Routine for babies

Lalaladybird

I need to get my 6 week old baby into a routine for the sake of the whole family. Yesterday was a nightmare. I'm exhausted from having to do all the night feeds (my OH needs to sleep cos of a stressful full time job) and the baby wants to feed all evening taking in tiny amounts then napping and screams if I try to do otherwise. This means that from 7pm til midnight I'm just attending to the baby and I need to get other stuff done once I've got my toddler to bed. I also need to try to get some more sleep cos after I've fed and winded the baby during the night, she makes loads of noise and sometimes possets a bit so I'm awake for an hour and a half at a time, twice during the night then up at 6am. She feeds and sleeps reasonably well during the day but is very difficult in the evenings. She's formula fed and is gaining weight very well. She doesn't have colic, she's not in pain, just seems to want a lot of attention all evening. I'm not sure if she needs less sleep during the day or more stimulation or what. Hence the need for a routine.

Any suggestions about how I could do this would be great. I know some people are very much against routine for babies so pm me if you don't want to post.

gratefulforhelp_2

Hi and Congratulations! I am not against routines for babies, but I would warn against using a Gina Ford style approach, the baby has never ever read the book.

Please be more gentle on yourself. 6 weeks is very very young to be in a routine, and the people who tell you their baby is in a routine at that age are either fibbing ot thwacking in great dollops of baby formula.

Well done for breastfeeding her.

In my experience (two LOs) the evening is the most trying time, baby does that evening thing, you are exhausted, and you have another little one to see to. It will pass, and you are probably best off just rolling with it for a while.

Can you get anyone else in to help, or get your DH to do a bit more? He may have a full time job but so do you, and at least he gets to go to the loo on his own!

Otherwise, could she have colic? I know the jury is out over whether colic really exists but speak to HV maybe about their suggestions for dealing with that?

You're not on your own, and it will be over in the blink of an eye. Lots of luck.

Lalaladybird

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Well done for breastfeeding her.

She's bottle fed now, I only managed to breastfeed for 3 weeks and then was very sad when it all went wrong....got very painful and I had a low supply so she was never satisfied. I tried again after a couple of days once the pain was getting better and she couldn't latch on anymore. That was one problem too many so I reluctantly switched to formula.

She manages to eek out a bottle of formula for hours all evening, taking an ounce or so then cat-napping then crying with hunger again. During the day she downs up to 5oz in half an hour and will sleep for upto 2 hours between feeds. My OH takes over the evening feeding for a while but he's really fed up and says its not normal that we should have to do this, that she should feed and settle for a while before the next feed. So we're both run ragged trying to get things done before bed and both wake up feeling like zombies.

clearingout

It is still very early days with a 6 week old and routine does tend to emerge rather than being imposed.

I am personally a fan of Gina Ford and using her techniques, I turned my second child on his head and had him fitting in with us within 24 hours of putting the routine in her book into practise. I think I was probably lucky though! It is worth getting a second hand copy and having a look but you do need to be careful not to be hard on youself - I think you could do everything by the book and still not get what you're looking for. Babies are funny little creatures and will do what they want, when they want!

With baby no. 3 I have been on my own as my ex walked out on me in the early stages of pregnancy. He co-slept with me for the first 10 weeks which worked really well. He barely cried in the night, just wiggled a bit and latched himself on and whilst I was aware of him, I slept really well. I moved him into his cot when I woke up next to my ex one morning and found the whole thing a bit wierd!

You could try a sling so you can get on with things? I use the freedom sling - not particularly expensive if you want to give it a try. No. 3 is now 11 months old and he gets all jiggly when he sees the sling come out as he loves being carried - think he likes the view!

try not to be hard on yourself - things will improve. the more stressed you are, the harder it will be.

gratefulforhelp_2

It is normal, though, or at least common. I'm thinking colic, then. We are not supposed to give medical advice, but ask the HV about it?

DD2 used to like it when we lay her on her back and very gently lifted her legs up so her bottom lifted off the bed. Don't know why but it made her feel better when nothing else did.

Are you feeling ok apart from the tiredness and is your DH being properly supportive?

eta sling is a good suggestion.

ellay864

As I read it the OP says your bottle feeding so I really would get your OH involved. OK so he has a stressful job but I don't believe he needs to sleep from 7pm...at least during the early part of the night shift (til 9 or 10 pm) I don't see why he shouldn't help you as you've got a bloody stressful job there too!
I also noticed that you said she just takes little bits of feed then naps....in some ways thats more like breastfed babies who use the breast for comfort as much as for food. Is she quite tired when you're trying to feed her? If she's too sleepy to feed she'll drop off before she's properly fed and then be hungry again. Is there anyway to change things round a little so you're feeding her at a time she's properly awake, have her take a longer feed and then hopefully it will settle her. I know some people are violently against them but does she use a dummy? I hated the idea but reluctantly tried one with mine and never looked back (and no it doesn't mean they're on them at 5 years old at aschool - both of mine gave theirs up comfortably at about 2)
I know that sometimes the possetting can be a pain but while that can be messy it isin't usually distressing for baby. Mine had reflux where they'd bring back tons of stuff constantly but it bothered me a damn sight more than them! That said, I was advised to give tummy and back rubs, not just the conventional winding over the shoulder and that did seem to settle them.
At 6 weeks old she will still sleep quite a lot in the day but try to make the most of her when she is awake, keep her busy and interested in things, then hopefully she'll settle to taking a proper feed in the evening so you can get her to sleep for a longer spell. But as the post above says she she is still very small and it WILL get better. It's just so much harder when you have a toddler as well which is why yopu really do need OH's support

Edit: Sorry my screen was playing up and I'd only seen OP and first response before I typed mine lol. Ignore anything irrelevant

JoJoB

Do you have a rocker or cradle-swing you could put her in at the times when you need to be getting stuff done? My DD always wanted to be held which is only natural but not very convenient when you need to put a wash on/cook dinner! The baby swing saved my sanity.

As for routine, it's so difficult with babies as there is always something that comes along to mess it up - growth spurts, teething, night terrors, colds. Just when you think you've cracked it you're back to square one. It's so hard in the early weeks with so little sleep, especially if there are feeding difficulties. Do you have family around? Could they take baby for the night soon and give you some rest?

pigpen

6 weeks = growth spurt.. you have no chance for at least 2 weeks!
6 weeks also = colic.. you could try something like colief or infacol see if it helps.

Feeding frequently is vital to her growth at the moment.. and she will do the same at about 3 and 6 months as well!

Also stop feeding her in dribs and drabs.. they get used to it and their stomach shrinks so it cannot hold enough.. you know like when you have been ill for a few days and eaten little and you cannot scarf that huge meal? .. well babies are the same... she needs to be fed regular amounts of more than an ounce or 2.. unfortunately the only way to do this is to eek out the time you leave her between feeds.. so if she wants feeding at 7.. feed her at 7 and then not again until maybe 9.. if she grots in between find some other way to sooth her.. a dummy, water, bath time, changing, rocking.. whaever..

It sounds like you are letting her dictate and she is running the house almost! She is a baby she fits in with you (mostly) not vice versa.

If you are offering her milk every time she squeals and it is not what she is wanting she will squeal more often..

And OH can take over some of the responsibility.. looking after 2 small children is also a stressful overtime every day job and your rest is as important as his, he is a parent too so half of the responsibility is his!. he will have weekends off or at least some days off.. leave him to it and go to bed.. don't run yourself into the ground for the sake of him being a grumpy bum when he hasn't had enough sleep.. I almost killed one of mine after not having enough sleep.. it is that easy.. YOU need a break too.

mwa

Hello

Can't offer much in way of advise other than my DS (now 8 months) was very similar to yours at 6 weeks, very fretful, taking small bits of milk constantly rather than big feeds etc and I also had a toddler and full time working hubbie so you have my sympathy! It resolved itself though, I seem to remember that they have a massive growth spurt at around 6 weeks so try and live day to day and I reckon in a few weeks this will be a distant memory...

MWA

gizmo111

Both mine were like that up until 3 months, found it really stressful with the first but with the second I just got as much done as I could in the day and acceppted that evenings were wiped out for a while. They grew out of it and went on at around 4 months to sleeping 12 hours a night.

xmaslolly76

My Bubs did the grazing thing as well taking the odd ounze here and there in a period of hrs. I found the dummy invaluable in staving off his need for a bottle for that bit longer so he would take a bigger feed. He also had a swing which i could put him into when i needed to get done and he loved it