for the last one you had which went on the credit card), you can't remember the last time you bought something frivolous, and you've long since used up all your 'stores' of toiletries and clothes, and actually come to think of it, you couldn't really go out even if you had the money, because your clothes are really a bit tatty. Your friends have long since stopped asking you to join in with anything that costs more than £5, which makes you feel worse as you check facebook and see pics of the brilliant holiday/lovely car/expensive birthday dinner/night out they had, but which they didn't invite you to. Because you don't go out and do anything really, you don't feel as if you have much to say to anyone, so you go home and eat your lentil bake in front of the telly, study your spreadsheet and sigh. X years until your DFD... X years more of this??? Is that what life has come to?!

Yep that is my life, finding something reduced in the supermarket is usually the highlight of my weekend!

(is it really A&L or have they sold you to someone else now they are Santander?).

It has changed to MBNA

For all the people who mentioned sharing, I realise it probably would be a good idea in more ways than one, but I live in a 1bed so not chance of getting someone in here and if I moved to share what would I do with all my stuff (furniture etc..) storage would probably cost as much as I save and if I do ever get back up North I dont want to have to start again from scratch or perhaps a clean slate might be the best way to go, I just don't want to be at the stage of sitting on beanbags for 6 months cause I cant afford a sofa again (left home at 16 so couldn't even get credit then and refused help from my parents oh how I've changed!!)

My Mum is pretty good send vouchers and stuff, things she cuts out of the paper that they cant use up there etc.. the odd tesco voucher.

unless you are secretly hoping they will bail you out

not secretly hoping, I know, if they knew, they would help me out. When first think about this I figured out that I could pay them back with interest higher than most of their savings are getting now and that it might be a good thing for both of us. But as I think someone mentioned if they needed the money for something ASAP then I would feel awfully guilty and with Mum retiring while they are pretty comfortable, they will have to tighten up the belts a little and I cant do that do them.

Sorry if I have missed anyone's questions out, I really didn't expect so many people to actually care about my problems!

Thank you all once again.

YDSM