Advice - Please - Seperate, Divorce or Stay Put?

vodkafrog

What you describe is 'domestic abuse', you could contact womens refuge. They offer confidential support regardless of whether you chose to stay or leave. You didnt mention the gender of your children, but female children growing up in environments such as you describe learn that its ok for a husband or boyfriend to abuse them. Young boys learn that its ok to be abusive to a female partner. Its sad but very often the environment that your children experience through childhood set almost a blue print for how they behave as adults. However its not to late to change this for your children, support and help is available, try womens refuge, your health visitor or GP. Good Luck

esmf73

Don't think that because he is not being physically violent towards you that this is nothing. Physical violence may be the next step, and in a fog of rage (however unprevoked it is) he might do you lasting damage - you don't know. Do you want to live with this possibility? I'd spend the next week planning my leave - where to go, ensuring I have all the important paperwork with me, transferring money or opening my own account etc and then when his parents go, you go too.

Best of luck xx

kimmee

I didn't want to just read and run and although I have nothing to add to the very good advice that all the above posters have given you I just wanted to wish you well.

You surely deserve a better life for you and your children, they're young and they will soon adjust and you will all so much happier for it.

Be brave and good luck :grouphug:

xmaslolly76

My ex used to be like that he used to call me some horrible names infront of the children and yes they started picking up on it and copying him mine were younger than yours at the time. I left there were other reasons my ex did turn violent when he couldnt get his kicks out of upsetting me anymore. You need to get out and start again the children will change once out of that atmosphere it wont be overnight though and you may have a battle on your hands to get back the respect your OH has stolen from you but it will happen. Mine still have their moment 4 yrs on but they are few and far between and they always appologise now knowing they have done wrong and have hurt mommys feelings. You will also find yourself changing if you dont get out one day you will wake up and think i'm not putting up with this anymore and you will retaliate which is when your home becomes a war zone and the possibility of him becoming violent increases as he no longer has you under his control.

I wish you all the best with what ever you decide. :-)