Problem with neighbours

Bossyboots

pbradley936 wrote:

The solicitor wrote to me because I had written to his client and he enclosed all the plans edged in red about who owns what so that the situation was clarified. I wrote back thanking him and said “If your client can contain her guests, laundry, plants etc in the areas which you have said are hers the matter has been entirely resolved. In the event that she cannot I will send you photographs and highlight where these guests and belongings are on the plan you have sent me so that you may advise her accordingly”.

She has been spitting blood ever since.

I am sorry that she is being difficult but you have just made me laugh. I love your response to the solicitor.

Unfortunately it seems as though your mum is going to have to bite the bullet for now in relation to this nasty woman who hopefully with calm down with time.

I wonder whether perhaps a way of getting her on side would be to sympathise with her over the bad advice she was given about what land she could use and offering to help if you can in her pursuing her solicitor for giving her the incorrect info. It may be entirely her fault this has happened but if she thinks you and your mum might empathise with her, rather than being against her, she might be easier to live with.

I only suggest this as a means to trying to make life more pleasant for your mum, not as a benefit for the neighbour or to suggest that she should be allowed to use the land which, as I and angelgraceland have pointed out, would be unwise.

robnye

Bossyboots wrote:

I am sorry that she is being difficult but you have just made me laugh. I love your response to the solicitor.

Unfortunately it seems as though your mum is going to have to bite the bullet for now in relation to this nasty woman who hopefully with calm down with time.

I wonder whether perhaps a way of getting her on side would be to sympathise with her over the bad advice she was given about what land she could use and offering to help if you can in her pursuing her solicitor for giving her the incorrect info. It may be entirely her fault this has happened but if she thinks you and your mum might empathise with her, rather than being against her, she might be easier to live with.

I only suggest this as a means to trying to make life more pleasant for your mum, not as a benefit for the neighbour or to suggest that she should be allowed to use the land which, as I and angelgraceland have pointed out, would be unwise.

i agree.... change it to a sympathy vote........

misty

To go against the tide of opinion a bit - I do seem to have some sympathy with the neighbour. Like you say the child has done nothing any child would do but it is bugging everyone anyway. I can sympathise I had a upstairs neighbour with a child and the noise did my head in. I now have my own child and realise how difficult it is to keep them quiet - fortunatley I now have a house with garden. I'm sure the woman bought the house partly for the garden for her child - I know you didn't instigate the garden situation.

Re the barbecue - again - she's just moved, the weather was great (she thinks she has a garden!) she invites people around. My next door neighbours get a bit of stick from the other neighbours for the same thing - teenage girls with their friends around, playing music and having barbies. I live next door and they cause no trouble - the other neighbours are older though and don't like people coming and going - but they're not doing anything wrong.

Again - looking from her side - she's just moved in and gets a letter saying - keep the noise down etc. I know you say it was a friendly letter but sometimes you can't pick up tone from a letter and she may have mis- interpreted it or it was more strongly worded than you meant. Instead of getting into an argument she's gone for the solictor - which I think is an over reaction but she may have thought your reaction was an over reaction instead of having a quiet word.

Why don't you speak to her in person - suggest you start again and say you don't want any bad blood. Say you don't want the garden situation to escelate and you don't want the child to miss out. Apologise for your part - I'm sure you don't want to but I think she'll back down too and things will be on an even keel.

However, if the noise goes on late and is really bad (it's all relative) then the council will put a stop to it - but if she has a small child, I'm giessing it doesn't go on forever - presumably if she's bought a flat, she has a job and can't be partying all the time and still going to work?

Hope it all goes well

angelatgraceland

As others have said-try to get her on side with a little chat sympathising with the problem she is now faced with-just to try to smooth things out a bit for your mother. I can understand the neighbours problem if she was misled but when land searches are done while the sale is proceeding all of this is explained to the buyer. She may just be trying to pull a fast one. Don't share the garden though!

mishkanorman

brokenhearted,

i think you have mis-read the OP, they didnt send the solicitors letter the neighbour did. The OP, it appears, actually just wrote a letter asking them to keep it down a little-thats not unreasonable.


I have no sympathy with the neighbour, just because she has a child doesnt mean others around them want to share that particular joy!! Even if it was a shared garden drunk people outside someones window is too much. We have a house on a corner and the amount of people that stride across our land, or let their dogs mess in the grass, it amazes me how insensitive some people are :rolleyes:

I think you have done the right thing, i wish i could be that brave with the house of many kids that live near me :T I do agree that it may be wise to try and sort it out, perhaps a mediation session with them may help, that way it wont get over heated or appear you are being un-reasonable.


keep us posted,



mishka

Mrs_pbradley936

Thanks everyone, your support has been wonderful. I wish we could have areas set out for older people. In some parts of the USA they have developments for those 55 and over. The people living there know they will not be bothered by kids, bikes, skateboards, etc. Also you cannot have a pet that weighs over 25lb, so you can have a cat or a small dog. Seems to work well there.

angelic_charm

Hi

Have you tried the neighbours from hell website that is good for being offered legal advise or having a bit of a rant.

Im currently experiencing the same problem and we are trying to move. We tried being open but got told to f off! Seems we live in an insular society where people dont communicate or have respect for other people anymore unless they have a taste of their own medicine. We blame police everyone etc..Its how people are brought up nowadays

Good luck with your situation!!

lil_me

Can see it from both sides but if the garden doesn't belong to her I am shocked she uses it. Near where I used to live a lots of flats, one floor gets the front garden and one gets the rear and that's that.

skintas_2

i a similar problem with my neighbour. i did a exchange, the person is swapped warned me of a neighbour. i live in a block of 6 flats ground floor, my neighbour, me on 1st floor and two other flats above me. i have 2 boys aged 4 and 6. i have lived here for 3 years now. this one neighbour thinks she owns the block. When ever i used to have vistors she used to come and ask them, do they live here, move there cars as they dont live here. if someone pressed her buzzer by mistake she would swear at them. Everyone who walked past her door she would swear at. one day i had my friends dog , i was looking after him, he ran out the door and barked at her, as she was coming outta her flat at the same time. She told all the other neighbours the dog attacked her and gave her a asthma attack, this never happened i apolgised to her, she was fing and blinding at me to go back where i came from. im white shes black if i said that to her i would be done for being a racist. i tried to ignore her neva answer her back. it isnt justme she is like this to but most of the other neighbours. in the summer, she came out and yelled at my kids she didnt want them palying in the communal garden, who let them out to play. i had enough as i was seeing this as harrasment, i phoned my HA, they have patrol wardens, they told me to keep a diary of all events.

The next week she accused my partner of putting his cigarettes out in her plants, me and my partner getting really fed up with her. it was may bank holiday, me and my aprtner had a drink, where having a row, she came out whats goin on, i told to fo f**k off and mind her own business. ok sorry shouldnt have used the languge just snapped as we where having a row now she wants to start.

Next week im goin out the communal door where we live her partner walks in accuse me of scratching his car and harassing his missus, hes gonna f**k me up. i phoned the ha they told me to phone the police. i made a report, my housing officer is complete crap didnt visut for 2 months as didnt see it as

skintas_2

urgent. i now just try and keep away from my neighbours, its not worth the hassle, sad as its nice to be nice, my kids didnt do nothing, her grandkids where out next day playing i couldnt told them i dont want them playing here as they dont live here. im pleased i didnt answer her back after 3 years i did. she been warned now by housing officer to keep away. any altercation we are both up form eviction