Routine for babies

Counting_Pennies_2

I know it is not much comfort, but it is so very normal for this to happen at 6 weeks. You might even have had it with your first, but you went with the flow, because that is what you do with number 1.

In terms of getting her into routine, I was very much in to Baby Whisperer. EASY routine. Baby will Eat, do an Activity, Sleep and then you get some time for You. It gets into about a four hour turning routine eventually.

Try to follow this loosely. Difficult with a 6 week old to find activities, but you will find it all slowly slots in to place. Show her black and white pictures, toys, books. Place on a mat on the floor. Talk with her.

In terms of Eating, don't do more frequently than 2 hours in the evening, but don't make it stretch to the 4, as they are topping up in the evening, with growth spurts and ready to start long stretches in the night. To get her to take her food, strip her off down to the nappy, in front of a low fan is necessary and either rotate your finger on the palm of her hand, or step your fingers up and down her spine to keep her alert so she will feed. Never fiddle with her feet as that encourages indigestion.

A dummy is recommended regularly as a comforter now adays and it is positively encouraged to avoid cot death. So don't feel guilty. This might help comfort her.

You sound like you are stretched, if if OH isn't giving you support you are going to need to find ways of coping. Can your toddler go to friends or parents for an hour or so each week to help give you a break to sleep. Can you pay a teenager to come round after they have been to school and play with the toddler so you can get your jobs done then, you can then give baby the time she needs in the evening. It will only be for a short time while you get her into routine.

Remember 6 weeks is very new still. OH needs to understand that they don't just run to schedule, and they do need to interrupt your live especially this early on. But self preservation is key for yourself, so get in as much help as you can where possible to help.

hth

Counting_Pennies_2

I know it is not much comfort, but it is so very normal for this to happen at 6 weeks. You might even have had it with your first, but you went with the flow, because that is what you do with number 1.

In terms of getting her into routine, I was very much in to Baby Whisperer. EASY routine. Baby will Eat, do an Activity, Sleep and then you get some time for You. I gets into about a four hour turning routine eventually.

Try to follow this loosely. Difficult with a 6 week old to find activities, but you will find it all slowly slots in to place. Show her black and white pictures, toys, books. Place on a mat on the floor. Talk with her.

In terms of Eating, don't do more frequently than 2 hours in the evening, but don't make it stretch to the 4, as they are topping up in the evening, with growth spurts and ready to start long stretches in the night.

A dummy is recommended regularly as a comforter now adays and it is positively encouraged to avoid cot death. So don't feel guilty. This might help comfort her.

You sound like you are stretched, if if OH isn't giving you support you are going to need to find ways of coping. Can your toddler go to friends or parents for an hour or so each week to help give you a break to sleep. Can you pay a teenager to come round after they have been to school and play with the toddler so you can get your jobs done then, you can then give baby the time she needs in the evening. It will only be for a short time while you get her into routine.

Remember 6 weeks is very new still. OH needs to understand that they don't just run to schedule, and they do need to interrupt your live especially this early on. But self preservation is key for yourself, so get in as much help as you can where possible to help.

hth

rachelet

Hi,

I believe totally in routines for babies and have managed to get all four of my children sleeping through the night from a young age. My youngest is only 9 weeks old and is sleeping for 10-12 hours at night now. She has been doing this for about 3 weeks now.

My advice is to try and feed your baby no less than two hours between feeds. Try to last for three hours. My youngest used to whinge a lot in the evening as well. It was always between 6pm and 10pm each night. I found that most of the time, she wasn't hungry, just wanted a cuddle and most evenings she fell asleep on me until it was the right time for her feed.

When my baby was quite young and was still waking in the night for a feed, I used to go to sleep at about 8pm and my husband would do the next feed. Then I would be the one to wake up in the night. This way I got a few hours sleep before having to get up to feed the baby. Perhaps suggest to your husband that he does this for you for a couple of nights. That way you get some much needed sleep.

One other thing, does your baby sleep in the same place during the day as where you put her at night? I put my third and fourth children to sleep in their cot during the day as well, but at night, I have blackout blinds which I shut and don't leave the light on for them. That way they get to know the difference between night and day and it encourages them to sleep during the night.

All babies tend to cry a lot in the evening. It is normal and it always seems worse as you are also at your most tired.

I hope you get her into a routine more.

snugglepet20

When you are at home with the first baby you can sleep when they sleep but with the second you have no chance, so you physically cannot do every night. Tell your OH that you are at work all day as well and your job is mega stressful as you have complete responsibility for 2 entirely dependent human beings and a house to clean and there are no lunch breaks or messing about on facebook when you feel lazy. You cannot work 24 hours a day you and OH will have to split the nights between you, yes he will be tired but I bet any money you are exhausted too and your job is no less important. As for the baby you will find her a lot more chilled when you are rested as you will have more patience and remember the first 3 months are the hardest!

Also I'm no dietician but my baby (8 weeks) did the same thing with excessive feeding (5oz every 2 hours) and crying all the time and doing a lot of runny nappies. She now has cow and gate comfort milk and her behaviour is a million times better, your baby might be doing the same thing i.e crying because she has tummy ache and then trying to make herself feel better by feeding and making it worse! Ask the health visitor, also this website http://www.fourfriends.com/cgi-bin/milk.pl calculates how much milk your baby should be having in 24 hours as 5oz every 2 hours is way too much i.e at 11lb9 my baby should be having 26oz in 24 hours and I have been ordered to ration her and fill her up with water in between! HTH

shelley_crow

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

I know it is not much comfort, but it is so very normal for this to happen at 6 weeks. You might even have had it with your first, but you went with the flow, because that is what you do with number 1.

In terms of getting her into routine, I was very much in to Baby Whisperer. EASY routine. Baby will Eat, do an Activity, Sleep and then you get some time for You. I gets into about a four hour turning routine eventually.

Try to follow this loosely. Difficult with a 6 week old to find activities, but you will find it all slowly slots in to place. Show her black and white pictures, toys, books. Place on a mat on the floor. Talk with her.

In terms of Eating, don't do more frequently than 2 hours in the evening, but don't make it stretch to the 4, as they are topping up in the evening, with growth spurts and ready to start long stretches in the night.

A dummy is recommended regularly as a comforter now adays and it is positively encouraged to avoid cot death. So don't feel guilty. This might help comfort her.

You sound like you are stretched, if if OH isn't giving you support you are going to need to find ways of coping. Can your toddler go to friends or parents for an hour or so each week to help give you a break to sleep. Can you pay a teenager to come round after they have been to school and play with the toddler so you can get your jobs done then, you can then give baby the time she needs in the evening. It will only be for a short time while you get her into routine.

Remember 6 weeks is very new still. OH needs to understand that they don't just run to schedule, and they do need to interrupt your live especially this early on. But self preservation is key for yourself, so get in as much help as you can where possible to help.

hth

Sorry to hijack thread OP, could you point me in the direction of the research that states this please? My 2nd is due in September and I've never heard of this. It's been five years since my first and no link had been established then, need to brush up on my research, thanks.

rachelet

snugglepet20 wrote: »

Also I'm no dietician but my baby (8 weeks) did the same thing with excessive feeding (5oz every 2 hours) and crying all the time and doing a lot of runny nappies. She now has cow and gate comfort milk and her behaviour is a million times better, your baby might be doing the same thing i.e crying because she has tummy ache and then trying to make herself feel better by feeding and making it worse! Ask the health visitor, also this website http://www.fourfriends.com/cgi-bin/milk.pl calculates how much milk your baby should be having in 24 hours as 5oz every 2 hours is way too much i.e at 11lb9 my baby should be having 26oz in 24 hours and I have been ordered to ration her and fill her up with water in between! HTH

That's a great website. I have just checked it and confirmed that although my 9 week old is only having 4 feeds a day, she is having the right amount of milk at each feed. Even though I have had four kids, I still like to check that they are getting enough milk and not too much for their weight!

Spendless

I found 2 children more than double the work of one! Partly because with child1 you can sleep when baby does, you can't do that if you have a toddler also.

How old is your eldest? Can a friend take him/her to a toddler group for you -with her own whilst you sleep/catch up.

Also I do remember my HV asking me if a bath made my baby sleepy or wide awake- sleepy - bath at night, wide awake-bath in morning.

Also whilst I see your point about doing the night feeds due to your hubby's stressful long hour job (my hubby does too) he should help out on an evening. You shouldn't be doing both tending to baby and housework chores after toddler is in bed.

Molly41

shelley_crow wrote: »

Sorry to hijack thread OP, could you point me in the direction of the research that states this please? My 2nd is due in September and I've never heard of this. It's been five years since my first and no link had been established then, need to brush up on my research, thanks.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/conditions/cotdeath2.shtml

clairec79

It is normal for babies to cluster feed at that time of day, you may be able to try and split them a bit but often the frequent small feeds in the evening then go into the longer sleep at night - so it's swings and roundabouts

I wouldn't be trying too hard to get a baby into a routine at 6 weeks, that's still really young. My eldest was in a routine at that age, but that was something she created herself, not anything I did - so luck rather than anything else

Is there anyway your husband can help in the evenings - either him feed the baby or sort the toddler out

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

There is of course the question of how many times has your OH been the mother of a toddler and a six week old baby? If he hasn't, I'd like to know how on earth he is the expert that can dictate that it isn't normal for a small baby to cry.

Having had a baby like that (and one that wasn't), it might be worth checking for wind/colic. If babe's tummy can be cupped in your hand and fits snugly, it could be that the LO is taking in more air than expected. The usual winding doesn't always suit - with one of mine, she had to be supported with my hand on her tummy as she lay with her head supported in the crook of my elbow - sort of face down, bit like a cat would lay on you, IYSWIM. I could then massage her belly gently. I also learned that sitting a baby up with the chin supported between my thumb and index finger whilst rubbing their lower back took longer, but was far more effective at bringing wind up than over the shoulder and patting.

Anyone who says colic doesn't exist hasn't had one child with it and one without. It's like saying an adult can't have painful trapped wind.

Although I do agree that babies feed little and often when that small, a subtle extra minute here and there whilst getting the bottle ready will add up over days to give you a bigger gap between feeds. And a slightly hungrier baby will take slightly more milk and sleep ever so slightly longer. If the LO screams so much that they take in even more air, you could even have a tiny bottle of water to hand, which can quench thirst and slow the desperate urge long enough to see whether babe is really hungry, as they can have a bit and decide 'I'm done now' or 'That isn't MILK!'

A dummy can also show whether babe is wanting comfort rather than food (and help at the same time) and, if all else fails, sticking babe in a sling and just getting on with things will at least make it easier to function, even if you may wish you had earplugs. (which I would chuck at your OH in any case)

Things tend to start settling at around ten weeks.


I'm personally one of those awkward people that both thinks that anyone who believes that children should not be looked at or cuddled because is spoils them is a demented childhater, and that a baby will not be permanently damaged by a harassed mum putting them safely in the cot, closing the door and walking away for a few moments when nothing else works.

I would point out that you are effectively saying that babe is fine when OH is at work, so his demands for peace and 'normality' could be making you very stressed as well. Perhaps Mr Stressful Job could take over bathtime, pyjamas, bedtime story and the like, or hold babe whilst you have time alone with your toddler?

There is nothing worse than having a baby crying at the same time as your OH is demanding that you sort it out because whatever it is that you are doing must be wrong. Oh, unless he also has a mother who says in her day, babies were put outside at 8am in a pram and never touched until 4 hours later for 10 oz of formula and they were all perfectly fine, sleeping 15 hours a night, toilet training at 16 weeks and reading by themselves at 1 and a half.