Moving out of town! Have you?

tanith

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I have to say that you clearly have your head screwed on, I just wonder if your DH has considered how he'd feel about this rural idyll if, sadly, something happened to YOU within a short while of you both moving there. And has it even crossed your mind that the chances are that ONE of you WILL be left there?

I know my mum's always been far better at the planning ahead, in some ways, than my dad was. I really don't think it ever occurred to my dad when they first moved that his health might deteriorate, or that one of them might be left on their own. Then when it did he became a complete worryguts about how Mum would cope on her own and how they ought to move into a home or at least sheltered accommodation. In reality, by the time he was thinking of another move, he wasn't well enough to DO anything about it anyway.

This is the problem OH is thinking like your Dad and that these things will happen wayyyyyyyy in the future where in reality it could happen tomorrow, none of us know how long we have. We would both cope without the other but I know I would be lonely for my family. But I don't want to miss out on what could be a happy 20yrs living by the sea if its possible to have it... but sadly we can't have everything... I have to weigh up the pros and cons and hope we can come to some sort of agreement..

Savvy_Sue

BTW, there was a typo in my previous post, you probably worked out that what I meant to say was ...

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

And has it even crossed HIS mind that the chances are that ONE of you WILL be left there?

azureblue_2

Farway wrote: »

Come the 2012 Olympics your OH may hate Weymouth as it is the venue for the sailing and is bound to be heaving

On plus side new, fast, roads ar being built for easier access from London due to Olympics, and they will remain

FWIW I like Weymouth, was a bit run down in the past but Olympics has helped spruce the place up

Indeed how right you are. Also the house prices have apparently gone through the roof it seems, so we can't afford anything there currently but perhaps after the olympics there will be a bit of a property crash ...! OH will have gone off the idea by then I suspect.
I fancy Truro myself ...:j

maryb

Can I ask - have you had an eye test recently? I had a routine eye test three months ago having left it 2 1/2 years since the last one - only six months more than the recommended interval (I am 55). I was shocked to find I have glaucoma. I had had no symptoms - glaucoma is asymptomatic until about 50% of the nerve fibres in your peripheral filed of vision have been destroyed. That is why they call it the thief of sight

This means that I will almost certainly have to stop driving at some stage. I have notified the DVLA (as required by law) and am waiting to see what they will do. As it was caught at an early stage, the chances are quite good that they will not take my licence away immediately but rather they will put me on a three year review to see how it progresses. The treatment I am on may stabilise it or may only slow its progression (more probable). Even so we have come to the conclusion that we must stay in our current part of London (which to be fair is one of London's green villages) as a bus pass is no good if there are no buses.

I'm lucky that glaucoma is treatable (my nightmare has always been age related macular degeneration, there's no treatment for that) If I had to choose between reading and driving then it's reading every time for me! But my point is that things like this can rear up and bite you on the bum without any warning at all even if you don't feel as if your health has deteriorated in any way. So I would strongly recommend that both of you have full medicals and eye tests etc. If there is anything like this which is not life threatening but definitely a constraint, you want to know sooner rather than later.

Although we had always wanted to move to the country I find I am not repining. Our daughters are getting to the stage where I might reasonably expect grandbabies in the next 10 years and I want to be able to be useful to them - Having worked full time when they were small, I know how tough it can be. I have told them both to live close to each other and to me if they don't want to find themselves worn to shreds

datostar

Back in the 1980's, my parents, then in their 60's and retired, sold up and bought a mobile home in Spain, near Alicante. A man on the plot next to them had done the same, but, sadly his wife fell ill and died. He was stuck there, unable to afford to move back to the UK. The poor fellow sat in the dark in misery every night playing records. My mother ended up not in the best of health but fortunately they were in a position to move back and buy a house again.
I know this thread isn't about moving abroad, but there are parallels and people who sell up and move to remoter parts of this country can end up in the same boat.
I'm a Yorkshireman by origin and upbringing as is my wife, we moved to Tyneside for work reasons and 8 years later moved south for the same reasons. We're retired now and still here, with grown up children and growing up grandchildren nearby who've never known anywhere else. We're in a post-war New Town, not everyone's choice I know, but masses of open space, trees everywhere, and most important, excellent facilities as we're getting older. As others have suggested, health is the imponderable and can be the absolute crippler if you're in some isolated area and can't drive any more. I still do, but was told during my recent eye test that I am developing cataracts. Thing is, if that or anything else gets worse and stops me driving it won't be the end of the world and force a move.
It used to be a bit of a dream to move back to Yorkshire. I don't like what I see now in the parts we grew up in and we couldn't afford the gentrified scenic areas anyway, so that's well behind us now.
Mind you, it would be nice if it would cool down a bit and give us the occasional shower just now!

Agapanthus

Farway wrote: »

My Mother moved from Hillingdon [Middlesex as was] to a small village in Wiltshire, thatched cottages etc. Had train station to Reading as well, for a few years all was well, until old age caught up, unable to drive, unable to walk to station or get on a train [no buses]

Hospital was over 20 miles [Swindon]

Her last few years were not good, trapped in a village unabale to go anywhere

My mother stayed in West London all her life and spent her last few years trapped in her house and unable to go anywhere. You don't have to move to a village to suffer from that.

lilac_lady

I had the vision of a small cottage in the country but when I retired I realised that I was happy where I lived and concentrated on getting the house and garden as stress free as possible so that I'd remain contented. Good neighbourhood, ok transport.

I'd only move if I couldn't manage stairs or won a lot of money. Bet the stairs will win!

Savvy_Sue

It's astonishing where they can fit stair lifts these days ...

michelle67

my husband and myself moved about 400 miles away frrom where we lived and all i can say is it was the best thing we eve done. It was hard for the first few months getting to no the area where we moved too. 16 years later and we are still here

OuterNet

As an alternative, what about a country or coastal caravan?

If you decide you do want to have the town as your permanent location, and want to keep your property there, could you afford to buy or lease a nice caravan. My retired mum has three friends who have done this, they go there from April to October, sometimes just at weekends, other times for a few weeks at a time. It is fairly plush and large so grandchildren can come and stay.

Not for everyone, but these guys seem really happy with their choice.