advice needed re: alcoholic parent

Loopy_Girl

fluffy*giraffe* wrote: »

4 of us went round a couple of months ago to clean the house for her and she has had 6 weeks of counciling.

she is back to square one again now.

So what does that tell you?

She's cleary not coping. No one is saying she is a bad Mother but she clearly has some issues which need addressing and she needs to realise she cannot neglect her daughter..and this is what it is, neglect.

Loopy_Girl

fluffy*giraffe* wrote: »

i know what you are saying fang and i agree to some extent but she has a large family network around her and also the childs father knows what is going on so many people can "do the right thing" not just me.

Why not you though? It's a phone call..it can be anon if you want.

Don't leave it to someone else or until the wee girl tips a chip pan over her as she is trying to make chips or something

juno

fluffy*giraffe* wrote: »

the childs father knows what is going on so many people can "do the right thing" not just me.

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

thorsoak

It's the old story about FOUR people. EVERYBODY, SOMEBODY, ANYBODY and NOBODY. There was an important job to be done, EVERYBODY was sure that SOMEBODY would do it, ANYBODY could have done it, But NOBODY did it. SOMEBODY got angry about that, because it was EVERYBODY’s job. EVERYBODY thought that ANYBODY could do it, but NOBODY realised that EVERYBODY would not do it. It ended up that EVERYBODY blamed SOMEBODY, when actually NOBODY accused ANYBODY

Woops!!! I was posting this and didn't even realise that the post ahead of mine was exactly the same !!

Loopy_Girl

A million thanks juno - if I could give you them I would

OP - if you are uncomfortable with doing the phone call then if you PM me the address and details of concerns then I would do it...then your conscience is clear.

It's something I feel so so strongly about is keeping kids safe and letting them be kids and not have crappy childhoods just because of their parent's life choices...it's breaks my heart and saddens me to the bone

Fang_3

fluffy*giraffe* wrote: »

i know what you are saying fang and i agree to some extent but she has a large family network around her and also the childs father knows what is going on so many people can "do the right thing" not just me.

i will do this with no hesitation once all other ways have been explored as it is also a nightmare to work with!!!

And what if they don't? What if, like you, they think that someone else will do something? What happens to that girl then? No one helps her.

pigpen

fluffy*giraffe* wrote: »

ss will send a letter to say they are coming

From experience.. no they won't!!

They are there to protect children and support the parents in times of need.. and most of them do try and take their job seriously.

Who are you wanting to protect most a mother with a drink problem that will impact on her daughters life FOREVER!!! or a little girl who cannot help herself?

How would you feel if this woman turned violent and hurt her daughter?

Yes, 'everyone' knows but it takes someone with an ounce of conscience to do something about it!

Errata

Phone the NSPCC for help and advice, you can chose to remain anonymous.

http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/worried-about-a-child/the-nspcc-helpline/phone-the-nspcc-helpline/helpline-phone_wda72272.html

Loz01

You have to let someone know if you've got concerns - for all you know that girl could be going through hell every day, hoping someones going to help her! Shes only 9, she cant help herself.

ailuro2

I agree, the time for helping the mother has passed. you tried but it wasn't enough to make her turn over a new leaf.

Maybe having social services involved will give her the kick start she needs to get back on the rails as it were, but do it now, e-mail them, or phone them, or just write a letter voicing your concerns.

why did she split up with her husband? Did he find out about her drinking? Or has she only started recently with the drink.

Please, take action now, before her DD ends up suffering more permanent damage.;)